Twins Video
1. In Search of the Holy Grail -- Go and tell Pohlad that we've been charged by Minnesotans with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night... he can join us in our quest for the World Series title. Turns out Pohlad wasn't very keen because he already has a couple. Is there someone else up there we can talk to?
2. Where'd You Get the Coconuts? -- You didn't just find them... they do not migrate and they can't be carried by a small bird. It's a question of ratios. When you look at the roster construction of the Minnesota Twins... Somebody from sabermetrics is just going to force us to get a real horse.
3. King of the Swamp -- When Terry Ryan came back... it was all swamp. Everyone said it was daft to build a castle on a swamp but it was built all the same. It sank into the swamp so he built a second one... that sank into the swamp... so he built a third... that burned down... fell over and sank into the swamp. But the 4th one stayed up... so Terry Ryan went and got... more swamp.
4. Excalibur -- I'm thinking about Monty Python and this lead me to think about Excalibur and this lead me to think about Shakopee and the roller coaster at Valley Fair. Baseball Seasons have often been compared to roller coasters. I've never screamed during a roller coaster ride. Yeah... there is a strange sensation that pulls on your body while the ride is in motion. It'll make you grit your teeth a little but I've never screamed. That's because I know that thousands... perhaps millions... have ridden this ride and survived to do it again if they wished. However... if the cars happen to go off the tracks mid-ride... I believe the screaming becomes a little more warranted and natural. If the cars go off the tracks... it would be classified as a Total System Failure.
5. Tis but a Scratch -- True Story -- Back in my high school days I was taking a girl out on a date to the movies. It was a nice summer night and there was also a party that all my friends were at. It was taking place at some gravel pit a couple of miles out of town. Before the movie I needed, or wanted, to stop by and do or say something with my friends... I don't remember what the need or want was but my date was from out of town and didn't know my friends and didn't want to go but I convinced her it was important and she was OK with it... (Fast Forward SFX). So she sat in the car while I talked with my friends for a moment... (Fast Forward SFX). I got done talking to my friends and started walking back to the car and I noticed my date just kind of looking out her passenger side window and not really paying attention. I also noticed that my driver's side passenger window was wide open and for some reason I put two and two together and thought it would be funny to run full speed at the car and jump through the passenger window to surprise her. I mean, think about it... all of us would have done the same thing in consideration of the circumstances... open window and all... (Fast Forward SFX). Everything was going as planned... I ran full speed... my date continued to watch out the opposite passenger side window. I jumped... I arrow-ed myself to fit the open window space. And... well... I may over jumped a little and over arrow-ed a bunch because my head struck the upper frame of the window FLUSH. This not only prevented me from flying through the open car window... it knocked me straight to the ground. And let me tell you this... head wounds bleed and they BLEED... a lot. I was laying on the ground instantly looking like Carrie at the prom. My date and friends were looking around for something to stop the bleeding or at least... I don't know... wipe the blood of my stunned face and clothes. It was a gravel pit... turns out that stuff isn't readily available... (Fast Forward SFX). Ended up returning to my house to bandage up and change clothes. Tis but a scratch... I had Suzuki like toughness... we went to the movies like we planned and my date went to the movies with a guy who had big white gause pad on his head and a pinkish hue to his face because you really need a lot of scrubbing to clean up a recently blood-soaked face. I was struck by the irony of the movie we attended being Superman III... Clark Kent... I am not. True Story
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Lineups:
ORIOLES
Joey Rickard(R ) LF
Manny Machado(R ) SS
Adam Jones(R ) CF
Chris Davis(L) 1B
Mark Trumbo(R ) RF
Matt Wieters(S) C
Pedro Alvarez(L) DH
Jonathan Schoop(R ) 2B
Ryan Flaherty(L) 3B
Tyler Wilson(R ) P
TWINS
Joe Mauer(L) 1B
Eduardo Nunez(R ) SS
Brian Dozier(R ) 2B
Trevor Plouffe(R ) 3B
Miguel Sano(R ) RF
Byung-ho Park(R ) DH
Oswaldo Arcia(L) LF
Kurt Suzuki(R ) C
Danny Santana(S) CF
Jose Berrios(R ) P
Game-time forecast: 62 deg F, cloudy with a 34% chance of rain, winds from the ESE at 16mph.
Go Twins! Please!
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