Brad Swanson

Yesterday, I started to delve into starting pitchers who I want the Twins to target in potential trades. I outlined five starters, three from the Cincinnati Reds. If you missed it, click here. Today, I have five more pitchers for you, free of charge! There is oneo legitimate ace on this list who is almost certainly a pipe dream. That being said, it's fun to aim high. Rick Porcello - Age 25 in 2014, arbitration eligible until 2016 If the Twins trade for Porcello, we could officially start the tally on who says "Por-cello" and who says "Por-chello." Personally, I say "Por-ceyo" in honor of the Spanish language. Regardless of how you incorrectly say his name, Porcello might represent the best buying opportunity of the ten players I am outlining. Porcello reached the Majors at age 20 and he's more than held his own since then. His career 4.51 ERA isn't dynamic, but he's just 24. He's averaged 174 innings in those five seasons and given up a ton of hits, leading the league in that category in 2012. Why is Porcello worth buying? He's got a great curveball and an improving primary fastball. He's finally getting some strikeouts with the former pitch, almost doubling his strikeout rate using that pitch since 2009. His curve is dynamic and his control is outstanding. His career walk rate is 6%, compared with 2013's AL average of 8%. Porcello gets mad ground balls, posting a career rate of 52.8% and a career-high rate of 55.3% in 2013. The most compelling stat is Porcello's 19.3% strikeout rate in 2013, nearly six points higher than any other year in his career. Add up his sparkling walk rate, extreme ground ball tendencies and improving strikeout rate and you get a 3.19 xFIP in 2013. Outstanding! Porcello will be 25 in December. He won't be a free agent until 2016 and a trade followed by a long-term extension would be an excellent move by the Twins. He's good right now and I think he's going to get better. This is the lowest his value is going to be. Now is the time to buy. David Price - Age 28 in 2014, arbitration eligible until 2016 David Price is really good. It's going to take a lot to get him though. I imagine the Rays don't budge unless Byron Buxton or Miguel Sano are included in a deal. Even if the Twins can talk them out of those stud prospects, the Rays would ask for Alex Meyer or Kohl Stewart and then what's the real point? Price is almost certainly worth those prospects (maybe not Buxton, but even that is worth arguing). He's one of the best pitchers in baseball. His strikeout rate dipped in 2013, but his walk rate plummeted. His ground ball rate in 2013 reverted to his pre-2012 levels and he also missed time with a triceps injury. I love the player, but I don't love him as a trade target. He's too expensive in all ways. He'd cost a blue chip prospect and then hundreds of millions of dollars in payroll-tightening money. Price is great, but I'd still pass. Jeff Samardzija - Age 29 in 2014, arbitration eligible until 2016 Samardzija really harnessed his control in 2012 and transformed himself into a nice pitcher. If you watched him early in his career, you likely would have never seen him coming. In 61 2012-13 starts, Samardzija has a strikeout rate around 24% (20% is NL average), a walk rate around 8% (just about NL average) and an xFIP of about 3.40. His 2013 season wasn't as pretty as his 2012 season, but he did throw nearly 40 more innings and had a slight jump in BABIP to go with a slight decrease in his strand rate. He throws hard too. His fastball sits 94 and touches 98. Also, his slider is nasty. I like Samardzija as a trade target, especially because I think he would be cheaper than just about anyone else on this list. Jordan Zimmermann - Age 28 in 2014, arbitration eligible until 2016 Zimmermann fits the Twins' profile a bit better than the other guys on this list. He really limits walks. His career rate is 5.4% and his 4.6% rate was 8th best in the NL in 2013. He doesn't rack up strikeouts, but he usually settles in right around league-average. His ground ball rate is trending upwards and his innings pitched have increased in each of the last three seasons, hitting 213.1 in 2013. Unlike most Twins pitchers, Zimmermann throws a baseball very hard. His fastball sits 93-94 and touches 97. He also has an effective slider, curve and change. His deep arsenal and great command are very enticing. I'm not sure Washington can keep Zimmermann if they have any interest in keeping Bryce Harper and Stephen Strasburg. If that's true, the Twins could land a very good number 2 starter if the right trade is proposed. Speaking of the right trade, who would you give up to get these guys? I know I would prefer to keep all the Twins' consensus top four prospects - Buxton, Sano, Meyer and Stewart. If the Twins call around to these teams and find that they all want one of those guys, then I'd start pursuing potential free agents even more aggressively. If the Twins can add two quality starting pitchers this off-season, they can transform the team. If they can pull this massive feat off, look at the potential starting rotation in 2015: Homer Bailey Matt Garza Alex Meyer Kyle Gibson Kevin Slowey That last one might be a joke, but if your first four are as good as those four, then your fifth starter could be just about anyone. I honestly think that rotation could be acquired for about $30-35 million per season and a couple good prospects. Suddenly, the Twins have a ton of young starting pitching in the low minors. If the Reds wanted someone like Jose Berrios (plus more, Bailey is really good), you'd have to make that deal. Isn't the goal with prospects to grow a guy like Bailey? Bailey's grown. You can get him if you give up some of your depth. If the Reds wanted Berrios, Eddie Rosario and a young starter at rookie ball, I'd say "yes, please send me your awesome pitcher, I'd like to have him now." Note: Obviously, the Rosario suspension news throws a bit of a wrench into this plan. However, he's going to be suspended 50 games, not imprisoned for life. These names are all just examples, so please don't yell at me. I don't know if that would be a trade the Reds or Twins would make. I don't know how many of the teams who hold these pitchers are interested in what the Twins could sell. I do know that the rate of prospect success is pretty low. I also know that good MLB players typically remain good. The Twins have a surplus of prospects and a deficit of quality, MLB starting pitchers. It seems like a logical trade-off. Otherwise: "You always talk about future, future. ... But if you only worry about the future, then I guess a lot of us won't be part of it." That's right Johan, but in this case, the "us" would be Joe Mauer, Glen Perkins, and Kevin Correia (joking). If the Twins aren't really careful, the "us" could be Byron Buxton and Miguel Sano. They have to address MLB starting pitching at some point. The time is now. Chant with me: BUY! BUY! BUY! BUY! BUY! Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

I've been writing so much about free agency lately, it's sick! Last week, I addressed the position players the Twins should target. This week, I've been counting down my top 30 starting pitching targets for the Twins. If you missed any of this mini-dynasty, I'll provide you some links below. Since I wrote these, things have changed, but most of my ideas aren't super player-specific, more of an overall philosophy. Translation: please click the links below so I can feel cool. Now that all the shameless self-promotion is clear, we can get back to the starting pitcher countdown. Here are the top ten starting pitching targets for the Twins, in my opinion (which should be obvious because I am writing this): [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK] 10. Scott Feldman Nothing sexy about Scott Feldman. This is not an indictment on his looks either, he just doesn't excite me as a pitcher. His walk rates are generally good, his strikeout rates are in the Twins Zone and he's reasonably young. His ground ball rate was great in 2013 and with the Twins' good infield defense, he could be a decent fit. If Feldman is the second or third best starting pitcher the Twins sign, the off-season could be categorized as a success. If he's the crown jewel of the 2013 off-season? Yawn. Links to more thoughts on free agency Infielders Outfielders and Catchers Relief Pitchers and Starting Pitchers 30-21 Starting Pitchers 20-11 9. Bronson Arroyo HOT RUMOR!! If news reports are to be believed, Bronson Arroyo is somewhere in the Twin Cities area, lurking, waiting to sign a contract with our beloved Twins. Be on the lookout for a man in his late 30s with long hair and likely carrying an acoustic guitar and silly-walking like in Monty Python. Do not approach Arroyo, as he could recede back to Cincinnati if spooked. I've already started to talk myself into Arroyo on the Twins, so that pretty much means he won't sign here. I was concerned about his age and lack of strikeouts, but overall, he looks like a pretty valuable pitcher. He's thrown over 2000 innings in the past 10 seasons and he's transformed from a control-enthusiast to a control-specialist. He'll be 37 next season and all pitchers are healthy until they aren't healthy any longer. If he does sign here, I'll be interested in the contract he receives. Anything more than two years or more than $10 million per season will elevate my levels. Stay below those thresholds and I'll be chill. According to Baseball Reference, his nickname is Saturn Nuts. I'm sensing a love-hate relationship starting here. If he even sings once, I want his contract voided. Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! 8. Ervin Santana Not a huge fan. He throws hard but that doesn't translate to strikeouts, so what's the point? His career strikeout rate is lower than Scott Baker's. It's only slightly higher than Kevin Slowey's. Santana is also prone to wildness and home runs. He's averaged over 200 innings the past four seasons, so he certainly has value. He's a good pitcher, I'll say that. He's reportedly looking for 5 years and over $100 million. That's crazy. Fans can harp on the Twins for being cheap all they want, but signing Santana to a contract that averages over $20 million per year is irresponsible. I'd rather my team be cheap than crazy. 7. Scott Kazmir Kazmir will be only 30 next year. That's insane. I remember being jealous of my friend Brad because he had Kazmir on his fantasy team. That was in 2005. I've been jealous for 9 years now. After completely falling apart in 2010-2011 and then missing all of 2012, Kazmir rebounded really nicely in 2013. He still throws basically as hard as he ever has and he still has great stuff. His 4.04 ERA in 2013 isn't special, but his 3.36 xFIP shows that he may be a huge upside signing. His 2013 could end up looking like a huge fluke, but I'm not sure that it will. He'd be a lot higher up my list if I could just get one more year to look at him. The Twins won't have that luxury, so if they want him, they need to be bold. I like him, I'd go 3-4 years if needed. 6. Ubaldo Jimenez Is Jimenez consistent? Here are his last 5 xFIPs - 3.59, 3.60, 3.71, 4.98, 3.62. I can explain the 4.98! Strikeout rate dipped, walk rate spiked, strand rate dipped, ground ball rate plummeted, home run/fly ball rate spiked. There, it all makes sense now. Why did all of those rates change so dramatically in 2012? I'm not sure. His 2013 looks a lot like his 2009, 2010 and 2011. If his 2012 had matched, he'd be looking at a massive payday. Instead, he'll have to settle for a tremendous payday. It's a subtle difference, I agree. I'm not worried about him as a pitcher, but he's far too rich for the thrifty Twins, so he rates a bit lower than others. 5. A.J. Burnett Burnett would probably be number 1 on my list if there was any chance that he would actually sign here. His combination of high ground ball rate and good strikeout rate is so enticing. He has also really gotten his control under control (ugh) as he has aged. Of course, none of this matters as Burnett is reportedly unwilling to pitch anywhere that isn't within walking distance of his home in Maryland (exaggeration). Now there are reports that he may retire. Regardless of what he chooses to do, he won't pitch for the Twins in 2014. What if the Twins just went insane and offered him 2 years, $36 million? I bet he'd consider that. If things really fall apart and all their targets sign elsewhere, I'm not so sure that wouldn't be a smart offer to make. They have the money, right? 4. Dan Haren We would feel a lot differently about Dan Haren if we called him "Dangerous" Danny Haren like I want us to. That would give him an edge. Instead, he's a fairly boring option. He doesn't throw hard, he's had some recent ups and downs and he isn't really a big name anymore. He is consistent though. His xFIP has been 4 or below since 2005. His ground ball rate has been diminishing and his strikeout rate is dipping (as a trend, it was up a bit last season), but his walk rate is strikingly consistent, and low. His 2012 and 2013 seasons were disappointing, likely as he learned to deal with that diminishing ground ball rate. He seemed to figure it out in the second half of 2013, posting an 3.40 xFIP as his strand rate and BABIPs stabilized. He averaged well over 200 innings from 2005-2011 and he's still just 33. He never really relied on power stuff, so his age is less of a factor. He signed a one year, $13 million dollar deal for last season and a similar deal would be very reasonable for the Twins. 3. Ricky Nolasco You know how some pitchers outperform their peripheral stats? Nolasco consistently underperforms relative to his peripherals. His walk rates have always been excellent and his strikeout rates were consistently good until they weren't any more. His career 3.52 K/BB ratio is just fantastic! His career 4.37 ERA is not. His career xFIP of 3.75 is good! His dipping K rate is bad. He's a yoyo. He's averaged nearly 200 innings in his last three seasons and he is coming off his best season ever in 2013. He'll be 31 next year and should be looking to cash in. For a reasonable contract, I'd be interested. I worry his contract offers will exceed "reasonable." Oh, he's a slider enthusiast, and I'm not so sure we like that 'round these parts. 2. Josh Johnson OH HOT DAMN A LOCAL BOY! Johnson was atrocious last season, his first with Toronto. Perhaps he didn't get used to drinking maple syrup every day? If you look closely, there are easy ways to explain away his poor performance. First, his strand rate was extremely low - 63.3% compared to his career rate of 74.2%. Second, his BABIP was .356, an astronomical number even if you don't believe in BABIP. Third, his home run to fly ball rate was 18.5%, over twice has high as his 8.2% career value. Add all those misfortunes together and you get a 6.20 ERA but a 3.58 xFIP. He'll be just 30 next season and won an ERA title only four short seasons ago. "BUY LOW," shouted the man. The Twins should offer one year and $whateverittakes million to get Johnson. If it takes two years, go for it. Three years? Yeah, maybe. 18 years? Don't be stupid. 1. Matt Garza I've written this before, but Garza's debut is one of my fondest memories of recent Twins past. He was just such a delightful spaz that evening. I enjoyed his competitive personality and while he may legitimately have a screw loose, he is a solid pitcher. His 2013 was rocky, but he was coming off of a couple legit injuries. In 2011 and 2012, he looked like a budding ace. He had great strikeout rates, improved control and a suddenly solid ground ball rate. His ground ball rate plummeted last season, but his line drive rate jumped far beyond his career norm. I imagine those rates will even out. With a relatively stable strikeout rate, and ever-improving walk rate and no real noticeable loss of velocity, Garza would be an excellent target for his age 30-34 seasons. A five-year deal seems more than reasonable and I'd pay him big money. Would the Twins do it? Would they bring back someone they once jettisoned for Delmon Young? I have no idea. I Googled "Matt Garza Twins hate" and found nothing. It seems the waters are clear. Garza isn't an "ace" but he's a very good pitcher and would anchor this rotation. Projections seem to fall in the 4 years, $60 million range for Garza. The Twins might need to exceed that. Personally, I'd go 5 and 80 and hope he wants to come back. That's a lot of money. Deep breath. Special Note: Masahiro Tanaka. I learned long ago to stick to what I know and I know nothing of Japanese baseball. If he's as good as advertised, he'd be number 3 on this list. Since I can't speak of him with any authority or come up with any "jokes" about him, I'll just leave him here. So there we are. Tons of free agents rated and reviewed for your reading pleasure. Who will the Twins actually sign? I have no clue. I hope they are shockingly active. I'd love to see Garza, Johnson and Arroyo on this team next year. How wild would that be? Terry Ryan shows up at Spring Training with an earring. He starts calling everyone "playa." Constant Finger Guns. It would be amazing. Make it happen, TR.

