Riverbrian

It's more accurate to call Chicago the Woodwindy City.

The Twins home stand continues as the White Sox roll into town. We will be asking Ervin Santana to be a stopper after a really rough weekend against the Indians. All I wanna say is that I love cold chicken. Don’t get me wrong… I love chicken cooked and freshly served but I actually prefer it as a leftover straight out of the fridge. We don’t need to think about the Indians right now. We can forget about them and focus on the White Sox... until Friday! Revenge is dish best served cold… Cold Winner Winner Chicken Dinner will be alright with me. Here are some things to think about: 1. Walnut Grove – This is the town of Ma and Pa, Half Pint and the one who went blind and was never loved enough to get a nickname. Farmers in this area are all tan and often work shirtless with suspenders holding their pants up. Walnut Grove is also the only area of Minnesota where the landscape looks exactly like California. You get a clear view of the Santa Susana Mountains off in the distance. As for the Walnuts… they are incredible but a completely different show on CBS. 2. Our Twins – There are 95 games left to play… Brunnhilde has not sung yet. I know many are waiting for the flatline because the original diagnosis was dire. If you listen close… you can still hear the beep beep beep of the monitor. Shh… quiet… listen to it… beep beep beep beep. The Twins are still alive… the beeps confirm that they are still alive. It started faintly and is getting stronger with each beep… It has almost the same sound of a... (Pause)… never mind… it’s a garbage truck backing up. 3. The White Sox – If the season ended today… the Cubs would not be in the playoffs. Same goes for the White Sox… and… and… the Bears… let’s not forget to count the Bears out early. If it wasn’t for the Blues Brothers and Italian beef and ChiTownTwinsFan… do we really need Chicago? 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation Maddon: Some interesting stuff in here. Mauer: Yeah it’s a pretty cool shop. I never thought I’d be interested in Antiques. Montana: Hey, Joe… what’d ya think of this one? McCarthy: We had that exact dining room table back when I was a young lad. Mauer: You had this exact one? McCarthy: Yep… see these notches in the side? I carved them myself, trying to whittle the table into a pointy stick. Maddon: What are the odds of that? Of all the antique shops… in all the world… that we could walk in to… here it is… your childhood table. Mauer: I would think the odds of walking into any antique shop would be high enough by itself. Montana: I didn’t know the McCarthy family was into antiques. Maddon: They may not have been called antiques back then. Mauer: What were they called? Maddon: Tables. McCarthy: I want this table back… the memories… this is my past. This table is priceless. I got to have this table. Help me get it out to the truck… everyone grab a side… let’s carry it out. Mauer: Shouldn’t you pay for it first. McCarthy: No need to pay… like I said… it’s priceless. 5. Vacuum - My wife said that we need a new vacuum… I asked her why and she said that the old vacuum sucks. I told her that we should wait until it doesn’t. ____________________ Lineups: WHITE SOX Adam Engel CF Melky Cabrera LF Jose Abreu 1B Todd Frazier 3B Avisail Garcia RF Matt Davidson DH Tim Anderson SS Kevan Smith C Yolmer Sanchez 2B Derek Holland P TWINS Brian Dozier 2B Eduardo Escobar SS Miguel Sano 3B Robbie Grossman RF Joe Mauer 1B Kennys Vargas DH Eddie Rosario LF Byron Buxton CF Jason Castro C Ervin Santana P Weather: 75 deg, partly cloudy to clearing, no real chance of rain tonight Play ball! Click here to view the article

Plenty of season left. Unfortunate weekend but plenty of season left. I will say this tho. I've never been in favor of an automated strike zone until today. If an ump can miss a strike as badly as the one that was called on Escobar in the 9th. Automate it!!!

In Germany... Low and Away is Austria.

Perfect I'm glad you understand.

We have never allowed this on game threads. Start a new topic in the forums and carry on this discussion elsewhere.

We have never allowed this stuff on game threads. Start a new topic and carry on this discussion elsewhere.

We have never allowed this on game threads. Start a new topic in the forums and carry on this discussion elsewhere.

May she rest in peace

I've never been to Nicollet Island. I wouldn't mind checking it out.

I feel bad for Turley. Hopes and Dreams... Cup of coffee.. All that stuff. At least he can tell his grandchildren he had a couple of starts. Of course his Grandchildren won't understand what baseball was while living on Mars.

Cough and Hack I can live with. No Thud Please... I like having you around.

His name didn't get put into one of those slots.

I have been diagnosed as just plain irregular.

