Vanimal46

Well LaBombo the games going on and the hot take level is too low right now.

Whine Line regulars role call: mike, diehard, Jdude, BARK, are you here?

8/1/1990 looks pretty similar to 9/1/1990 after a couple of mimosas!

Get ready to blast off with me Craig. I'm going to show you a whole new universe you've never seen before. The universe of SCORCHING hot Twins Takes.

North, this is a great question in the spirit of fair food. I whole heartedly agree that forks are useful utensils. Dare I say they are under rated? You could find food at the state fair that requires forks. The problem with that is the act requires 2 free hands for proper holding and eating of the food. Which leaves no free hands to hold beer. With food on a stick, you can prioritize your life better. Food in one hand, beer in the other. It's the best of both worlds!

You're kidding me! I really thought I cracked that code.... long dreads doesn't equal meat balls thrown down the pipe?

ANNND Welcome! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line, GAME THREAD edition. I am your host for the next 2 days, Vanimal. Isn't it amazing how similar the Twins, and the TD owners operate? I mean, a CRUCIAL series against a 1st place Astros team, and they trust a ROOKIE to do game threads?! I'm more nervous than Tyler Duffey against the Blue Jays... For those who aren't familiar with the program, I'm just your standard radio host for Minnesota Twins news, with a few weird quirks... For one, I've been recorded (Truman Show style) by Chief and diehard. How they got access to my apartment, car, and office is still Mind.Boggling. I was also duped by a Nigerian Prince, who I thought was Prince the Purple Rain MAGICIAN, and all of my money is gone. And finally, I am lead investigative reporter for Moderator-gate 2015. Now before we start having fun with SCORCHING hot Twins takes, we need to get some garbage out of the way like lineups and stuff. I personally have no interest, so I'm letting my intern get his first crack at talking on the big stage while I prepare a Mimosa. Intern, take it away....... Umm hi? The weather's going to be nice. Sunny. 79 degrees. TWINS Lineup: 2B: Brian Dozier SS: Eduardo Escobar 1B: Joe Mauer DH: Miguel Sano 3B: Trevor Plouffe LF: Eddie Rosario RF: Torii Hunter C: Kurt Suzuki CF: Byron Buxton P - Mike Pelfrey ® 72 overall on MLB the Show! ASTROS Lineup: 2B: Jose Altuve SS: Marwin Gonzalez DH: Evan Gattis RF: Colby Rasmus CF: Carlos Gomez 3B: Jed Lowrie 1B: Luis Valbuena C: Hank Conger LF: Jake Marisnick P - Mike Fiers ® He just came off a no-hitter! And that's why we pay the intern the BIG bucks! And now, let's move on to our HOT Takes of the day: - Byron Buxton's struggles: since his last recall, he's slashed 237/.256/.289 over the last week.It's quite difficult to keep track of all the hot takes out there with Buxton. Is he really that good? Should we have traded him away? Will be be a AAA player forever? I'm hear to tell you a different solution. Something that only DEEP insiders in the MLB know..... The batter walk-up song is KEY for a player's success. Look at Josh Reddick as an example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwWBVm5wmL0 Buxton needs a new walk-up song to feel SEXY, confident, and hit SEXY HR's. - Ervin Santana's struggles. How can we pinpoint where his struggles are coming from? So many hot takes out there... he's just not the same pitcher.... he's a PED user..... he's old.... forget all of that. The biggest difference between his best year as a pitcher and this year? HIS HAIR. Take a look for yourself. The first picture is when he was with the Royals: http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Kansas+City+Royals+Photo+Day+CQ9yYRkXLhtl.jpg VERY Manageable, short dreadlocks. Compared to today: http://static.foxsports.com/fe/images/MLB/Headshots/190x231/7547.jpg Dreads down to his shoulders!! We've gone through all other alternatives as to why Ervin's not good this year. Could it be as simple as getting a HAIRCUT? - Happy birthday Kennys! He turns 25 on September 1st, but ALL people in the mid-20's celebrate their birthdays on the weekends. Now I'm sure you're thinking, Vanimal, Vargas isn't on the 25 man roster. You may be right, but he still wants to hang out with his friends. And who on the Twins has spent the most time with him? MIGUEL SANO! Could that be why he had the day off yesterday?? Too much fun at Bar Louie? - The Great MN State Get-Together! If I were in Minnesota instead of Texas, you would be hearing all of this LIVE near a State Fair trash can in an inaugural Twins Whine Line LIVE edition. Instead, now all I can do is wait for the TEXAS State Fair, and see pictures of the NEW FOOD available up north. If I were up there, I would be crushing Maple Bacon funnel cake, Limerick Stix, Smokey's Breakfast Burger, along with the standard fair grub Pronto Pups, Cheese Curds, and SWEET MARTHA'S cookies... Keep us all informed of your state fair grub experience!!