Welcome to another Minnesota Twins mailbag. There has been so much juicy Twins news in the past month, I just couldn't resist asking questions to qualified Twins analysts. Unfortunately, with the iOS7 upgrade, none of my emails, texts, tweets or vines actually send, so I'll just have to answer my own questions this time. This should be a nice change of pace. Would you move Joe Mauer to first base to alleviate any potential concussion issues going forward? Brad S., St. Paul, MN [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK] Thanks for reading! First, moving Mauer to first will not remove all risk of a concussion. The Twins used to have this guy named Justin Morneau. He was a former MVP and he played first for the Twins for like a decade. I think he played for Pittsburgh most recently. Anyway, he actually was injured while running the bases, so he could have been a DH and still gotten a concussion. Now, the risk of getting a concussion is still higher behind the plate. So yes, I would move him to first. A, first base is open right now. B, the Twins have a reasonable replacement at catcher in Josmil Pinto. C, Mauer may not hit a lot of home runs, but his .476 slugging percentage would have been sixth among qualified catchers. D, Mauer would be able to play more games at first than at catcher. E, if Miguel Sano breaks camp with the Twins (and I think he will), there will be plenty of over-the-fence power at the other corner. "F, you're a gimp." Maybe so, but this is a low risk move and I'd do it right now. Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! Would you sign Johan Santana? Brad S., St. Paul, MN Yes, and I'd sign him to a twenty-year contract. I am essentially a completely biased Johan Santana guy. I'd bring him back at any cost and I wouldn't even care if he only served as Bert Blyleven's barber. For me, he's the best player of the last generation of Twins baseball and that includes Joe Mauer (who I love). Having Santana back in Minnesota just makes me happy. What if he somehow recovered from his injury? It would easily be the greatest story in Minnesota sports history. That might be an embellishment, but if Santana could come back for three productive seasons, he could get back on the Hall of Fame pace that he was on back in 2010. His glory days would pretty much all be in Minnesota and he'd be one of two Twins Hall of Famers from this era (Mauer again, save your rage). I'd sign him because I am a huge fan and he seems like a nice guy. At the right price, it's a low risk/high reward/good PR move. If he could actually pitch, it would be a cool bonus. What would your rotation look like in 2014, if no starters are signed between now and April? Brad S., St. Paul, MN Assuming that Santana is not brought back and the Twins decide to eschew their biggest need for another year, their rotation will be gross. Of the available arms, I would choose these five: Kevin Correia Kyle Gibson Scott Diamond Vance Worley Samuel Deduno I need a shower. That rotation will bring the Twins another top-5 pick in 2015. I don't want that. I would rather have a pick in the teens and watch a team win 70-75 games. Normally, I prefer bad teams to be really bad, but four years in a row with no hope is too much for me. Of those five, I'd really prefer that only Gibson is there next year. I'm willing to give Diamond and Worley another chance, but I'm not optimistic with either guy. In all honesty, I'd probably prefer Liam Hendriks to Sam Deduno, but I'm trying to go at least one week without being a stupid idiot. I still think that Deduno is a mirage. Also, he gets hurt a lot. Has anyone pointed that out? At least you can count on Hendriks to be awful every fifth day. What did you think of the World Series? Brad S., St. Paul, MN Excellent question! At one point I thought to myself, "I'd be happy if Carlos Beltran won a World Series." Why? I mean, when I got a promotion at work, Carlos Beltran didn't call me. He probably didn't even read the HR newsletter even though I FedEx'd it to him. It's almost as if we have no relationship whatsoever. As for the series, I find it hard to root for a team that has repeated success. I don't root against them, but I don't really care either. Both of these teams were going for a third title in the past ten seasons, so it was hard to care either way. Boston won. They went a billion years without a title or whatever, so I guess getting three in ten years is cool for them. Trevor Plouffe currently has 48 career home runs. Do you think he will hit 100 in his career? Brad S., St. Paul, MN Nope. Plouffe looked like a legitimate power hitter just about fifteen months ago. His 2013 season was actually pretty decent, and he improved slightly in most offensive areas. His home runs regressed and that hurt his slugging and therefore his OPS, OPS+, wRC+, WAR, OCEAN and every other acronym and acronym+ you can find. Now, he's a year from arbitration and about to be replaced by a younger, sexier, better player. 52 more home runs is not a lot. If Plouffe can just average the 14 he hit last season, he'd get there in four seasons. I'm not sure he's a regular player for the next four seasons though. He can't hit right-handed pitching, his defense is suspect at best and he doesn't do enough well to make up for what he doesn't do well. I think the Twins got the most they could have hoped for out of Plouffe (as a post-prospect, not as a former first-round pick) and I'd be surprised if he ever reaches that soft, round 100. Would you sign Bartolo Colon to fill one of the spots in the Twins rotation in 2014? C. Bolon, Email Land, Netscape An actual question! I can't include the whole question because it was very long. It was very amusing too, although you'll have to take my word on that. I'd probably pass on Colon unless he would be willing to take a one-year deal. Considering his age and appetite, I'd assume he'd want more stability. If he would sign for one-year and say, ten million, I'd do it. The Twins have the money and they need starters. Colon wouldn't transform the team from 96 losses to 96 wins, but he would be their best starter and he would help improve the team. If you believe in the concept of installing a "winning culture," finding a guy who can help propel a team from 66 wins to 75 wins is worthwhile. I can't see why he would want to pitch here, unless he had no other offers. Although, if the Twins could sign him and Santana, we could arrange for Colon to sheepishly return his ill-gotten 2005 Cy Young Award to the rightful owner. Who will be the Brian Dozier of 2014? Brad S., St. Paul, MN You mean ruggedly handsome? If so, I'm not sure. I'll need to wait until the Spring Training mug shots come out. If you are looking for the next breakout player, then I choose Aaron Hicks. The parallels are almost too eerie. Both were rushed to Minnesota before they were ready. Both were Spring Training/media darlings. Both were sent to AAA later than expected and did not return to the MLB team. Both sucked, although Dozier stopped sucking once he was awesome. For those reasons, I feel that Aaron Hicks will be the Brian Dozier of 2014. Thank you very much for indulging me. If you ever have the inkling to ask a question, but want an answer in an indeterminate period of time, just send me a message at kevinsloweywasframed@gmail.com. I spend 100 bucks a month for that email address, but all the Princes that keep emailing me about their kingdoms of riches should balance it all out. Have a great weekend, everyone!

