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USAFChief

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Everything posted by USAFChief

  1. I went to a dinner of cannibals, and this one inconsiderate dude was late. We gave him the cold shoulder.
  2. http://previews.123rf.com/images/tanik/tanik1106/tanik110600010/9716209-Lustige-Clowns-Vector-Kunst-Illustration-auf-einem-wei-en-Hintergrund--Lizenzfreie-Bilder.jpg Turns out it's "Twins Infield Poster" giveaway day today.
  3. We were tied 4-4 yesterday too, right? We got this.
  4. http://absfreepic.com/absolutely_free_photos/small_photos/child-holding-hands-over-eyes-3166x2119_20180.jpg 8th inning in progress.
  5. Lawyer gets pulled over for failure to stop. Thinks he's smarter than this hick cop, starts gettin' all lawyerly. "I slowed down, that's just like stopping," said the lawyer. "License and registration please," said the cop. "See...you don't know the legal difference. If you can show me the difference between slowing down and stopping, I'll let you give me a ticket." So the cop pulls out his nightstick and starts beating the crap out of the lawyer. After a while he asks "Should I slow down, or should I stop?"
  6. The "when is Father's Day" memo?
  7. True, but all Twins fans know it can be multiplied.
  8. Carnac: Alien vs Predator Ed: blah blah Carnac: blah blah Ed: blah blah blah ... Alien. Versus. Predator. //pm me for the punch line.//
  9. Well, lookee here...Molitor going all 21st century statheady, bringing in his closer in a "fireman" role to squelch a rally in the 7th. ... Wait, what? ... Never mind.
  10. I bought Mrs Chief a tee shirt with "Proud Nudist" printed on the front. She hasn't worn it yet.
  11. I was in a bar last night, and a rather shady looking woman came up to me and offered to do "anything" for $200. So I put two crisp hundred dollar bills on the bar and said, "Paint my house."
  12. Yeah, but then Porcino is such a nobody.
  13. Wasn't he the guy in charge of Faber College?
  14. Sheesh, you guys and your fancy beers. I wish I could afford the good stuff.
  15. Carnac: "Cyclone." Ed: "Cyclone." //pause, knowing snickers// Carnac: "What do you call a replica of Cy?"
  16. http://www.seytlines.com/files/2014/12/carnacthemagnificent.jpg
  17. Yet no gun rights advocate EVER quotes the entire amendment. Regardless, just because it's an amendment to the constitution doesn't make in immune to interpretation (unless you hold that the 2nd Amendment means it should be legal for private citizens to own working tanks, anti aircraft missiles, and tactical nukes), nor does it mean it couldn't be changed. But we can't even have reasonable discussion, because gun rights advocates won't even listen to arguments for bans against weapons designed to kill humans, 25 round clips, anti-personnel rounds, etc etc etc. So I say screw em. Ban private ownership of weapons. It works in other countries.
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