So I bought a parrot the other day, brought it home, and the thing won't stop swearing. No matter what I try, everything the stupid bird says includes at least one of the 7 words you can't say on TV. I threatened the thing..."one more time, and I'm sticking you in the freezer." Sure enough, the bird mouths off, and swears at me in doing so. I put him in the freezer, and went back ten minutes later. "You win, mister. I'll never swear again," he says. "But please, you gotta tell me...what'd that turkey do?