State of the Team 1994 Record: 53-60, 4th in the BRAND NEW AL Central 1994 Overview: STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-RIKE! 1995 Outlook: Will there be a season? If so, where will Shane Mack be? Players Lost - Free Agency The seeds for the 1994 off-season were planted in 1993 when the (at the time) current collective bargaining agreement expired without a new agreement. A strike was a legit possibility and looked more and more likely as the 1994 season continued. On August 12, 1994, the strike began. On September 14, 1994, Commissioner Bud Selig cancelled the rest of the season and the playoffs/World Series. He was World Serious. So, the 1994 off-season was super weird. No one was really sure how long the strike would last and some players retired and some left for other baseball pursuits. Kent Hrbek retired, which sucked. Shane Mack left for Japan, which sucked. The Twins lost two of their four best offensive players and they really weren't very good before that. Welcome to the Scott Stahoviak era! Don't get too comfortable. The Twins also lost Jim Deshaies and Rich Garces. Deshaies was a dishaster and Garces was a failed prospect who had a four-season stretch of effective pitching about four years later. Players Gained - Free Agency The Twins didn't really sign anyone of note, although they did sign some players who I had heard of. First, the Twins brought in Kevin Maas, likely in an effort to replace some of the power that was retiring/leaving. Maas didn't play in the Majors in 1994 and really, he barely played in 1995. He made it through 22 games before being cut loose and signing a Minor League deal to return to the Yankees. He never reached the Bigs again. They also signed Greg Harris, a starter who had some relative success earlier in his career. Harris threw 32.2 innings, posted a dope 8.82 ERA and was gone by August. He will be forever remembered by me like this: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KIGn8LoXers/UmqcpXrwXEI/AAAAAAAABEg/y8e1cqXbzR8/s320/greg+harris+card.jpg Jerald Clark was another '94-absent player, although he actually produced for the Twins in 1995. He hit .339/.354/.550 in 113 plate appearances. He hurt his knee in mid-June and never played MLB baseball again. Finally, the Twins signed Riccardo Ingram, who had 10 plate appearances in 1995 but will be best remembered for having a cool name. TRADEZ! The strike brought one of the weirdest trades in MLB history and one that would have literally made the Twins Daily forums explode with vicious and delicious rage. Dave Winfield was traded on August 31, for a player to be named later. When the season was cancelled, there was no real reason to complete the trade. So, some executives from the Indians took some executives from the Twins out to dinner and paid the bill. AT THE HENNEPIN COUNTY TAXPAYERS EXPENSE, probably. Biggest Splash The Twins claimed Rich Robertson off waivers from the Pirates. In 1995, he threw 51.2 innings and had a 3.83 ERA. Not bad! However, as we learned from American Beauty: look closer. He walked over 5 batters per nine innings and he barely struck out more than 6 batters per nine innings. Not surprisingly, Robertson was a train wreck of an earthquake of a disaster in 1996 and 1997, starting 57 awful games and posting an ERA around 5.5. Ah, the mid-90s. Biggest Miss Shane Mack left for Japan after the 1994 season. He likely made that decision at least partially because of the strike. I have no idea if the Twins tried to keep them or if they were allowed to try to keep him, but it would have been great if he had stayed. My Own Personal Heartbreak Back to Mack. I retroactively loved Shane Mack. I didn't appreciate him as a kid because I was Team Kirby and Mack was like his second fiddle. I should have made room in my heart for Kirby Puckett and Shane Mack, but that is my regret. I'll work it out in shock therapy. Had Mack stayed with the Twins for even three more seasons, he probably would go down as one of the best Twins of all-time. He was still a very productive player during his two seasons in Japan and he was even still pretty good when he came back to the States in '97 and '98. He dealt with a lot of injuries, but he played well when healthy. It's a shame that the strike stole Shane Mack from us. I blame everyone. Arbitrary Overall Assessment: F An F for the Twins and an F for baseball. Seriously, there was no 1994 World Series. I mean, how do things get that bad? Labor strife and management control over employees are historical problems, but we're talking about a professional sport. Millionaires and billionaires and blah blah blah. I'm just glad that things have been relatively peaceful ever since. Sports strikes are among the most baffling occurrences on Earth, at least to me. I understand crop circles better. I understand Sasquatch sightings better. I understand Matthew McConaughey better. The Twins get an F, but I'm not sure what more they could have done differently. The strike sucked, to state the obvious. Next week, we'll look at the 1995 off-season. See you then! Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!

