On behalf of screwballs and maniacs with nothing better to do

[formerly33]

Saint Paul, MN, November 2nd, 2015 – the following statement is being issued by Always33 on behalf of herself and all others similarly situated:

 

I hereby announce my resolution to bring legal charges against Major League Baseball for the deliberate advertisement and management of a commodity known to cause extreme mental trauma and trigger depression in certain unsuspecting individuals here represented by myself and the Twins Daily community. Furthermore, the aforementioned corporation has used their enterprise to promote and market an unauthorized product of their own invention that induces insomnia, obsessive compulsiveness, and other undesirable mental conditions due to the high rate of addiction among targeted victims.

 

Any objection to or further discussion of any aspect of this notice must be filed in the comment section below no later than February 20th, 2016.