Beat Writer’s Offseason Twins Notebook Just Drawings of Cowboys

In an offseason wherein trading Jovani Morán counts as major news, covering the Minnesota Twins has never been more difficult for the sportswriters assigned to the squad. Nowhere was this more noticeable than Phil Miller’s most recent offseason notebook column for the Minnesota Star Tribune, which was just a series of doodles and drawings of “old-timey” cowboys.

“I call this one ‘Bad Bart,’” said Miller, pointing at a crude sketch of a large man in a ten-gallon hat. “He’s got an itchy trigger finger, that one.”

Miller’s fellow scribes sympathize with his plight.

“The editor wants content, but the team simply isn’t providing any,” said a beat writer who asked not to be identified. “I do a podcast with (Twins Daily’s John) Bonnes and we did 75 minutes on (Rule 5 draftee) Eiberson Castellano. Nobody wants that. Castellano's family doesn't want that. It gave me a nosebleed that hasn’t stopped since.

“I like Chinese food,” he added.

“It makes your job incredibly difficult,” said Betsy Helfand of the Pioneer Press. “At least the teams who are tanking are trading players away. You can cover the transaction and the disgruntled fanbase.

“I should also note that Phil is a talented draftsman, and his portrayals of lonesome, grizzled cowboys astride their majestic horses are breathtaking. Some would say haunting.”

In a statement, the Star Tribune supported the decision to run the unconventional piece and asked everyone to quit making fun of the donation page.

As for Miller, he says he’s looking forward to spring training, which is now just a little over a month away.

“This fellow here, he’s ‘Handsome Clyde,’” said Miller of another cowboy he drew. “The thing about Clyde is, he isn’t very handsome at all. But his mean streak? It’s very real.”

Image license here.