I guess I don't understand why a person would fear those things (independence, not needing them) unless it's because they look at that person as their property. If you view your SO as an equal person, those are attributes you actually seek out. I've witnessed a lot of men who are extremely verbally abusive towards their wife/girlfriend and they had a lot of variables. But the one thing that they always had in common, every time, was that the abuser spoke to and about the victim as though they viewed them as property. So yeah that is anecdotal, but that is what I've witnessed so that is why I've formed the opinions that I have. The reason I translate that into thinking they can't (most of the time) be rehabilitated is because if you view something as your property, you are never going to have empathy towards them, never. As, I said before, they may "fake it", because they don't want to get into trouble, or because they don't want friends or family to know about it, or whatever the reason. But I'm not sure empathy is something that can be taught to an adult. You either have it or you don't. Regarding the juvenile justice system, I should have been more specific. Their credence is rehabilitation over punishment, though you are right that isn't always the case in practice.