Riverbrian

1. Winona – Approximately 27 thousand people call Winona home in the far Southeastern corner of Minnesota. In the Dakota language… Winona means “Almost Wisconsin.” The town is watched over by a rock pinnacle on a bluff called Sugar Loaf. Everyone assumed it was a bluff being named Sugar Loaf… but it was not a bluff… they were serious and now the town is full of green-eyed ladies and the town motto is “Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You." Winona is the home of J.R. Watkins, a company that started selling pain reliever door to door before adding cinnamon, peppercorns and eventually baby wipes to the product line. None of those things are particularly effective for relieving pain, but it gives old people an excuse to visit people in their homes. Winona also holds the distinction of being the warmest place in Minnesota with an average temp of 48.9. Being the warmest place in Minnesota is like being the jumboest of jumbo shrimp. 2. Our Twins – The only thing we really have to complain about is Kyle Gibson and he has been removed for the time being so that’s gone. The bats performed fairly well against Oakland. Sano has remained a slugger supreme and even when Molitor was accused of trying to ruin things by playing the bench yesterday afternoon, that bench went out and produced all of the hits and runs. Without Escobar, Gimenez and Santana driving in 4 of the teams 5 runs… we would have won… obviously. 3. The Red Sox – They are probably tired of playing all that bean ball with the Baltimore Orioles and are ready for a team that doesn’t throw all that hard. On paper the Red Sox were supposed to be the team to beat. They were loaded on the mound, in the bullpen and at each position. They have a payroll of $197million so they are supposed to be good, but as it stands right now, the Red Sox have won one more game and lost one more game than the Twins. If they keep up that pace… the Red Sox will play 164 games while the Twins play 162. 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation Montana: Does anybody feel silly running from that Helicopter on Tuesday? Mauer: Yeah a little Montana: It was just a random whatever… totally unrelated to Jon Mantegna walking away upset. McCarthy: What are the odds of that happening at that exact moment? Maddon: Yeah… I admit… the circumstances… Joe Mantagna… considering it all… it was pretty frightening. There is no reason for us to feel silly. Anybody would have reacted the same way. McCarthy: I didn’t like the neighbor laughing at us like that. Montana: It was his drone delivery from Amazon. Mauer: Yeah… obviously he was ready for it… he knew it was coming. Maddon: That’s why he wasn’t scared. 5. Big Enough – I was watching an old western and I heard the famous line, “This town ain’t big enough for the both of us.” I thought to myself… we’ve gotten a lot better at architecture and city planning since then. ____________________ Lineups: RED SOX Dustin Pedroia 2B Andrew Benintendi LF Mookie Betts RF Hanley Ramirez DH Xander Bogaerts SS Mitch Moreland 1B Josh Rutledge 3B Jackie Bradley CF Christian Vazquez C Eduardo Rodriguez P TWINS Brian Dozier 2B Joe Mauer 1B Miguel Sano 3B Robbie Grossman RF Max Kepler CF Eduardo Escobar DH Jason Castro C Jorge Polanco SS Eddie Rosario LF Phil Hughes P Weather: 74 deg F, clear, no rain, a little breezy at 13mph from the WNW. Sigh. About 30 degrees better than Chicago right now. And Chicago fans complain about Target Field not having a roof because of the cold. Hmmm ...