Twins Video
1. Hawaii – Perhaps the top vacation destination in the world, Hawaii is actually hundreds of islands all connected by water. The most populated island is Oahu and it was named after the noise that people make when they are in mid-air while jumping into a pool, or a similar noise that people make in mid-air while jumping into a giant vat of creamed corn. It is a 10-hour flight from Minneapolis to Honolulu and a 15 year walk.
2. Wisconsin Dells – Perhaps the 2nd most popular vacation destination in the world is located in south-central-ish Wisconsin. Tourists come to ride the ducks and enjoy the spectacular scenery along the way. The Ducks of the Dells and actual ducks are hard to tell apart but there are a couple ways that you can differentiate them. The Dell Ducks have tires… actual ducks don’t. Actual ducks will eat snails, worms, grass and weeds and the Dell Ducks have tires. The Dell Ducks can float in water and actual ducks eat snails, worms, grass and leaves. Typically, actual ducks don’t allow people to ride them but this isn’t always the case so you really can’t use that as a method to tell them apart.
3. Elbow Lake – Perhaps the 3rd most popular vacation destination in the world is one of the many 10,000 (really 20,000) lakes located within our Minnesota borders. This lake is unique because it is made entirely of elbows. A couple years ago tourism was threatened because of a severe outbreak of psoriasis, and the crisis was managed effectively with a clever use of long sleeves.
4. Belarus – Perhaps the 4th most popular vacation destination in the world is this little land locked gem located in Eastern Europe. Tourists started arriving in droves to sample the national dish, Draniki, which is a potato pancake that is impossible to make anywhere else because of a shortage of pans. While visiting… tourists are entertained by watching live corruption performances from politicians who openly engage in bribery, extortion, embezzlement and gombeenism in front of sold out audiences.
5. Chief’s House – Nobody knows why but the sudden interest in vacationing at Chief’s House in Arizona has caught the attention of Conde Nast and Wal-Mart Travel. Tourists come to raise dehydration levels, practice roadrunner catching and participate in cactus puncture wound contests; and when worn out by these activities, take turns sitting in Chief's Ekornes lounger at which point he completes the experience by running out of his house yelling 'GET OFF MY LAWN!' The economy in the area is booming from this influx of tourism and also from workers moving to the area looking for employment in advance of the soon-to-be-constructed massive wall promised by Trump.
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Lineups:
INDIANS
Carlos Santana (S) DH
Jason Kipnis (L) 2B
Francisco Lindor (S) SS
Mike Napoli [R) 1B
Jose Ramirez (S) 3B
Lonnie Chisenhall (L) RF
Yan Gomes [R) C
Tyler Naquin (L) CF
Rajai Davis [R) LF
Carlos Carrasco (R] P
TWINS
Eduardo Nunez [R) SS
Joe Mauer (L) 1B
Miguel Sano [R) 3B
Brian Dozier [R) 2B
Max Kepler (L) RF
Kennys Vargas (S) DH
Robbie Grossman (S) LF
Kurt Suzuki [R) C
Byron Buxton [R) CF
Ervin Santana (R] P
Game-time forecast: 74 deg F, partly cloudy, 23% chance of rain, winds at 4mph from the WSW.
Play ball! Go Twins!
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