Here are some chants for 5 players. I know Kubel and Cuddyer don't play for the team anymore, but Cuddyer will always be a Twin to me and Kubel's not that far removed. I mostly threw it in because I was chanting it last year and thought it was a fun one.

Denard Span

Spaaaaaan… There’s a reason you don’t play in Japaaaaaan… I assume it was a mostly logistical decision because Japanese work permits are notoriously difficult to procuuurrre…

Spaaaaaan… better than Staaaaaan… that is to say that Denard is both a better ballplayer and human being than my jerk of a stepfather Staaaaaan…

Jason Kubel

Kuuubeeel… You’re worth every Ruuubeeel… If we were to pay you in Russian currency that iiisss…

Michael Cuddyer

Cuuudddy… You’re my buuudddy… by that I mean that while we don’t know each other personally I am knowledgeable of intimate details of your life because I’m stalking you and think we would make good friiieeends…

Ryan Doumit

Doooumiiit… Not afraid to cooomiiit… To hitting balls that is… I have no idea about your personal life but I can only assume you have less relationship trouble than myseeelllf… Namely sub-conciously self-sabotaging relaaationshiiips…

Alexi Casilla

Casiiillaaa… You’re definitely not vaniiillaaa (pronounced vuh-knee-uh)…unlike my sex life which has definitely gotten more tame since my wife and I decided to have kiiiiiids…

This originally appeared on my Ich Bin Ein Berliner blog.