Souhan hit pieces

[DaveW]

Posted this over in the WildExtra forum, but figured we could start a thread here too about Souhan and his lame/cheap/bullplop hit pieces. This one features a few random jabs at Mauer to for good measure. My response line by line are in Bold below (homage to firejoemorgan.com RIP)

 

Zach Parise has played so poorly and sulked so often over the last couple of months that the Wild bosses may have to ponder the previously unthinkable about their franchise player.

 

Oh boy, here we go. Already claiming he is sulking with no real basis, this should be fun...

 

They have to hope Parise is hurt.

 

So you are saying his poor play is probably due to him being hurt. Interesting, you could probably just end the article here....right?

 

Parise scored what would prove to be the deciding shootout goal on Saturday, but there are 10 games remaining in the season and a rival to catch to make the playoffs, and Parise can no longer afford to wait until the shootout to show up.

 

"Parise can no longer afford to wait until the shoot out to show up"- Taken directly from page 6 of the lazy hack sportswriter cliche booklet.

 

He earned a minus-one rating against Carolina, a bad road-weary team. He managed one shot and didn’t record a hit. He didn’t make his presence felt until the third.

 

Oh wow! Using +/- in a short sample size! Minus one, what horror! Maybe perhaps he is....wait for it....hurt?

 

He has scored two goals in the last 23 games. He has 19 on the season, putting him on pace for his lowest goal total in a full season since he was a rookie.

 

#justthefacts #Souhandoes2minutesof research

 

He has declined to fight his way to the front of the net and score on his signature tip-ins.

 

None of that is true, the tip in goals haven't come as much, but claiming he isn't fighting his way in front of the net and trying to contribute is just pure bullplop.

 

He has acted put-upon during recent postgame interviews, and on Saturday did not make himself available despite being requested by the Star Tribune.

 

Ok. Here we go. I'm going to repeat that bit one more time.

 

He has acted put-upon during recent postgame interviews, and on Saturday did not make himself available despite being requested by the Star Tribune.

 

Eureka!! Now we get to the real crux of the issue and the real reason why Souhan is writing this garbage. Parise has apparently not been enthused enough when talking to the media lately, and he hurt the poor Stribs feelings by not talking on Saturday to them. Poor, Poor Star Tribune Staff. So to get back at him I guess it's time for Souhan to act like a child and pen a lazy hit piece.

 

During his first three seasons with the Wild, Parise made himself one of the most endearing athletes in town. He played with abandon, practiced with passion, kept himself in excellent shape, provided visible leadership, scored big goals, played admirable defense and acted as much like a regular guy as anyone with a $98 million contract can.

The story of this disappointing season began with Parise bringing in Adam Oates to coach him on the power play, angering the team’s brain trust. Thursday night, he was one of many Wild players who made little effort while giving up seven goals to a punchless New Jersey team. Saturday, Parise was invisible for two periods before investing himself in the third period.

“I’m sure we’d like him to get more,” Wild interim coach John Torchetti said. “We’re winning. Now it’s time. If he starts putting the puck in, it will probably relieve tension on both sides for us.

“He’s a good player, good things will happen for him, just keep working hard. His game is coming now, he’s getting chances, so that’s a good sign.”

 

Yawn. "Parise used to be a swell guy, then he didn't answer our stupid questions once, now he is a jerk!"

 

Torchetti is offering an optimistic view of Parise because he needs him, as does the entire franchise. Parise is signed for nine more seasons after this one, and neither he nor the team seem happy about the direction they’re moving together.

 

Oh God, don't tell me you are going to make a terrible comparison to Mauer, please don't tell me you are going to do this Jim, it's so lazy and stupid, even for you!

 

The Wild bosses were reportedly livid about his recruitment of Oates. Parise’s play is one of many reasons the team had to fire Mike Yeo, who in an interview with Wild beat writers painted an unflattering picture of his dealings with Parise.

 

Phew, I thought he was going to bring in his other favorite punching bag Mauer for a pointless comparison. Oh, just bringing up the Oates thing for the 10,000th time, haven't heard this one before.