The 2013 regular season has ended. The AL Central has produced a team that has made it to at least the ALCS. In addition, the Indians made the Wild Card game and the Royals had a pretty decent season. The Twins and White Sox battled heroically for last place, with the White Sox emerging victorious. Prior to the season, I did some predictin'. I looked at each of the AL Central teams' offseason moves and came to some wild & crazy kids conclusions. When I started this blog a little over a year ago, I had one thing in mind: accountability. I wanted to have a record of all the stupid and sometimes (rarely) insightful things that pop into my mind on a given day. Who better to call myself out than me? I know me really well. BTW, I predicted the following order before the season: [TABLE=class: grid, width: 500] Preview Predicted Order Actual Order Detroit Detroit Kansas City Cleveland Chicago Kansas City Cleveland Minnesota Minnesota Chicago [/TABLE] I mean, 1/5 is really not that bad. So, here are the dumbest and most smart things I said about each team during the previews. If you really want to read previews from a season that already happened, here is the Tigers preview with links to the others. ~~~ Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! If you really like reviews, I did two 2013 fun stats reviews as well: Hitters. Pitchers. Fun! ~~~ Detroit Dumb: Phil Coke emerged in the ALCS and could ride his confidence/quirkiness to a successful season. In fact, you could argue that Phil Coke is the Zooey Deschanel of the Tigers. Ok, I can't say that I really remember what this was in reference to. I think there were a lot of New Girl promos and Phil Coke was a weirdo or something. The successful season part was incorrect. Coke was terrible and injured in 2013. On the plus side, I have gotten a surprising amount of Google traffic from people searching for Zooey Deschanel. Those people must be so confused. Smart: Addition by Subtraction - Valverde, who was overrated when he was good and mostly bad last year. Young, as no one in Detroit has to worry that Delmon will run into a dam while chasing a fly ball and flood the whole city. Ha! Roasted, Delmon. I even drew a picture to commemorate that sick burn: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CTMVUrcHanQ/UYbRLGjl5pI/AAAAAAAAAng/YUmSlPiHwsY/s320/Delmon+Dam.png Ah, memories. Replacing Young with Torii Hunter was a former-Twins upgrade. Valverde was actually brought back early in 2013 due to issues with the Tigers bullpen. He was released after 19.1 hungry innings. Kansas City Dumb: Mike Moustakas is solid. Well, this is just plain inaccurate. Moustakas was the second overall pick back in 2007. After seeing a huge jump in his WAR in 2012 (mostly from defense), he plummeted to negative WAR in 2013. He's only 25 and not arbitration eligible until 2015, but I'd bet the Royals are already looking at potential long-term replacements. His OBP sunk to .287 last season. Yuck; not solid. Smart: Their bullpen is crazy talented. This is accurate. According to Fangraphs, the Kansas City bullpen provided 7.3 WAR, second only to Texas. They had a 2.55 ERA and averaged more than a strikeout per inning. Greg Holland was ludicrous. Luke Hochevar made the transition from albatross starter to extremely effective reliever. Louis Coleman, Tim Collins, Will Smith, Aaron Crow, the list goes on. They were even able to overcome some regression from Kelvin Herrera, who still looks great to me despite a near 4 ERA. Goodness. Chicago Dumb: All that being said, there is serious talent on this roster. Nope, not true. Chris Sale and Addison Reed are talented. Jose Quintana is talented. Alex Rios and Jake Peavy are talented, but were traded. Paul Konerko is talented, but he's old. Alexei Ramirez plays a mean short. Other than that, there isn't a lot of actual talent on the roster. Serious talent was an overstatement. Moderate talent would have been more appropriate, but possibly still too strong. Smart: The offense scored runs, but might be worse than in 2012. I really felt their collapse in my bones. I should have written "will" instead of "might." In the early days of this blog, I wanted to remain non-confrontational. I've emerged as a shock jock and shock jock Brad would have used "will." Regardless, their offense went from 7th in the Majors in 2012 to 29th in 2013. Paul Konerko retired (not really, but figuratively), Alejandro De Aza and Dayan Viciedo regressed, and Alexei Ramirez and Gordon Beckham improved, but were still unimpressive. Adam Dunn lead this offense with a 103 OPS+ and he hit .219. Just awful; and I felt it and I wasn't confident about it. Never again! Cleveland Dumb: Bauer is pretty close to MLB ready, so he might even help in 2013. I had this odd affinity for Trevor Bauer. I guess I just love complex warm-up routines or something. I liked that he had a mix of pitches and I guess I got ahead of myself. Bauer did not help the Indians in 2013. He only made four starts and only lasted through 17 innings in those starts. He walked everyone and didn't fare much better in AAA. A lot of experts think he needs to lose some pitches. I guess he'll have to adapt or die, as they say. I still hold out some long-term hope, but I'm not sure he helps much in 2014. Smart: 2013 might not be a playoff season, but the future is fairly bright in Cleveland. Yes, I was wrong about 2013. However, the bright future part does look pretty smart in hindsight. The Indians were the 5th worst team in baseball in 2012. They traded one of their best offensive players in the off-season. Yet, I thought the moves they made were very impressive. I wrote this before the signed Michael Bourn, although I have to admit that signing would not have made me put them any higher than 3rd in the division. All that being said, their future is bright and I'm not so sure that was the general sentiment around them in February. If nothing else, it is definitely the most intelligent statement in that preview. So that's something. Your Minnesota Twins Dumb: Addition by Subtraction – Matt Capps, but only for fan sanity. I still think he has something to give a team. I was right about the addition by subtraction part. Matt Capps did have something to give a team too! Seven AAA innings. That's it. That's what Matt Capps did last summer. The Indians just re-signed him yesterday and I can't imagine they will get less out of him in 2014. He's still just 30. It's baffling, but he must be one of those guys who's 40 when he's 25. You know, those guys. Smart: Honestly, the vast majority of the preview. I was pretty on point with the Twins going into 2013. I had low expectations, but felt the team had gotten better organizationally. I thought the offense would struggle and the pitching would be basically the same as it had been in 2012. I thought the bullpen was good and I thought that the good players would be good players. The problem was that there weren't a lot of good players on the team. Here is how I ended my preview: Predicted Division Finish - 5th. Twins fans, it hurts. Three straight last place finishes is on no one’s wish list. However, one more bad season might be it. There are really exciting players coming up through the farm system, and quite a few will be in Minnesota by 2014. If things really click, the 2014 Twins could resemble the 2001 team that put this franchise back on the map after nearly a decade of losing. Don’t lose hope and faith in this franchise. All teams go through this (except the Yankees). If you stick with this team, your patience will pay off. I still believe all of that. I truly believe that 2014 could be the start of a turnaround. A lot rides on the moves made this off-season and the development of the organization's prospects, but 2014 could be a real turning point. Next off-season, this paragraph could look ridiculous, but I'm not so sure it will. I may be overly optimistic, but I don't think this is a basement-level franchise in the long-term. I'm excited to write a 2014 preview. The moves made this off-season will dictate whether 2014 is a 2001 or another 2013.