What I love about baseball is that it never goes like it is supposed to. I've seen Aces face each other and the final score was 10-8. I've seen two starters with 6 plus ERA square off in a 2-1 final. I've seen the Twins bench Sano and score 20 runs. I've seen a ground ball go through Buckner's legs... I've seen Bartman... I've seen Randy Johnson Kill a Bird... I've seen a ball player hit the ball for the first time in his life and then run directly to third because he had never hit the ball before and wasn't sure what direction. (He was safe at third but unfortunately out at first.) I love baseball.

I believe it works best if we demoralize them by scoring 10 in the first inning.

Yes... Once they come through Grand Forks we claim them. Toews is ours... You can't have him back.

Alright… Here come a bunch of TWO’s. TWO wins and TWO losses against the Mariners and a TWO game lead over the Indians. The Twins and Indians will play TWO games on Saturday and if that is not strange enough… they will play TWO Games on Friday and Sunday combined. Wait… it doesn’t stop there… the Twins have TWO starting pitchers that they can count on and neither of them will pitch against the Indians. The Twins also have TWO catchers on the roster and each player has two kidneys. (I can’t prove that last one… it is an assumption). Here are some things to think about: 1. Grand Forks – A city of around 53,000 people... Grand Forks, North Dakota is a suburb of East Grand Forks, Minnesota. The city got its name by popular vote. A list of three possible city names was created after much deliberation, with the majority of voters favoring Grand Forks. The other choices for consideration were Wonderful Knives and Fantastic Spoons. Grand Forks was where the block heater was invented. A man by the name of Andrew Freeman created it after discovering that his car wouldn’t start in subzero temperatures. His invention solved that problem but it failed to solve the problem that people still didn’t want to go anywhere in subzero temperatures even if the car was now able to take them somewhere. Grand Forks produced a few famous people… the Zen Master Phil Jackson, former Arizona basketball coach Lute Olson, many NHL Hockey players and noted Twins Fan Riverbrian. 2. Our Twins – There has been a slight shift in who we rely on lately. Joe Mauer, Miguel Sano and Max Kepler have been slumping lately but it hasn’t sunk the Twins because Eduardo Escobar, Byron Buxton and Eddie Rosario have risen up to replace their production and the Twins haven’t missed a beat as they have maintained their lead in the AL Central. This is a big series against the Indians… 4 games in 3 days and a 2 game difference in a battle for 1 place on top of the Central. That was a countdown… and something somewhere… just exploded… I don’t know what or where… but it happened. 3. The Indians – It’s called a World Series hangover and the Indians are possibly suffering from it. Here’s how it works… teams that reach the World Series expend so much energy getting there that they have nothing left for the following season. It happened to the Twins in 1992 and every subsequent year after that. 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation Mauer: Here comes Joe… hey, Joe, we’ve been waiting for you. Montana: I am hungry McCarthy: What kind of sandwiches did you bring? Maddon: I brought… Ta Da… tuna fish! Mauer: Awesome… with those bits of celery? Chopped eggs? Maddon: Yep… with some lemon juice and relish mixed in. Montana: Tuna… fish? Why does 'tuna' get 'fish' after it? McCarthy: Because it is fish… pretty simple to explain. Montana: OK… I was hoping for a steak cow sandwich or a chicken bird sandwich… Am I saying those right? 5. Italian Hospitals – A friend of mine got injured pretty badly while visiting Rome. He’s okay and back home now but it was an interesting story that he told. For example… in a Roman hospital… they don’t use IV’s… They use 4’s. Lineups: CLEVELAND Jason Kipnis(L) 2B Daniel Robertson® LF Francisco Lindor(S) SS Edwin Encarnacion® DH Jose Ramirez(S) 3B Carlos Santana(S) 1B Yan Gomes® C Lonnie Chisenhall(L) RF Austin Jackson® CF Carlos Carrasco P TWINS Brian Dozier® 2B Robbie Grossman(S) DH Joe Mauer(L) 1B Miguel Sano® 3B Max Kepler(L) RF Jorge Polanco(S) SS Jason Castro(L) C Byron Buxton® CF Eddie Rosario(L) LF Nik Turley P Weather: I'm in the TC for 12 hours. What I am experiencing is warm, humid and gray. I don't think it'll pour game-postponing rain, doesn't feel like it, but it might intermittently sprinkle. Click here to view the article

Don't confuse majority opinion with individual opinion.

Drivelikejehu and Mr. Brooks and anyone who wants to get in on the discussion about the value of our opinions. STOP RIGHT NOW... This thread has been hi-jacked by that discussion long enough. If it doesn't stop... Infractions will be handed out and the thread will be locked.

Or maybe not Maybe it's strange that we don't struggle on the road.

Post of the night

It's a game thread. The only place on earth where we don't have to say "excuse me i'm about to change the subject".