LaBombo

I'd raise, but that's just me, I'm an aggressive gambler. Mr. Vegas. http://i4.ytimg.com/vi/gzZNh0P9K38/mqdefault.jpg

Goat of the Game? Usually I have to throw five feet over the first baseman and break a car window for that, but... ok!

Conspiracy theory: the Twins staged the Sano/Nunez collision to distract from their unpopular boycott of scoring runs. Now instead of talking about another Twins loss tomorrow... "Remember that time Sano went after a fly ball and smashed that infielder guy? That was awesome." http://i0.wp.com/manslife.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/I-am-chris-farley.jpg?resize=350%2C200

Stoli to her friends...http://vodkabuzz.com/uploads/2012/04/stolichnaya_stoli2-640x853.jpg

How 'bout that Millone?!?

Good lord.

'After sufficient acclimation, Kepler finally gets another plate appearance...' http://community.thefoundry.co.uk/discussion/gallery/thumb/3cc02153cfa3c345653174be73057209_t.jpg Ok, ok, I know, that's totally ridiculous. Kepler bats left.

A bit of both, possibly?

And modesty. Don't forget your bottomless well of modesty.

Don't forget to spit at thee, from Hell's heart, or at least from Tailgator's... http://zdnet4.cbsistatic.com/hub/i/r/2014/10/03/94b698bb-4b36-11e4-b6a0-d4ae52e95e57/resize/370xauto/8cd9591c187eaddda183f1b1a6e38923/psystar-wrath-khan.jpg

And here's Molly, getting the boys psyched up for their next mission... http://www.cinemablend.com/images/sections/52896/star_trek_52896.jpg

I freely admit to having a very serious dislike for St. Peter, and on top of that, also acknowledge there's a certain amount of glad-handing and shameless, brainless promotion that goes into his job that can't really be avoided. That being said, the Twins are reaching a point where his NOT plugging the "experience" would have more value to the franchise, because of its implication that he A) is physiologically capable of experiencing embarrassment, and B} is too busy doing something, ANYTHING, really, behind the scenes to help right the ship that he doesn't have time to sell bratwurst to the public.

Not smelling the RBI's. Redmond unavailable, so Adrien Brody is coming onboard as an 'RBI olfactory consultant'...

Pass the Rogaine, I've got the rest covered...

The agents of Twins players whose contracts are up at the end of this season?

Kepler can't be used again until an eighth inch of dust has settled on him following his previous cameo.

Or until someone else starts.

Yeah. That... was bad. And that's coming from a former sax player who's had a solo not go as planned. But that wasn't just 'not as planned' bad. That was 'jam the mouthpiece up a goose's @ss and blow as hard as you can' bad. Paid by the move, and that cabin up north ain't gonna pay for itself.

Good find, it was an interesting read and thanks for posting. It seemed that the author was much more comfortable drawing conclusions about the age/injury relationship from his admittedly limited data set than he was with position/injury. There was no attempt to divide each position into age groups, and age appeared to be the much greater contributor/correlation to injury than position. And even if there were moderately compelling age-neutral data that a hypothetical generic 23 year old would be at greater risk of injury at third than in right, there's still the unavoidable fact that Sano is not a generic 23 year old. He's a kid who has played only one position in his very short pro career, and has yet to accumulate a full season's worth of major league at bats. And yes, it's a very small sample size, but so far he looks profoundly uncomfortable both in his new position and at the plate. There's no guaranteed win/win path here that I can see. I don't pretend to know for sure that Sano has what it takes to play third in the majors. On the other hand, neither do the Twins, if you go by the fact that they've apparently changed their minds after watching him there a whopping 9 games. Bottom line for me is that in an imaginary vacuum of only replacement-level alternatives to Sano at third or RF, the Twins play Sano at third. And if not, aren't they obligated to clean house in the scouting department after they clearly dropped the ball on what was probably the most heavily scouted MLB-ready prospect in the organization? But the Sano position call isn't being made in a vacuum, and the longer we watch him struggle in the field and at the plate, the more certain we'll be that the Twins moved him in order to accommodate both Plouffe and their own inability to stomach sub-par defense in exchange for even stellar offense.

Is there... like, data or something for that? Because if you're asserting that it's true on an intuitive level, that's questionable at the very best. Mr. Brooks raises a couple of pretty strong arguments against the idea that RF doesn't represent a higher injury risk for Sano, and my guess is that there might be others. At any rate, the defense here at TD of the Twins' forced position change of Sano has been an interesting one, coming as it does on the heels of several years of the fairly common, seemingly almost reflexive shooting down of outside-the-box ideas put forth by some posters during the lean times that the Twins attempt in order to put a better team on the field. 'Players aren't Roto cards or Xbox avatars, you can't just shuffle them around to different positions and/ or different teams like they are' was how the argument went, or words to that effect. Much was made of how there are egos, comfort levels, franchise good will, and a boatload of other intangibles to consider, in addition to the more tangible variables like, in the case of position change, defense. But now Sano is charging around right field like a near-sighted rhino when he's not being a mess at the plate, Kyle Schwarber's left ACL is shredded, and, thanks in part to both injuries and the Sano move, the Twins are currently the proud owners of zero reserve infielders capable of playing anywhere but first. So how much more has to happen before the 'Players aren't Roto cards' rule applies to the Twins coaching staff and front office, and not just to TD 'dreamers'?

There was also that time that Senator Jesse Helms wanted to ban Mapplethorpe bats, but I think that may have had something to do with the logo being obscene...

Sounds great. It would look terrific on a resume, and dovetail beautifully with the not-infrequent observation by others, dating all the way back to grade school, that I sometimes appear to be "in a world of my own". And I plead guilty with extenuating circumstances to the science fictiony-ness of that post. Blame the movie version of Moneyball, in which the late Phillip Seymour Hoffman as a perpetually grumpy Art Howe says of Scott Hatteberg: "I like him... but I can judge him. First base is the moon to him." Thanks to that quote, every time I've watched Sano in the outfield I've found myself wondering where his spacesuit is. PS I'm only accepting your nomination if you'll agree to be consigliere. Talking me out of bad ideas is sure to be a full-time job, an edict against Sano in the outfield being the first.

Thanks! I think. Therefore, I... am?

Isn't that ability called abstract thought? I was under the impression that not only is it potentially a fairly valuable skill, it's one of the handful of extraordinarily useful traits that makes us human beings as opposed to just large, hairless, appallingly un-cute lemurs. Take, for example, the mental image of an absolutely enormous young man hurtling at maximum velocity, and yet often at least somewhat blindly, across a portion of the baseball field which to him is more or less the surface of alien world, toward either an immovable wall-like object, or a highly movable, crushable, and incredibly valuable other young man. Not only is it awfully easy to imagine an undesirable outcome, it's potentially extraordinarily beneficial to have done so and then avoided having it actually happen. And what's more, the entire mental exercise can take place without any knowledge of (let alone concern for) who Trevor Plouffe is.