So my friend, who's 85, told me the other day he was getting married. "WHAT??!" I exclaimed. "You're getting married?" "Yup," he said. "And get this...she's 18 and pregnant. I have to get married." I just looked at him, sort of...mouth agape. "Listen. Let me tell you a story. I went bear hunting a couple months ago. Forgot my rifle, took my umbrella instead. First morning, a big grizzly is 50 ft away...I raise my umbrella, point, pull the 'trigger' and the bear drops dead." "That's impossible," said my friend. "Someone else had to have shot that bear. " "Yeah," I said. "Think about that."