State of the Team 1992 Record: 90-72, second in the AL West 1992 Overview: An extremely solid season that took place before 10 teams made the playoffs. 1993 Outlook: Great...so long as they re-sign their best player. Players Lost - Free Agency The Twins lost three important players during the '92 off-season: their long-time starting shortstop, a key offensive contributor to the '91 champs and the team's best starter in '92. Losing Greg Gagne was much more significant than it likely seemed at the time. Gagne had been the Twins' starting shortstop since 1985. He was never a great offensive player, but his defense was more than steady. I did some research last Winter and found that shortstops as good as Gagne are a lot more rare than we may think. Since Gagne, the Twins have not had a quality shortstop for more than a year at a time. Gagne was the smallest of the three names that left the Twins this offseason, but he was probably the most significant piece when you consider that almost 20 years later, the Twins have still not fully replaced him. Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! The other two big names were Chili Davis and John Smiley, who only played three combined seasons for the Twins. Smiley was outstanding in 1992 and no one on the roster could replace his production in '93. His loss was probably the biggest reason why the Twins dropped off as much as they did. Chili Davis posted an OPS+ of 130 in 1992. No Twin reached that mark in 1993. Of course, the Twins did have a plan to replace Davis at DH and I'll have more on that in a bit. The Twins also released Cory Lidle during the 1992 off-season. Lidle was an undrafted free agent and didn't do much in the minors with the Twins. However, he would eventually re-kindle his career and win 2 games before tragically dying in a plane crash at the age of 34. Players Gained - Free Agency Just six days after losing Chili Davis to the Angels, the Minnesota Twins signed Minnesota Dave Winfield. Winfield was pretty good in 1993, posting a 105 OPS+. Of course, that was a major downgrade from Chili Davis in '92. Winfield did collect his 3000th hit with the Twins on September 16, which was fun. The Twins also added Jim Deshaies, likely in an attempt to replace some of what John Smiley provided in '92. Didn't work. Deshaies was fine, posting a 99 ERA+, but didn't last through the whole season, as the Twins traded him to the Giants. Check back next week to see if the Twins decide to bring him back for '94. Cliffhanger! Not really. The biggest free agent was one of their own. Kirby Puckett re-signed with the Twins on December 4, 1992, saving the Twins from having to replace their best and most popular player and saving my mother from having to hear me cry for the next five years. Puckett could have made more money in Boston, but would have missed the beautiful fall season in Minnesota. Pat Meares replaced Greg Gagne for the next six seasons. Not ideal, but what can you do? TRADEZ! Just one day after re-signing Puckett, the Twins front office was on such a high that they had to make a trade. The Twins shipped Disappointing David West to the Phillies for Mike Hartley. West had his best season in 1993, because his entire career was created to upset Twins fans. Hartley was fine as a middle reliever, throwing 81 innings with a 4.00 ERA. I appreciate his ability to end with a round figure. In Spring Training, the Twins struck again! They traded Gary Wayne, Gary Wayne's beautiful face and Bob Wassenaar to the Rockies for Brett Merriman. Merriman was awful and he never once appeared on a 1991 Score baseball card that generated at least two blog posts for me. Useless. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-K2BwT4DnygA/UYklyS39rBI/AAAAAAAAAok/VN4-LPkj67Y/s320/IMG_0669.JPG Biggest Splash Re-signing Kirby Puckett was huge. Sadly, the Twins were terrible for the rest of his career, so it wasn't huge on the field. Off the field, Puckett was clearly the most popular player on the team and a huge link to the glory days that would soon seem long gone. Once Kirby was gone, there was little reason to watch this team in the late 90s. Biggest Miss Letting Gagne go didn't work out very well. Gagne basically had four more Gagne seasons after leaving Minnesota. He out-WARed Pat Meares 8.7 to 3.6. Although Meares was loads cheaper. $$$$ My Own Personal Cheer I probably would have followed Puckett to Boston, so I'm grateful that I didn't have to move in the middle of 5th grade. EXPANSION DRAFT! The '92 off-season was even more significant because the Rockies and Marlins were joining Major League Baseball in '93. Therefore, the Twins had to expose some players to the expansion draft. They ended up losing Jayhawk Owens, Curt Leskanic and Tom Edens. Leskanic eventually became a reliable reliever and Edens wasn't terrible, but no big losses here. Arbitrary Overall Assessment: B- They get an A for re-signing Kirby Puckett, a decent mark for signing Winfield, but mostly Fs for the rest. I grade on a curve, so the average is better than it should be. Next week, we'll look at the 1993 off-season. See you then!

So, I guess I have to be the one to do this, huh? No one else wants to write this? No one will take the obvious grief that will accompany the following 800 or so words. I guess in some way it makes sense. I do hold the distinction of having the least reliable and most obnoxious Twins blog in the stratosphere (using a word like stratosphere is obnoxious). I am more known for putting Twins player heads on bird bodies and writing about chance encounters with talking pumas so I can't imagine anyone comes to this blog for actual Twins roster coverage. It doesn't really add up. I'm going to do it anyway: The Twins should sign Robinson Cano. There, I said it and now no one else has to. All you gutless members of the lamestream media can retreat to your cushy mansions and eat your duck eggs or whatever and I'll do all the controversial "reporting." I'll take the heat; enjoy your cashmere. Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! Fact: The Twins have the money. With Justin Morneau ($14 million), Nick Blackburn ($5 million) and Mike Pelfrey ($4 million) coming off the books, the Twins have $23 million to spend, not even accounting for the money they were under budget last season. It's estimated that the Twins will have $40-50 million to spend this off-season. If that's the case, they could easily throw $25-30 million at Cano and add an MVP quality bat to the lineup for the next half-decade. The tough part is convincing Cano to answer a phone call from the Twins, much less signing an actual contract. Therefore, the Twins have to overpay. Here's what I would offer: Austin Powers is 16 years old?!? Yeah baby. Actually, I'd offer 10 years, $300 million. Now, just calm down for one moment. I'm not crazy and you should keep reading. Here's the case for Cano: He's really freaking good. I get all the reasons not to sign him: he's going to be 31 in a couple weeks, he's super expensive, the Twins don't really need a second baseman, he doesn't pitch, he smells like Yankees...I just think the positives outweigh the negatives. The Twins would be adding a second perennial MVP candidate to their lineup, along with a premier defensive player. Let's get back to that phone call I mentioned. What would happen if Terry Ryan called up Cano in a misguided attempt to actually woo him to Minnesota? I think it might go down like this: Robinson, how are you today, it's Terry Ryan...No Terry Taylor was the Red Rooster, how do you know about that? I'm Terry Ryan, Twins General Manager...Minnesota Twins...It's in the North...You come here every year...Yes, it's cold, but not in the summer...Sure, there are penguins everywhere. Look, we want to offer you a contract to play for the Twins...Yes, we are a baseball team...Joe Mauer...Yeah, sideburns. Listen, we have a what I think is a very fair offer for you. We're building a winner here. We want to add you to a lineup with Mauer, with Miguel Sano, with Byron Buxton. We're going to have a powerful lineup and we want you to be a part of it...No, it's not Canada, just one set of taxes...I mean, some penguins...We can work out the logistics later, but we want to offer you a ten year contract worth a total of $300 million...No, you can live wherever you want, you just have to play here...I have never seen an igloo...Yep, actual houses...Sure, how many penguins? And so on. Basically, you give in to his demands and you pay him a lofty salary and you get another MVP on this team. Of course, I can hear it