Riverbrian

I'm starting to think that the catcher McCann has a finger injury or something that causes him to put down two fingers all the time. Lots of curves from Morton.

Nothing like staring at blank page with no plan whatsoever.

DOZIER

I agree completely

The way are bullpen has been at times. They have to

Does Forbes have anything on Seth Stohs?

Break time is over… back to work everyone because we got to make the donuts and these donuts won’t make themselves. The Twins will all meet up in Houston to take on the mighty Astros for a 3-game series and that can be a bit of a challenge when you consider that the Astros win almost every game they play. What do we hope for in the 2nd half of the season? Myself personally… I want donuts. I want the pitching staff and defense to hang as many donuts on the scoreboard as possible. Just regular cake donuts each inning is what I’m talking about. An occasional Long John is tolerable but not too many. There are no two- or three- or four-shaped donuts that I’m aware of… I’m good with the donuts thing. Here are some things to think about: 1. Houston – When you combine nearby oil and a good port, a connoisseur will probably notice and spit it back into the glass. Every sommelier will also tell that the combination also creates a boomtown and this boomtown is still booming. Demographers have said that Houston will surpass Chicago shortly and become the 3rd largest city in the United States and maybe then… Houston will finally get a hockey team. Houston city planners are obviously zoned out because the city doesn’t have any zoning laws and this means a Dunkin Donuts can be built right next to your house or you a factory next to a church or train tracks above a left field wall or a hill with a flag pole next to center. 2. Our Twins – All-Star Break Math for You. The left hand column is bigger than the right hand column with a record of 45-43. The Twins are in 2nd place in the AL Central, 2.5 games behind the Indians and currently just one game out of the Wild Card behind the Yankees and Rays. The Twins are 18th in runs scored and 28th in runs allowed. As it stands… the Twins will draft 20th next year while the Cubs draft 18th. Jim Pohlad is worth $3.6 billion and Seth Stohs is worth a little less than that. Alright… obviously… I can’t verify the previous sentence with complete certainty. 3. The Astros – How good have the Astros been this year? Here comes the perspective… last year the Cubs won 103 games with a .640 winning percentage. The Astros right now have a .674 winning percentage so they have been better. Yeah… I know… stats can be twisted into anything. OK… how 'bout this… last year the Twins won 59 games and the Astros have already won 60 this year. However… as good as the Astros have been… they do not have the best record in MLB, because that distinction belongs to the Dodgers who have been buoyed by getting rid of Jose DeLeon. It is rough getting the Astros when you are fighting for a playoff spot in July but it could be worse. Just imagine, hypothetically, if we had to face the Dodgers in July as well… Uff Da. Sometimes hypothetical situations can be quite scary with an active imagination. We should probably do without hypothetical situations to keep things calm so I’ll just imagine a world with no hypothetical situations. 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation: McCarthy: So, the Cubs picked up Quintana from the White Sox. How do you feel about that, Joe? Maddon: I am head over heels happy about it. Montana: Umm… everybody’s head is over their heels. That is normal human… umm… stuff. Maddon: OK… I’m just happy then. McCarthy: Congratulations, Joe… we should go celebrate. Let’s try that new Italian place. Mauer: No, no, no… I’m not paying again. I always pay when we go someplace. Montana: We’ll go Dutch. Maddon: That’ll work. Mauer: No, no, no… I’m not wearing those uncomfortable wooden shoes again. McCarthy: If you don’t wear the shoes… we can’t go Dutch. Mauer: All right… damn it… I’ll pay. 5. Exception to the rule – I really don’t know what to do with this new information I just read about. Scientists in New Mexico have discovered that there is an exception to the rule that states that there are exceptions to every rule. ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Brian Dozier 2B Zack Granite LF Miguel Sano 3B Max Kepler RF Robbie Grossman DH Kennys Vargas 1B Jorge Polanco SS Jason Castro C Byron Buxton CF Jose Berrios P ASTROS George Springer CF Jose Altuve 2B Josh Reddick RF Carlos Correa SS Brian McCann C Carlos Beltran DH Yulieski Gurriel 1B Marwin Gonzalez LF Alex Bregman 3B Charlie Morton P Weather: 89 deg F with 72% humidity = a heat index of 97. Yuck. But that's better than the current 100 with 73% humidity = a heat index of 119. Double yuck. Partly cloudy with a breeze at 8mph from the SSE. Play ball and keep hydrated!! Go Twins! Click here to view the article

Sano just showed us how the Twins can reach the World Series this year. Win a non eventful matchup against a Moustakas type team in round one. Face and beat a Sanchez type team like that just upset the mighty Stanton(Astros) type team. And... And... Sano did it without decent pitching. See Everyone... Anything is possible in Baseball!!!

