Bonnes Confirms Worst Loss of Season Was Spilled IPA

John Bonnes, proprietor of Twins Daily and co-host of Real Housewives fan podcast Gleeman and the Geek, is known for declaring a yearly Worst Loss of the Season for the local nine. It’s usually late in the season, and it’s usually a deciding factor in the team’s playoff push or lack thereof. 

As gutting losses piled up after the trade deadline, Bonnes was frequently asked if the most recent one was the Worst Loss of the Season. He’d reply, with an almost zen-like calm, “The Worst Loss of the Season hasn’t happened yet.”

Now, with the team all but mathematically eliminated, his fellow fans are wondering if Bonnes missed the boat. 

As it happens, he misses his beer.

“Friday, August 28th,” said Bonnes, in an exclusive sitdown with Twins Daily. “I was at The Ball Park Cafe at the State Fair. The Twins were losing to the White Sox at Target Field. I had just ordered a fresh, full-flavored Metrodome IPA from my friends at BlackStack Brewing. It was in my hands, and then it wasn’t. 

“That spilled beer was the Worst Loss of the Season. I think about it every day.”

Sources close to Bonnes confirm this.

“John had just gotten his beer when another patron accidentally hit his arm,” said Bonnes’s wife Chrissie. “He was super apologetic and offered to buy John a new one, but the keg had just kicked. The beer was gone. He had a Modelo instead. 

“He didn’t even finish it. The light had gone out of his eyes.”

Bonnes says the whole incident was a blur.

“This soft, hazy IPA that rides a Mosaic, Krush, and Strata Hyperboost hop bill was gone. I wish it had never been there. Knowing I could have had it is worse than it never being there at all. I’m just sick about it.”

When asked if there was an actual game that qualified for Worst Loss of the Season status, Bonnes was defiant.

“At the end of the day, these are just games. But when you lose a full beer, it marks you. The bready malt backbone, the orange/grapefruit aromatics, maybe even a little bit of pine and bitter citrus on the finish…and it’s gone in an instant. People overcome loss, but they don’t forget it.”

Which team do you dislike the most in the AL Central?

Which team do you dislike the most in the AL Central?

• Which team do you dislike the most in the AL Central? Required
  • Guardians
  • White Sox
  • Royals
  • Tigers
• Save

See All Twins Polls >