Riverbrian

He wasn't going to be re-signed I suppose so the move makes sense. Just another exclamation point on the bullpen that they built in the off season. I'd forget about the pen for moment. Let it roll with what we have and look for chances to promote our youth to MLB when they are ready. Lets see if Ramirez can help us next year. Trevor May... I'd leave him in Rochester for a bit and stretch him out to see if he can improve our rotation. I was all for May staying in the pen when the season started because the bullpen was neglected and we needed him in that role but it doesn't matter now. Stretch May out

The worst team in the American League will be taking on the best team in the American League. It’s the 15th seed vs. the 1st seed. If this was March Madness it would be North Carolina vs. Weber State. It’s the Rangers vs. the Twins and it’s the mere thought of the little guy beating the big guy that makes the month of July so exciting... the Lamb beating the Lion. Many great things have happened in July so I’m ready for a little July Madness. Here are some things to think about: 1. Dolly the Sheep – On July 5th in the year 1996, Scottish scientists took a cell from a mammary gland and proved that they could indeed take that single cell and use it to create the most famous sheep in the whole world… Dolly. Terry Ryan was a young General Manager at the time but was fascinated by the research. Every bullpen pitcher the Minnesota Twins have used since 1997 have been clones of Scott Klingenback. 2. Machu Picchu -- On July 24th in the year 1911, American Hiram Bingham discovered and presented to the world the lost city of the Incan Empire. The Incas were really incredible for their time. Everybody knows about the advanced architecture and highway systems. However, they were also advanced farmers, discovered cocaine and were among the first to domesticate animals. A little cocaine and they were like, “Hey… bring that alpaca over here… let’s keep him.” 3. The Scopes Monkey Trial – On July 21st in the year 1925, John Thomas Scopes was found guilty and fined $100 for teaching human evolution in a state-funded school. At that time… In Tennessee… the creationists were a little more evolved and so they won. 4. The U.S Postal Service – On July 26th in the year 1775, the U.S. Postal Service was created. The very first piece of mail was sent from Philadelphia all the way to Boston. The trip took 8 full days on horseback through rain, sleet and snow. Since the mailbox was not invented yet, the mail carrier was forced to return to Philadelphia with the mail. 5. One small step for man – On July 20th in the year 1969, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin and some other guy flew to the moon, walked around and returned home safely. This happened 10 years before roller blades were invented and that’s pretty incredible. Neil and Buzz left behind more than footprints on the lunar surface… They also left a 2 foot wide panel with 100 mirrors pointed at the earth that scientists use for experimentation to this day. Also left behind on the surface of the moon… all hope of the Vikings winning a Superbowl. ____________________ Lineups: RANGERS Shin-Soo Choo (L) RF Ian Desmond [R) CF Nomar Mazara (L) LF Adrian Beltre [R) 3B Prince Fielder (L) DH Rougned Odor (L) 2B Elvis Andrus [R) SS Mitch Moreland (L) 1B Bobby Wilson [R) C Martin Perez (L) P TWINS Eduardo Nunez [R) SS Joe Mauer (L) 1B Miguel Sano [R) 3B Brian Dozier [R) 2B Trevor Plouffe [R) DH Robbie Grossman (S) LF Max Kepler (L) RF Kurt Suzuki [R) C Byron Buxton [R) CF Ervin Santana [R) P Game-time forecast: sunny and clear-ish, 73 deg F, no chance of rain, winds at 5mph from the ENE. Win Twins! Click here to view the article