If in contention. Kintzler is the only player I would move.

Tom, These recaps are fantastic. A well deserved pat on the back. Thank You

If you don't know the Orioles Number Ask the Twins cuz they got it.

I got home just in time to type OWL By Far My Favorite Bird is the Great Horned Owl. Here's my Ranking 1. Great Horned Owl 2. Big Bird 3. Any Parrot that can say the right thing according to the context.

Someone has to It's not going to sit there unclimbed.

I remember having nothing to remember

The Birds are coming to town for a 4-game series before 23 players get an all-star break, starting Monday. Bird nicknames are really quite popular: the Orioles, Cardinals and Jays in baseball, the Penguins and Ducks in hockey, Hawks in basketball, and the Cardinals, Eagles, Ravens, Falcons and Seahawks in football. Plus... numerous college teams with bird nicknames. However… not all bird species are represented in the world of sports. To my knowledge there are no teams named after the Olive-sided flycatcher and, in my opinion, that is an absolute shame; clearly a baseball oversight. I don’t believe any team is named after the bird of paradise either but this may be due to the dangers of the bird flying up your nose. Here are some things to think about: 1. Fargo – Fargo is a city in southeastern North Dakota, population of 120,000. The Coen brothers didn’t help matters, but for clarification… Fargo does have a few people who end sentences with “there” or “then” and a few people who say “You Betcha” “Don’tcha” “Didya” “Darn Tootin” “It could be Worse” and “Holy Buckets” but those are only the people who can communicate effectively in Fargo. The rest primarily use grunts and hand signals to communicate, for example, when they want to turn right… they stick out their left hand… and then they turn left. I know it sounds crazy but it seems to work for them. 2. Our Twins – The Twins haven’t had a day off in a while. Before they hit the All-Star break… it will be 21 games in 20 straight days. According to the Department of Labor… an employer who requires or permits an employee to work overtime is generally required to pay the employee premium pay for such overtime work… at least one and one-half times their regular rates of pay. As a result… the Twins will have to cut Joe Mauer to budget the overage caused by the excessive overtime. Joe hasn’t been informed of this yet so please keep it to yourself. 3. The Orioles – We did play these guys in Baltimore earlier this season and we swept them at home. It was sarcastically nice that Zach Britton has been removed from the disabled list just in time to face us but we could always hope that he is still somewhat injured. No matter what you think of the Orioles… you can’t deny that they hit the long ball. If you look at the roster construction you’d assume that this was done intentionally. You don’t sign Chris Davis and Mark Trumbo while attempting to build a team full of speed and defense. 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation: Montana: Hey, guys… give me a beer. It’s been a long day at the courthouse. McCarthy: Are you getting sued by the Bengals again? Montana: No… the Statue of Limitations is up. Maddon: Statute… that's statute of limitations… not statue of limitations. Montana: No… I meant statue… it's up now. The pigeons seem to love it. Mauer: Why were you at the courthouse? Montana: Jury duty. Maddon: What’s the case about? Montana: I can’t discuss it… I was sworn to secrecy. McCarthy: He can’t discuss the case. Montana: Yeah, they really swear at you… a steady stream of four-letter words shouted at you until you promise not to discuss the case. McCarthy: Jurors have to be sworn in… standard procedure in a court of law. Witnesses must be sworn in… to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Maddon: And lawyers… they need to be sworn in as well? McCarthy: Not lawyers… they can lie all they want… it's cool. 5. It Goes Without Saying – My wife pulled that line out last night. She said, “It goes without saying… you will have to cancel that fishing trip this weekend because Aunt Gladys is coming to town." She doesn’t have to say it… if it goes without saying and if she doesn’t say it… like she shouldn’t because it goes without saying… well… then… it goes without saying that I will the miss the visit by Aunt Gladys because I will be fishing. Click here to view the article

West Coast teams are tough to stay awake for

if Mejia can be decent he'd become a third decent guy in the rotation. That will allow me to focus on the bullpen as the item remaining in the "why didn't you do something about it" box.

The Same

Aaron Judge: I hope you know... You are going to look very short in this photo and people are going to comment on it. Jose Altuve: It's Ok... I'm used to being Judged. http://www.mlb.com/assets/images/6/6/8/240077668/cuts/original_u1uc9efq_n2r3henc.jpg

http://i2.cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/141113124808-01-shortest-tallest-man-horizontal-large-gallery.jpg

I'm a legit 5-9 I've had conversations with actual college basketball players and looked them in the eye while holding a program that lists them as 6-1.

A clear example of two wrongs don't make a right.

Useless Home Runs are still more useful than this http://www.funnysigns.net/files/sign-not-in-use.jpg