Some Additional Ways to Enjoy Twins Games In a Rebulding Year

[Teflon]

• Rationalize that at least half of the players in the game are still of major-league quality unless the Royals are in town.
  

 

 

• Bring some additional friends to the game. (If the friends are Jack Daniels or Johnnie Walker, all the better.)
  

 

 

• Text the Twins’ in-game Twitter account to ask them why they are continuing to let TC Bear roam around the ballpark without any pants.
  

 

 

• See who can find the most look-alikes for famous persons’ heads in your bag of peanuts. (Richard Nixon doesn’t count as most peanuts already look like Nixon.)
  

 

 

• Take a walking tour of the Warehouse District to spot all the lamp post banners still featuring ex-Twins.
  

 

 

• Apply a new SABRmetric stat of your own making that rates Twins players on how well they “get after it.”
  

 

 

• Ask the nearby hottie in the Joe Mauer jersey if she realized there’s both a ME and U in Mauer.
  

 

 

• For early April games, bring a Lean Cuisine to cook on your head under one of the industrial heat lamps in the concourse.
  

[70charger]

Ask the nearby hottie in the Joe Mauer jersey if she realized there’s both a ME and U in Mauer.

 

Well done, sir.