Uff Da… we play the White Sox a lot. We play them almost as often as we do the Royals, Indians and Tigers. I can’t be certain but we might even play them again. The Good Guys vs the Bad Guys. Yeah... the Hawk calls the White Sox the Good Guys but we ain’t buying that. We know they are the bad guys!!! Here are some things to think about: 1. Al Capone – This famous bad guy ruled Chicago. Instead of buying his wife a gift on Valentine’s Day… he was just too busy for that in 1929 as he was busy planning and executing a massacre. When his wife found out exactly why he was too busy… she gave it some thought and decided it was best to just let it go. Capone has been portrayed in many films over the years but never by Al Pacino because he didn’t want to be mistakenly called Cappuccino. 2. Hannibal Lecter – Bad guys are even more dangerous when they are also highly intelligent. Hannibal can listen to Brian Dozier speak and immediately detect that his dialect is pure Mississippi even if he sounds like he is from Arkansas. Hannibal also knows that his pull hitting issues are related to an obsessive compulsive fixation with his hair. If Brian would simply shave his head… the ball will go the other way. 3. Donald Trump – Speaking of hair… I think both parties are run by bad guys… I’m neither Democrat nor Republican… anti-political by choice. Donald Trump says he can control the country but he also said that he could control his hair, so I’m still a little skeptical. According to medical professionals… the stress of being the President will take ten years off your life. This is why Trump has received enough votes to be the Republican nominee. 4. Hillary Clinton – Sometimes the Bad Guy is a Bad Gal. When Hillary secured the Democratic nomination, her Husband Bill brought her Flowers to celebrate. Hillary said… “Get her out of here.” 5. Telemarketers – The only time our landline rings… it’s a telemarketer. Here’s how the last phone call went. Riverbrian: Hello (10 Seconds of Silence) Telemarketer: Hello… Can I speak with Mr. Rear (Pause) Brain. Riverbrian: I’ll assume that I am him Telemarketer: How are you today… Mr. Rear Brain? Riverbrian: My eyelashes hurt for some reason Telemarketer: That’s good to hear… I’m calling on behalf of Citibank. I want to let you know that you’ve been personally selected for our new Triple Iron Ore Card… how does that sound to you? Riverbrian: Like a baby crying in the middle of a wedding. Telemarketer: I know… it’s seems too good to be true. Only 45 billion people are eligible for this special offer and to get you signed up… all we need is every single bit of your personal information. Do you have 5 hours so we can go over everything? The quicker we get started… the quicker you can start spending money that you don’t have… anywhere in the world. Riverbrian: When I was 3 years old… I drank finger nail polish remover. Do you have a box on that form for that? Telemarketer: We also have a special promotion… If you provide the contact information of 5 of your friends. You will get a free spatula. Riverbrian: Now you’re talkin… There’s ChiTown... Glunn… North… Do you take Canadians? Telemarketer: Canadians only count for 75 Percent of a Person. Riverbrian: Chief is extra American… He’s about 1 and a quarter. Telemarketer: Ok… one more. ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Eduardo Nunez [R) SS Robbie Grossman (S) LF Joe Mauer (L) 1B Brian Dozier [R) 2B Trevor Plouffe [R) 3B Max Kepler (L) RF Byung-ho Park [R) DH Kurt Suzuki [R) C Byron Buxton [R) CF Kyle Gibson [R) P WHITE SOX Tim Anderson [R) SS Adam Eaton (L) RF Jose Abreu [R) 1B Melky Cabrera (S) LF Todd Frazier [R) 3B Brett Lawrie [R) 2B Alex Avila (L) C Avisail Garcia [R) DH J.B. Shuck (L) CF Jose Quintana (L) P Game-time forecast: currently it's cloudy and 69 deg, but by 7pm it should be clear, sunny and 68 deg F, humidity at 46%, winds at 13mph from the N. It's WAY cooler today than it was yesterday. Click here to view the article

