So I'm a little cranky tonight. My wife and I were coming home from a nice dinner, and I got pulled over. The nice officer said he was giving me two tickets! One for speeding, one for not having my seat belt on. "But Officer," I said. "I had my seat belt on! Ask Mrs Chief!" "Is that right, ma'am?" he asked Mrs Chief. "Well, sir, one thing I've learned over the years is never to argue with my husband when he's been drinking."