Fargo Season 1 on FX was just added to Hulu today or yesterday. That'll be some good binge watching in between the Astros series

Sorry loyal whiners for the short show... One cocktail turned into one more; And, well, I'll let your imagination take over from there. Could there be a Ms. Vanimal who will contribute to future shows? Tune in to the next episode of Minnesota Twins Whine Line to find out!

Maybe I AM the real Vanimal. Bring out the radar gun and let's find out!!

J! Dude! Another brilliant question that I can really dig DEEP to find the right answer. Whatever your magic eight ball drinks, I want some of that to be that ON POINT. I believe the Yankees are going to crash and burn the rest of the way, and our favorite team will jump up over everyone to be the #1 WC! Think about this Jdude... the combined age of the current Yankees roster is 742 years old!! That's a ton of old, rickety bones just waiting to break down. As far as we know, the Yankees do not employ robots, so their age is BOUND to catch up to them sooner than later.

Mike, it sounds like you're in quite a pickle tonight... but I think I know a good way around it. What I would do is get a front row seat to the show, so your friends know you're there. DURING the show, you can hold the phone in front of your face, giving the illusion that you're recording their show, and looking like a really great friend. Little do they know, you're watching the Twins game on the mlb.tv app, so you can kill 2 birds with 1 stone! If they come up after the show and ask to see the video you were recording, let them know your phone is dead. And tomorrow, call them, acting VERY distraught, because the video was somehow deleted from your phone! If the game is close, then you can always pull an Irish exit and go to the next bar showing the game on TV!

ANNND Welcome back! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line. This will be the final show until the GAME THREAD debut on Saturday and Sunday. Mark your calendars, I'm going to need help from my regulars! What's on your minds today? Berrios? He's pretty good. Playoffs? PLAYOFFS?! The threads are HEATING UP, but nothing can top the hot sports takes on this show. The phone lines are wide open. I'm about to enjoy a cocktail and wait for the magic to happen.

If Berrios gets the call up, I would go with the element of surprise and make him the starter. Hope he can go 5-6 innings, and play matchups the rest of the way. Every pitcher is available for that game, including starters coming out of the pen.

2 bb/9 seems reasonable to me, but your prerogative on that. Can't comment on his pitch selection because I haven't seen him pitch... Can we stop using Aaron Hicks as a benchmark of what could happen to upcoming prospects?? You say Aaron Hicks...... I say Miguel Sano......

Touché I forgot about Cotts.

Care to elaborate further on your stance that Berrios isn't ready?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but i think there's an open spot already when the Twins DFA'd Fryer...

Is He Ready? Yep. He's been ready for a couple of months now IMO. He's done nothing but dominate at every level. Not sure what else is left to check off the list for him in AAA....

You're in god's country up there. Beautiful during the summer! My dad and I would take an annual summer fishing trip to Eagle's Nest Resort for some of the best walleye, pike, and bass fishing I've ever experienced!

Have no fear ChiTown, I'm up for the Astros series. A Whine Line debut on the big stage in a crucial series? Clear the cache now, because TD's going to explode!

That is ohh so delicious always!! Love it!

I know how we can get him here. It's not something we can just piece together though.. We need some one who can play the saxophone, and someone else to sing. Next, start playing George Michael - Careless Whisper. Bark only answers to seduction techniques...

If only Whine Line regular Bark was here to photoshop Miguel's face on that body... We deserve a realistic picture!

What would a mini Sano look like? 4 foot 175 lbs of rock solid man?