Twins to Open MLB’s First Ketamine Therapy Clinic at Target Field Named “ꓘ-Hole”

[Cody Schoenmann]

Finishing the 2025 MLB regular season with a 70-92 record (and fourth-place finish in the AL Central) after tearing down the 26-man roster at the July 31 Trade Deadline, the Minnesota Twins and new Chief Executive Tom Pohlad are looking for creative solutions to get fans back to Target Field, despite excitement around the team at an all-time low. The organization has introduced various intriguing options, including $2 pregame beers on every Friday and Saturday home game, free ice cream for children 12 and under on Sundays, and exciting theme nights like Star Wars Night on May 16 and Hello Kitty Night on July 26. Yet animosity persists within the fanbase, with the organization expected to attract fewer than 2 million paid ballpark visitors this season.

 

Pohlad and the club’s marketing team have continued working on special theme nights and park deals to attract even the most fringe member of Twins Territory. With that, the Twins are excited to announce that they will be opening MLB’s first Ketamine Therapy Clinic at Target Field. The facility, aptly named ꓘ-Hole, will begin serving customers on May 1 as the club faces the last season’s AL Pennant-winning Toronto Blue Jays. “We’re really excited about this new, innovative endeavor we will be taking on as an organization.” Said Pohlad. “We understand that fans are reluctant to engage with the on-field product. Still, I really want this organization to become trailblazers in the baseball viewing experience, and I think this is just the start.”

 

Fans will have the option of entering a three-inning, six-inning, or full-game treatment, with prices varying by length. According to Pohlad, three innings will cost $250, six will cost $500, and a full-game K-Hole will hover between $1,000-$1,200. ꓘ-Hole will reside in center field directly below the Delta Sky360 Suite and above the batter’s eye. Customers will have the opportunity to be propped up vertically to view the game through a glass window while receiving ketamine. Yet, Twins Radio’s Dan Gladden, who received the first ketamine treatment this weekend, said fans won’t need to worry about watching the game.

 

“Yeah, I had no idea what the hell was going on.” Said Gladden. “One second, I’m there alongside Kris (Attebery) talking about my daughter, then the next I’m floating through the Spirit World speaking fluent Esperanto.” He Professed. “It was an experience, but I loved it. I think fans are going to love it, too.” Gladden was correct as fans shared a similar sentiment to the World Series-winning outfielder.

 

“The Twins are offering ketamine!?” Asked Matthew Eversole, a 26-year-old lifelong Twins fan from Lanesboro. “Like actually?” He stunningly stammered. “I mean, I have a hard time rationalizing $12 for a Kramarczuk’s sausage, but I’d for sure shell out $200 to be in a three-inning k-hole.” Other fans shared a similar sentiment. “I haven’t really wanted to go to the stadium this season.” Stated Michelle Lindell, a small business owner from Mankato. “The team has been bad the past two seasons and the continued payroll cuts are really kicking the fanbase while they’re down. I don't want to watch the actual game on the field.” They continued. “But I’d definitely pay $1,000 for a nine-inning-long ketamine experience. That’s probably the best deal in Hennepin County. Wait, do we get to stay in the k-hole if the game goes to extras?”

 

Pohlad declined to comment. The new Twins Chief Executive finished, “We want fans to enjoy their experience at Target Field, even if they aren’t aware that they are at a Twins game. Luckily, our state-of-the-art ketamine therapy center can provide that.” Stay tuned to Twins Daily for developments on Pohlad and the Twins' innovative approach toward changing the ballpark experience at Target Field. Until then, inform us of your experience at ꓘ-Hole and if you think it’s a worthwhile deal!

View full article