 

Parise is 31. He is either in decline or injured.

 

So you are saying he most likely is injured. Ok cool, not sure why you needed this many words to conclude this, but I guess those 2,000 papers won't sell themselves!

 

The Wild have to hope it’s the latter. The former would leave owner Craig Leipold a mediocre roster filled with bad contracts and disappointing youngsters, courtesy of GM Chuck Fletcher.

 

So if Parise is declining, then suddenly the roster is full of bad contracts and disappointing youngsters? Does that mean if he is just hurt then the roster isn't full of bad contracts and the youngsters aren't disappointing? It could be just me, but Nino and Haula haven't been disappointing since Yeo left town....hmmm......

 

Parise recently missed two games because of an upper-body injury, although the team now says he is healthy. Saturday, he looked tentative for two periods, but was able to skate with speed and get to the front of the net later in the game. He did look like he was avoiding contact along the boards, but so were many of his ­teammates.

 

So you are saying that it is highly likely he is still injured? Ok. You have said that 3 or 4 times now, so again this seems probably the most likely scenario, no?

 

Minnesotans have learned to regret large sports contracts, particularly the one signed by Parise’s friend Joe Mauer.

 

Oh God Damnit, you just couldn't resist, could you Jim? I figured even you weren't this lazy of a hack!

 

Mauer signed a massive deal at a moment of extreme negotiating leverage and quickly became a symbol of everything that is wrong with the Minnesota Twins and guaranteed money.

 

Yes, shame on Mauer for negotiating a deal to maximize his value when he was reaching his peak. How DARE he take away money from the Pohlads. Also, Souhan should take note that ALL money in MLB is essentially guaranteed.

 

Parise was supposed to be different, a star with a grinder’s ­mentality.

 

Southan can't resist another jab at Mauer, who clearly doesn't have a "grinder's mentality" whatever the hell that means. Oh also let me take time to point out that Souhan is basically crapping all over Mauer, a guy who has had numerous concussions that have lead to his stuggles the past two years. Pretty cool to fault a guy for concussions in the year 2016. That's a stupid take that should have retired along with Sid a decade ago (at least). Oh well, surely this will be Souhan's last dig at Mauer in an article about Hockey.

 

This season, he has performed poorly, gotten one coach fired, and begun to duck interviews or conduct them as if his time is too valuable to spend discussing the state of his hometown team.

 

Poorly may be a bit strong, but whatever. The team losing a ton of games in a row got one coach (Yeo) fired, Parise didn't get him fired, but again whatever. Yeo playing Vanek on 3 v 3 and inability to change up the PP or give the youngsters a chance probably had a LITTLE to do with it as well, but what do I know? I don't work for a dying industry. He apparently ducked ONE, count it, ONE interview, perhaps he had a good reason to? Perhaps he was getting treatment for his injury that you have said repeatedly he probably has?

 

Parise may be hurt. That’s what the Wild has to hope. They can’t afford to have him turn into a sour Mauer.

 

Oh Christ, one more crappy shot at Mauer. Just fold the entire Star Tribune now, Sports "Journalism" is dead at that fish wrap factory.

[Badsmerf]

You care too much about what that guy writes.

[DaveW]

 

You care too much about what that guy writes.

Nah, this one just irked me quite a bit.

[Hosken Bombo Disco]

Parise doesn't want to hang around late and explain hockey to an opinion writer? Can't say I blame Parise.

 

As for catchers not having a "grinders mentality," I have long argued the Twins shouldn't have let Mauer use a barca lounger behind the plate all those years.

[DaveW]

 

Parise doesn't want to hang around late and explain hockey to an opinion writer? Can't say I blame Parise.

 

That's the absolute best part, that was after Saturday's game, a game where Parise had the GWG (albeit in a shoot out, but still, game winning goal!) As I mentioned briefly, perhaps the reason why he didn't do an interview is because he is still hurt and was getting some treatment, they were playing the Blackhawks, In Chicago about 24 hours later in a must win game.

 

Would you rather have your star player getting ready for a must win game? Or would you rather have him talking to a hack like Souhan for a few minutes after one game.....hmm