If you have ever listened to the MLB network on satellite radio, you already know everything you need to know about the Yankees. The Cubs may be the greatest story in baseball this year but they are still a distant second to the amount of time spent discussing the pinstripes. If it’s a winning year… the callers line up to talk about how great the Yankees are. If it’s a losing year… the caller’s line up to discuss things to shove up Cashman’s… umm… let’s go with nostril. This year… the Yankees are hovering around .500 and the callers line up to talk about the trade deadline maneuvers that must be done to make the team go one direction or the other because they will not stand for any of this "being in the middle" business. They won’t sing any Jimmy Eat World in New York… there will be no “It just takes some time” or “Everything, Everything will be all right." New Yorkers want results NOW!!! In Minnesota… being in the middle sounds nice and cozy. Here are some things to think about: 1. Jan Brady – Poor Jan had some serious issues as the middle child. Younger sister Cindy had curls and that lisp that required extensive attention with speech therapists so she could be understood; and older sister Marcia was a close personal friend of Davy Jones and didn’t need braces. This caused severe jealousy issues and constant fits of rage for attention. It also didn’t help that Florence Henderson addressed her as “Hey You” or “Whatsherface.” There were a lot of issues in that house. Forcing Alice to wear that light blue maid uniform constantly was a clear attempt to keep Alice in her rightful place. Having 6 kids crammed into two bedrooms and one bathroom between them was clearly the work of an architect that just didn’t care anymore. 2. Middle Finger – The origin of extending this finger to show your displeasure did not come from New York City but they are well practiced with it. New Yorkers will display the digit so often that they have developed acute painful carpal tunnel from repetitive flicking; and in severe cases… their hands have become irrevocably deformed and they are now unable to pick up small objects. The origin actually started in medieval times. French warriors would cut off the middle fingers of British archers since it was the finger that was used to draw back the bow. The replacement archers started to display their middle finger to defiantly show the French that they were able to fire and then did. This backfired on the English because the gesture served as sufficient warning that arrows were coming and they simply moved to the left. 3. Stealers Wheel – Gerry Rafferty attended a music industry party. The conversations and events of the evening were so excruciating that he was inspired to write the line “Clowns to the left of me… Jokers to the right… Here I am… Stuck in the Middle with You.” I’ve been to a few of these and they haven’t changed over the years; and you spend the night half-listening to conversations while thinking up plausible excuses to leave. I was able to escape one of these events by using the excuse that I had to leave the party and its distractions so I could focus my mind in order to come up with a decent excuse to leave. 4. The Middle Ages – The period of time from the 5th Century to the 15th Century is what we call the “Middle Ages.” Statisticians, through exhaustive research, have recently concluded that this may be a misnomer because Cro-Magnon Man built the first Wal-Mart in 30,000 B.C. 5. The Story Arc – The Middle is very important to the structure and flow of the story. Writers have a strict formula that they follow that is referred to as a Story Arc. A beginning that shows the world before it changes… an inciting incident that compels the hero to action... the middle or mid-point that is very important because that is where the tables turn... the back half of the story that is usually the antagonist looking like he is going to win... which leads to the climax that is the deciding battle between the hero and the villain and finally… “The End” which is usually a big graphic in a unique font that says “The End." It should be obvious to all that our General Manager Terry Ryan does not follow this Arc when building the Twins because our hero is still looking out his office window waiting for the inciting incident to force him into action. It should also be obvious to all that I do not follow this established arc when I write because that would require actual thought and this is how it ends… THE END ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Eduardo Nunez [R) 3B Robbie Grossman (S) LF Joe Mauer (L) 1B Brian Dozier [R) 2B Max Kepler (L) RF Eduardo Escobar (S) SS Byung-ho Park [R) DH Kurt Suzuki [R) C Byron Buxton [R) CF Tommy Milone (L) P YANKEES Brett Gardner (L) LF Rob Refsnyder [R) 1B Carlos Beltran (S) RF Alex Rodriguez [R) DH Starlin Castro [R) 2B Chase Headley (S) 3B Didi Gregorius (L) SS Aaron Hicks (S) CF Austin Romine [R) C Masahiro Tanaka [R] P Game-time forecast: clear, sunny 76 deg F, no rain in sight, winds at 9mph from the SE. Let's go, Twins! Beat those damn Yankees! Click here to view the article

I have no defense of Arcia defense. I hope you didn't think I was actually trying.

