Vanimal46

Good lord. Albers already warming up in the 1st.

Who would have guessed a rookie making his first start could mow down our elite top of the order today?

Play Ball!

FTFY. He does reside in Arizona...

There's a reason you've survived this long. I would continue to do whatever Chief suggested.

How lucky are we to watch Schafer batting 2nd today? OHHH Boy!

Hot off the presses: New York Mets Lineup: 1. Alejandro De Aza (L) CF 2. T.J. Rivera ® 2B 3. Yoenis Cespedes ® LF 4. Michael Conforto (L) RF 5. Kelly Johnson (L) 3B 6. Travis d'Arnaud ® C 7. Lucas Duda (L) 1B 8. Matt Reynolds ® SS 9. Gabriel Ynoa ® P Minnesota Twins Lineup: 1. Brian Dozier ® 2B 2. Logan Schafer (L) RF 3. Jorge Polanco (S) SS 4. Kennys Vargas (S) 1B 5. Robbie Grossman (S) LF 6. Byron Buxton ® CF 7. James Beresford (L) 3B 8. John Ryan Murphy ® C 9. Kyle Gibson ® P

This is pretty typical for mine or RB's game threads!

Your avatar is PERFECT for the story!

I would say so. You were stealing drinks from the whiskey bottle in Chief's locker while they were in class!

ANND Welcome Back! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line on a Sunday. It's a bittersweet day... The last game thread of the year for ol' Vanimal. Thank you to everyone who has stuck it out this long. I certainly would have checked out in April if it weren't for this community. We've got a special story to share... A story we like to call "The Moderator Club". Before we dive into the story, let's get the weather and lineups out of the way. Partly cloudy skies and 80 degrees F at first pitch. Real Feel of 87 degrees, and heating up as we go along. Swirling winds from the SSW at 8 MPH. Minnesota Twins (55-94) P - Kyle Gibson ® - 8 IP 5 H 1 ER 4 K in a WINNING effort last start. New York Mets (79-69) P - Gabriel Ynoa ® - making his first MLB start today! Alright! Story time! To set the mood, let's introduce our characters: PG - Principal Glunn Chi - Chitown, rebel and the toughest, coolest moderator there is Ash - Ashburyjohn, the princess North - TwinsNorth, the Canadian outcast String - stringerbell, the brain Chief - the jock RB - the janitor ANNND Action! PG: "You all should be ASHAMED of yourself! You think moderators just grow on trees?! Let me tell you, if you think going to detention is cool, then you're never going to make it far in life. As your punishment, you are going to SIT in this room, and write a 1,000 word essay." Chi: "Pfft. Whatever. About what?" PG: "What does moderating mean to you? You have until 4 PM to finish this essay. Until then, you will remain in your seats, no talking, and NO SLEEPING." *PG leaves the room* RB: "Hahahahaha you losers have to write an essay! I bet String already wrote 500 words, he can't help himself with his large BRAIN." String: "So what if I do have 500 words down? Why don't you go bother Chi or someone else." North: "UGHHH!!!! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! WHY AM I HERE?!" Ash: "Me too.. I mean, why am I not allowed to go shopping during school hours? Don't they know how pretty I am?" Chief: "I'm just here so I don't get kicked off the bowling team. I'm heading out for a drink. Who's with me?" Chi: "Go ahead. There's some things I want to do here first. Like rip down the chalkboard." *Chief leaves the room to grab the bottle of whiskey from his locker.. As he takes a drink, Stringer comes walking by* String: "Chief! What are you doing? Are you insane??" Chief: "Relax, nerd. And take a swig." String: "I can't do that! My parents will kill me!" Chief: "You don't have a choice. Take a shot, or I'm knocking you down like a 7-10 split." String: "Ugh.... Okay." Chief: "Why are you here, String? I mean, you're the smartest kid in moderator school." String: "Well, if you must know, it's because I didn't turn in an assignment on Friday. I knew I couldn't make it perfect in time." Chief: "What was the assignment about?" String: "I was supposed to write about my idol. I LOVE Brian Dozier, and write about him all the time whenever I'm at home. Check out these doodles of Dozier in my notebook! But I couldn't handle the pressure of talking about Dozier in 1,500 words." Chief: "Hmm. I didn't know a geek like you could also like Brian Dozier. Perhaps we should consider watching a game together." String: "Boy, watching a Twins game with the coolest bowler in school?! I'd love that!" * Meanwhile, back in the classroom....* RB: "Don't even think about it, Chi. Or I'll have Principal Glunn assign you another 3 weekends of detention." Chi: "You can't tell me what to do! I'm going to rip down this chalkboard if it's the last thing I do!" RB: "Oh, you think you're miss tough girl, huh? Destroying the school while I have to clean up your mess." Chi: "Isn't that your job, JANITOR? How does one become a janitor anyway?" RB: "You want to become a janitor? Well, I've learned a couple of things after cleaning up your mess the last 5 years. I've gone through your lockers, your desks, and I HEAR EVERYTHING. In fact, I know that you secretly admire Jose Berrios." Chi: "That's privileged information! Not even my mother knows about my love for the Twins and Jose Berrios." Ash: "Wait, you like Jose Berrios too? Whenever I go shopping, I dream about holding hands with Jose! Maybe we can watch a game together?" Chi: "With you?" Ash: "Well, yeah! We can do our hair and have a fashion show while Berrios is on the mound." Chi: "I'm going to pretend you didn't say the last part, and tentatively agree to this." Ash: "Ooooooo I can't wait!" *The scene fades in with everyone circled up in the Library..... North: "You guys don't even know how hard it is to be the outcast Canadian... I had to pretend to be a Blue Jays fan my WHOLE life in order to please my parents." Ash: "I know what you mean. I lie to my parents too.... I say I love going to fashion shows and going shopping, but I want to do something else instead." Chief: "Preach it sister. My parents are on top of my every move so I don't lose my bowling scholarship. It makes me so MAD! Why can't I have some free time to do what I want to do?" Chi: "At least your parents care. Why do you think I destroy everything in the school? I just want them to acknowledge I exist and take me to a baseball game." String: "Baseball? I LOVE baseball! And I love Brian Dozier!!" North: "Wait, you guys are Minnesota Twins fans too?" Everyone at once: "YEP." RB: "Would you look at that. Everyone found common ground! You all come from different cliques, but you all love your Minnesota Twins." Ash: "Even you, RB?" RB: "Even me, Ash. Now, what are you guys going to do about that essay? It's 3:57!" Chief: "Don't you worry about that, RB...." *Principal Glunn enters the library* PG: "There you all are. Detention's almost over. Where are your essays?" Chi: "We didn't write any stinkin' essays. But we all learned one thing." PG: "Oh yeah? What's that?" Everyone in unison: "GO TWINS!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdqoNKCCt7A Thank you everyone! See you on next year's game threads!!!!