now..."But (sniffle) what about Brian Dooooooooozier (sniffle) (tear)?" I like Brian Dozier. He's great. His hair is beautiful. However, he's not the type of player that would keep me from looking at someone like Cano. You can still upgrade second base; Dozier isn't the best guy at that position. Plus, are we 100% sure that Dozier can't play short? I thought a lot of his struggles in 2012 were mental, not physical. What if we just move Dozier to short, use Florimon as a super-utility guy and dominate the American League like champs do? Peep this potential lineup (likely around midseason when Buxton and Sano are ready): Byron Buxton - CF Joe Mauer - 1B Josh Willingham - DH (if there is a God) ROBINSON CANO AND HIS MVPNESS - 2B Miguel Sano - 3B Oswaldo Arcia - LF Brian Dozier - SS Josmil Pinto - C Aaron Hicks - RF Hot dog. That lineup is fresh. Now, much of the 2014 season would be played without that lineup, but you could conceivably run that lineup out for the 2015 season, with some other guy in place of Josh Willingham. Perhaps you blow another 30 mil the following off-season on someone. Another point: You can deal with Mauer's lack of "power" (which isn't even true, he lacks home run power, but still slugs .450ish every year) because you'd get so much power from your second baseman. It's a trade-off, and we all need to learn to make trade-offs. Logical retort to all of this: Cano doesn't pitch, you dingus. True. I can't argue with that. I looked very closely at Cano's Baseball Reference page AND his FanGraphs page and I can find no evidence that he is a pitcher. Thus, the Twins' starting pitching would still be a problem. Remember, they're only spending $30 mil on Cano. That still leaves $10-20 mil for a good starter, a decent starter, some snacks and a Playstation 4. Why not grab Cano, add Matt Garza, pick up Scott Feldman and get ready to roll. It's all so simple! Overpaying for Robinson Cano is not the Twins' way. It would be the single most shocking moment of my life, and I've been struck by lightning four times. It would be such a departure from "business as usual" and it would really build some interest in the brand. If the Twins can execute this maneuver, they would instantly become the most interesting franchise in baseball. Signing Robinson Cano is a social contract with the fans and I would love to sign on that dotted line. Now, who wants to help me track down some penguins?

YOYOYO everybody! The off-season is upon us and the Twins have a lot of work to do. Coming off of another raging failure, the Front Office will need to pull off some sweet moves in order to make this team a contender. I have no clue what they will do and I have no desire to guess (at least not until later). Instead, I thought it would be fun to head back down Memory Lane and analyze each off-season since the Twins' last World Series. I'm not going to get too bogged down in the minor moves, but I'll investigate the moves that shaped the franchise and led us to where we are today. Strap in. State of the Team 1991 Record: 95-67, first in the American League! 1991 Overview: Uh, they won the World Series, which is pretty good. 1992 Outlook: Strong Originally posted at K-Slow was Framed! Players Lost - Free Agency The Twins lost a starting outfielder, a workhorse starting pitcher, a former ERA champion, and a guy who once caught a ball while running on the rolled-up tarp (at least, that's how I remember it). Dan Gladden wasn't very good by 1991. His 80 OPS+ in 1991 was brutal and his defense wasn't great. He only made slightly over a million bucks, but that was a decent chunk of cash in those days. The Twins basically replaced Gladden with Pedro Munoz, who posted a 96 OPS+ in 1992. Munoz had more power, but somehow was worse at getting on-base. Kind of a wash, but at least Munoz was younger/cheaper. Jack Morris' last act of business with the Twins was pitching 10 innings in Game 7 and leaving with a World Series win. Morris was basically a mercenary and left after one historic season. The Twins basically replaced him with John Smiley (more on him later) and Smiley was great. Morris' 1991 and Smiley's 1992 were eerily similar, although Smiley was 10 years younger. The Twins also lost Allan Anderson, who had won the ERA title in 1988 and won 33 games between 1988 and 1989. He also hadn't pitched well since then. Al Newman and Junior Ortiz left, but they were bench players. They also lost Steve Bedrosian and Terry Leach from the bullpen. Players Gained - Free Agency The Twins did not make a big splash in free agency. I know. I'm shocked too. Although, the year before, they had signed Chili Davis and Jack Morris, so maybe this isn't a fair fake shock at this time. The Twins did bring Brian Harper and Mike Pagliarulo back. Harper was his typical mustachioed, high-contact self and Pagliarulo was just mustachioed and literally nothing else. Here's a list of players the Twins signed during this off-season: Bob Kipper, Luis Quinones, Mauro Gozzo, Donnie Hill, Keith Hughes and Bill Krueger. It's hard to add that much talent and incorporate it successfully within the existing team. Krueger was decent, going 10-6 with a 4.30 ERA in 27 starts. Kipper was ok, with a 4.42 ERA in 38.2 innings. The other four guys made little impact. Although, Gozzo didn't walk a single batter in 1992! What control! He only threw 1.2 innings and gave up seven hits, but still, no walks! Reverse Moneyball! Plus, he has a great name. TRADEZ! Trades are exciting. The Twins made two significant trades during the 1991 off-season and both trades happened during Spring Training. On March 17, 1992, the Twins traded Midre Cummings and Denny Neagle to the Pirates for John Smiley. As I stated earlier, Smiley was great for the Twins in 1992. He replaced Jack Morris handily. Of course, he left for the Reds after the '92 season, so that kind of sucked. Cummings had a long career, mostly as a reserve. NBD. The Twins may regret trading Neagle though. It took a few years, but Neagle blossomed into a really good pitcher. From 1995-2000, he was 89-47 and posted a 3.64 ERA in just under 1200 innings. You may remember 1995-2000 as the "whatever the opposite of glory years" era of Twins baseball. Less than two weeks later, the Twins traded Paul Sorrento to the Indians for Curt Leskanic and Oscar Munoz. Leskanic never pitched for the Twins and Munoz threw 35.1 mediocre innings in 1995. Sorrento was blocked by Kent Hrbek, so it made sense to get some value for him. Sorrento wasn't a bad player though. For the next six seasons, he posted a .267/.347/.477 triple slash, hit 129 home runs and had 439 RBI. From 1992-1994, Sorrento and Hrbek were basically the same offensive player. Hrbek had a slightly higher OBP, but Sorrento had a better batting average. Both hit 50 home runs and drove in around 190. Both had a 112 OPS+. Sorrento was six years younger and quite a bit cheaper. I'm not saying, I'm just saying. Biggest Splash The Smiley trade qualifies as a splash. Smiley made $3.4 million and cost the team two decent prospects. He was coming off a 20-win season and a third place Cy Young finish. The trade worked out really well in 1992, but definitely hurt in the long-term. Had the Twins extended Smiley, it might look different in hindsight. Smiley was awful in 1993 (likely because he missed the culture of the Twin Cities), but then great from 1994-1996. Back to '92, the Twins lost Morris and needed a replacement to defend their World Series crown. Smiley fit the bill quite nicely. Biggest Miss The Twins gave Bob Kipper a million bucks and I can't really see why. I'm not old enough to remember Kipper, but looking at his Baseball Reference page, I can't figure out why he was worth signing. I know the Twins had lost Bedrosian and Leach, but Kipper just doesn't look good on paper. He wasn't awful, but he wasn't good either. Kipper was fine until July, when he completely fell apart. The Twins released him on July 31 and he never pitched another MLB inning. He literally disappeared (not literally, or at all). My Own Personal Heartbreak I was ten, Dan Gladden had a mullet and I was only human. Gladden leaving saddened me. Arbitrary Overall Assessment: C+ The Twins didn't do anything of note, but they did replace Morris with Smiley. The team was already really talented, so that, plus minor tweaks was really all that needed to be done. Did it work out? Well, somewhat. The '92 Twins were really good, just not as good as the A's. They missed the playoffs and wouldn't get back for over a decade. Next week, we'll look at the 1992 off-season. See you then!

