Kodys, ReKonsidered

Unexpected things happen in baseball. The Minnesota Twins are not immune to it. Indeed, they have too many to name in one blog. A smattering off the top of my head:

• A palm ball merchant named Tony Fiore throws absolute slop, posts double-digit victories, finishes 8th in Rookie of the Year voting in 2002.
• Lew Ford gets MVP votes in 2004.
• Marty Cordova goes on the IL with a tanning bed injury in 2002.
• Dave Kingman hits a ball out of the Metrodome one day in 1984, Mickey Hatcher turns his ankle the next day trying to catch a stunt ball dropped from the Teflon sky.
• Bombo Rivera.

This year, we add Kody Clemens to the list.

A 29-year-old journeyman best known for his famous dad, Clemens was acquired from the Phillies for cash. Not even a low-level prospect. Just cash.

With the entire active roster in the sanitarium where Doc Holliday was at the end of Tombstone, Clemens was forced into action and has simply thrived, belting two massive home runs vs. Boston and Baltimore along with Wednesday’s walk-off double versus Cleveland.

Which leads any reasonable person to the following spot: Are we correctly (korrectly?) assessing Kodys with a K?

Kody with a K allows one to make certain assumptions:

• He’s not very old—there isn’t a Pope Kody or a Chief Justice Kody.
• He’s very into motocross or BMX racing.
• He has hard-won knowledge of Mountain Dew special edition flavors.
• If he’s notable enough to have a Wikipedia page, there’s a section called “TikTok Controversy.”
• His recent hit single, “Cold Beers and Chevy Trucks (Song for the Troops),” has been number one on the Billboard Country charts for three weeks.
• If he’s on ESPN, he’s competing in the Johnsonville Cornhole World Championship, being held in the ballroom of Knoxville’s worst Radisson.

And yet, here’s Kody Clemens, keying the Minnesota Twins 13-game winning streak. This is not what Kodys with a K do. Kodys are helping you find what you’re looking for at Bass Pro Shops. Kodys have a pyramid of spent Copenhagen tins in their off-campus apartment. Kodys are at the skatepark where the Pamida used to be. Kodys are your seventh bullpen option.

(Sidebar: Kodys are different from Codys. It’s the K, folks. The Suite Life of Zach and Kody simply doesn’t work and everyone knows this. Cody will be at the farmers market this weekend if you need further explanation.)

It’s fair to wonder how sustainable this all is. After all, there’s no Kody with a K in the Hall of Fame. There’s never even been a Kody with a K in the All-Star Game. Lesser players have gone on longer heaters than Clemens only to return to obscurity.

But he’s done more than enough to make all of us reexamine our priors. Has this Kody with a K shattered our preconceptions of the most professional rodeo-ass name in the English language?

The jury’s still out, but in a world where celebrity failsons are a blight on the culture and country, let’s celebrate Kody with a K’s heroic play with a raised can of Rockstar Silver Ice Zero Sugar Energy Drink and a Salt Life long-sleeved t-shirt. He’s earned it.

Image license here.