Woah! Just got home from golfing/drinking and very impressed! Go E Santana!

Your wish is granted, Rosterman! I hope they do remember that it's a game and it should be fun. The same thing goes for us as fans. We may disagree about how to get back to relevancy and what to do for the future. But this is supposed to be fun for us too! Even in a historically bad season.

You get a dollar if you reveal the fortune of the game! What do your senses tell you, great sampleSize?

Haha good catch! That would certainly make for an interesting photo shop...

Photoshop contest: Who will be the first to photoshop Buxton, Berrios, Sano, OR Carl Pohlad using Zoltar?

http://1000thingsnyc.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Zoltar-from-Big.jpg ANNND Welcome! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line: FORTUNE TELLER Edition! I am Vanimal, the great gypsy, and I can grant your WISH for the next 2 days! Come see it too, no? Hope you brought many dollar bills to this game thread, because this gypsy does not work for free. *Inserts $1* Ahh, cheer up my friend. And listen to the proverbs of Vanimal. The Minnesota Twins will play a game tonight at 6:10 PM against, what you call, the New York Mets. Before I reveal weather and lineups, please, feed me money. *Inserts $1* It will be, what you call, partly sunny skies in New York City. 75 degrees F at first pitch. A little breezy, 9 MPH S. Minnesota Twins (55-93) P - Ervin Santana ® - 5 IP 3 H 1 ER 4K in his last start New York Mets (78-69) P - Seth Lugo ® - 7 IP 6 H 2 ER 5K in his last start My friends, there have been recent Twins players that have stopped by the booth to make a wish for their upcoming season in 2017. Would you like to hear more? *Inserts $1* Ah, yes. Vanimal will share his wisdom with you.... Byron Buxton: Come to me son, and let me reveal your fortune. *Inserts $1* Ah, yes, you are some sort of, professional baseball player yes? Give me another dollar, and tell me your wish. *Inserts $1* "I want to be able to hit any breaking ball coming my way." Good, my son. Now shoot this quarter into my mouth. YOUR WISH IS GRANTED.... Jose Berrios: I am Vanimal, the great gypsy. Let me reveal your fortune.... *Inserts $1* You are struggling in your professional life my son. Give me another dollar, and tell me your wish. *Inserts $1* "I want to be able to command all of my pitches." Mmmhmm. Shoot this quarter into my mouth and hold your breath. YOUR WISH IS GRANTED..... Miguel Sano: Give me a dollar, I love dollars. And reveal your fortune.... *Inserts $1* You my son, have great strength... But you refuse to let the ball come towards you. For another dollar, your wish may come true! *Inserts $1* "I want to be able to field balls cleanly at third base." That's a fine wish. Do your best Kobe Bryant impression and shoot the quarter. YOUR WISH IS GRANTED.... Carl Pohlad: Yes, even you sir, need your fortune revealed. It's going to cost you extra. *Inserts $100* Vanimal is working overtime. You, young man, are conflicted with a great decision that needs to be made soon. Give me another $100, and tell me your wish. *Inserts $100* "I want to make the best hiring decision for President of Baseball Operations." Hmm, we all want the best decision. Better insert another $100 just to make sure. *Inserts $100* YOUR WISH IS GRANTED..... Let's get a win Twins!

Is phrasing still out of the rotation?

1990... The year where the foundation of the world wide web was created.... You know, the reason we all speak to each other on a daily basis. Yeah, that was a good year.

Nice! Wow that guy is extremely young, 33 years old. "Bloom’s background with the Rays is multi-faceted but involves working with the team’s player development department, contract negotiations, player evaluation and international scouting." I'm very intrigued with this guy.

Maybe AA and Cherington checked out the glassdoor reviews online for the Twins and said "nopenopenope"

I hope you're taking advantage driving around town topless today! Not too many warm days left in Chicago to do so!

Too many days to announce today! But, on this day in 1964, ABC replaced their folk music TV show "Hootenanny" with "Shindig!" where they featured rock and roll bands... The show lasted until 1966.