Considering that OF play is filled to the brim with routine plays. I'd answer that question with No. Arcia has probably missed about 3 balls this year on plays that would be made the majority of time. That isn't good but you can absorb that as long as you don't have another guy like that. We got one who is even worse in Sano.

I'm with you I've waited patiently over the years and told myself and others. Let the Man do his Job. I Can't do that anymore the mistakes are just too large and plentiful. You expressed my thoughts perfectly. Everyone knew he was out of options. Instead of giving him one last chance to show something with a ball club that has nothing to lose. They decided to take away that one last chance.

Yeah I am and I get the concept... I just don't trust the methodology at this point. I hope to trust it later when it is stabilized somehow. The sample size swings are too much for any hat hanging. I'm a big defense guy and I look at it pretty simple. Did you take away or give an extra out. The answer to that is the difference between hanging a zero and leaving a crooked number and ball games can be won or lost right there. Arcia... He certainly wasn't a take away an out guy (maybe his arm on occasion). But then again... The Current Twins don't have a lot of take away an out types of guys after Buxton.

I'm not a WAR guy

Yeah I'm not happy... The rest of this season should be about finding out what you have for 2017 and each player should get an equal shot at showing their future worth especially when you don't have those pesky little pressures of making the playoffs. I'm not happy... because I've watched nearly every game and I know that Arcia didn't play well but I also know that he wasn't beaten out by someone who played better.

Easy to see, hear, feel and smell this train coming down the tracks. Oswaldo Arcia was put to sleep... plain and simple. Healthy and he was given 11 AB's in the last 15 games. Put to sleep on a team that keeps losing and losing big. He wasn't accidentally put to sleep. He was hand selected and then purposely put to sleep. Hand selected because... I assume... an evaluation was made prior. An evaluation made by the same people who made all these other evaluations that have been... nearly 100 percent wrong since September... I would have felt slightly comfortable with this move if Arcia was given a fair chance to compete for a roster slot. I could have been slightly on-board with this decision if I couldn't name at least 7 current Twins who have performed worse this year or at bare minimum... equally as questionable as Arcia has been... yet were still hand selected to be given a chance to turn it around. I won't even try to predict if Arcia will or will not make it down the line. He's flawed right now just like the overwhelming majority of his now ex-teammates. However... he has enough pop to be something special and he's still on the young side so who knows. This team is 20-46... it doesn't need to make premature hard decisions like this one. It's bad enough that we have 20 wins and 46 losses... but now we get to watch other teams vulture over our 20-46 carcass. Mark me down for being of the belief that this might be the right decision based on absolutely horrible reasoning. Dear Jim Pohlad, In the Total System Failure Interview... Chip Scoggins asked if you were prepared to do something drastic if the team continues to lose and look so uninspired. You were quoted as saying: “Give me something drastic that — without just making us feel good by doing it – that’s necessarily going result in something better,” The resulting in something better part may be true for a short term time frame... that doesn't really matter anymore... but you have failed to consider that the lead designers of this total system failure will have many chances to make it worse for 2017 and beyond and 2017 and beyond should still matter.

Ahh... You got cold with a couple of hills. In Grand Forks... It's Cold with no hills for miles and miles.

I'm with Willard Scott 72 Degrees is perfect.

There's 50 feet of crap... and then there's us. http://worldcricketwatch.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Brad-Pitt-Moneyball4.png

I remember those youth hockey trips coming back from wherever in Winter My wife is cold so she is cranking the heat up and I have meat falling off the bone.

It’s a Father’s day weekend and the Yankees have come to town to provide entertainment for all of the fathers who want to spend Father’s day at Target Field. The total number of Fathers that would consider attending has been in a free fall as the season has progressed. Thousands will stay home and mow the lawn instead. Everyone knows that I am the biggest (not in circumference) Twins fan in the world and… I’ve elected to not spend Father’s day at Target Field. You have fallen from lofty heights if I’m making the decision to not attend on my special day. My recently graduated son and I will be attending on Saturday instead to get some Sano bobble heads. Woo Hoo… Go Twins!!! For the Father’s… here are some things to think about: 1. John Adams – We all remember the drama that John Adams caused a young boy named Elliott. This courageous young lad who had to escape the feds on a flying bicycle with a funny voiced extra-terrestrial blocking his view… sitting in a crate strapped somehow to the front. It was John Adams who set everything in motion when he signed the Alien and Sedition Acts into law. That’s why the Feds were involved and that’s why Aliens are very careful to avoid detection when they visit… That’s why when they are discovered… they are rarely seditious. It’s all because of John Adams and the story doesn’t end there. John Adams is… the most fatherly American of all time. John Adams was the father of John Quincy Adams who was our 79th President of the United States… John Adams was a Founding Father of our nation as a signer of the Declaration of Independence and because he was such a strong supporter of national defense… John Adams has been called the father of the U.S. Navy. He built a bunch of boats and after you took the time to Adam all up, the numbers suggested that we had enough for a navy. 2. Gomez Addams – Another important father in our history. Always dressed in a double breasted pin stripe suit… Gomez liked to hang upside down and dynamite model trains. He kept lit cigars in his pocket and was easily distracted by his wife for whom he had great fondness. Gomez and his importance can’t be understated. Without Gomez as a father… Tuesday would roll right into Thursday when the clock struck midnight. 3. Adam West – Not many people know this but Batman is the father of 6 children. This has always been a closely guarded secret because he had many enemies who would have loved to have that information for selfish evil blackmail reasons. He made the tremendous sacrifice to live the solitary life of a billionaire playboy while his children… Pow, Bam, Biff, Whammo, Zap and Zonk lived in the countryside outside of Gotham undetected and in total poverty. 4. Darwin’s Frog – Native to South America… this species of Frog plays a very unique role as the father. The female Darwin's frog will lay her eggs in water like most other frogs but when they are tadpoles… the dad Darwin's frog protects them from predators by putting the tadpoles into his mouth and storing them in his vocal sac until they are fully developed frogs. At that point… he regurgitates them out and they are introduced to the world. If the Human male had to do that to keep our species alive… it would be the end of the human race. 5. Father’s Day Gift – I’m not sure what I will get for a gift on Sunday. Two years ago… my sons got me a coffee cup that said “#1 Dad” on it. Last year… I got another coffer cup… This one said “#87 Dad”. ____________________ Lineups: YANKEES Jacoby Ellsbury(L) CF Brett Gardner(L) LF Carlos Beltran(S) RF Alex Rodriguez[R] DH Brian McCann(L) C Starlin Castro[R] 2B Didi Gregorius(L) SS Chase Headley(S) 3B Ike Davis(L) 1B CC Sabathia (L) P TWINS Eduardo Nunez[R] 3B Robbie Grossman(S) LF Brian Dozier[R] 2B Trevor Plouffe[R] DH Byung-Ho Park[R] 1B Eduardo Escobar(S) SS Max Kepler(L) RF Kurt Suzuki[R] C Byron Buxton[R] CF Kyle Gibson [R] P Game-time forecast: Clear and sunny (until 9:02 pm when the sun sets), 78 deg F, 1% chance of precipitation, winds from the E at 8mph. Go Twins! Click here to view the article

8th Inning That was when my chin hit my chest.

Disclaimer: I'm an equal opportunity Make Fun of anything type guy. Jewish Guy was accidentally shot in a hunting accident and he was in tremendous pain. Too much pain to handle and he asked his friend to finish him off. Friend: "I'm sorry I don't have any Bullets left" Jewish Guy "It's Ok... You can buy some from me"

That is pretty strange Almost as strange as a Hockey Player named after a City in Missouri.

Buxton and Grossman are like Hockey Players trying to go bar down.