I can't believe that October is upon us! The 2013 season went by so quickly. I am already enjoying playoff baseball and I thought that while I enjoy playoff baseball, I could answer a few questions that have been burning a hole in my inbox. As always, these are actual questions from actual readers of the Word documents that I use to compose my rough drafts. What is your outlook for the 2014 Twins? Brad S., St. Paul, MN Initially, I thought that 2014 would be that year when the team starts to get good. I kind of envisioned a 2001 Twins team of sorts, where they are better than they had been, but still not good enough to make the playoffs. My expectations have changed a bit, mostly because the Major League team was so bad in the second half of 2013. [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK] Originally posted at The Slow However, I do hold out hope that the 2014 Twins could win 75-81 games. A lot depends on what the Twins do in free agency and with trades this off-season. If they can make some smart trades and pick up a piece or two, I think a 10-15 game improvement is possible. The Twins were 36-45 after 81 games. That 72-win pace doesn't meet my 75-81 number, but it shows that for half of the season, the Twins weren't terrible, they were just bad. Of course, the second half did happen and they only won 30 more games, for a 60-win pace. With a healthy Joe Mauer (hopefully), natural development from rookies like Oswaldo Arcia, Josmil Pinto, Aaron Hicks and Kyle Gibson, and the Twins' solid bullpen, I think the team can be a lot better than they were in 2013. If the Front Office picks up a good starting pitcher, then I really do think that 81 wins is possible. Likely? No. Brad, you are my idle. I kneed to know, who are you rooting for in the playoffs? Brad S., St. Paul, MN I tend to root for fan bases instead of teams. I am a fan, not a team. So, I usually gravitate toward the teams with the most tortured fan base. Generally, I pull for the team with the longest championship drought. I do have some exceptions though: I can't openly root for New York, Boston, Chicago or Los Angeles. Those fan bases have too many other successful teams in other sports. So, the Red Sox and Dodgers are out. I don't care for the Tomahawk Chop, so the Braves are out. It's a political stance I suppose, but really I just find it annoying. The Cardinals won a World Series like five days ago, so they're out. Technically, the Tigers have the longest World Series drought of all the AL teams. They also have a player on their team who I am not fond of. He shall remain nameless, in case his family reads this. Let's just say, I've heard things. Unpleasant things. The Rays have never won a World Series, so they seem like the logical pick. However, their fans are kind of sucky and the team hasn't been around very long. That leaves the Pirates in the NL and Oakland in the AL. Pittsburgh fits because they have a tortured fan base. Although, it is worth mentioning that the Steelers and Penguins have been really good the past decade. A Pittsburgh-Oakland World Series would be an advertiser's nightmare, but I would eat it up. I love how rowdy the Oakland fans are. Plus, have you been to Oakland? Would you go back? Let's give them something to enjoy. I can only assume that some other idiot will ask you who you are rooting for in the playoffs, but I want to know who you think will win the 2013 World Series. Mostly so I can point out how wrong you were when it doesn't happen. Brad S's Mom, St. Paul, MN I'll start by eliminating teams for arbitrary reasons: Tigers - Miguel Cabrera is hurt Red Sox - Clam chowder is gross A's - Moneyball Pirates - Tired of plundering Cardinals - They're old? They're probably old. Braves - Tomahawk chop again That leaves the Rays and the Dodgers. I like the Dodgers because they have Clayton Kershaw and I like the Rays because they are the smartest team in the history of civilization and they embrace math. If I was going to send my child to a school run by one of these teams, I'd pick the Rays. This isn't school! It's baseball, nerd! The Dodgers win because they know how to be cool. Yasiel Puig and whatnot. Do you know any talking pumas who also write about the Twins? Brad S., St. Paul, MN I actually did meet some talking pumas recently. In fact, I convinced each of them to write a Twins' 2013 season summary. Paul is an eternal optimist and you can read his review here. Peter says he's more realistic, but sometimes I think he's just negative. You can read his review here. If you enjoy their opinions, check in with my blog as I am working out twin 8 year, $184 million contracts for Paul and Peter to contribute regularly. The Twins outrighted Cole De Vries, Shairon Martis, Clete Thomas and Josh Roenicke from the 40-man roster earlier this week. Who will be joining them on the wrong side of the 40-man before the start of 2014? Brad S., St. Paul, MN Those four guys are a good start. You won't regret losing any of them, if another team is doing a bunch of drugs and decides to claim them. If I had to guess, I'd say that the following fellows will be joining them at some point in the near future: B.J. Hermsen, Eric Fryer, Doug Bernier, and Darin Mastroianni. It's not a huge list and it's probably incomplete. I think that if the Twins need roster spots, there are plenty of other guys who could be gone. Mike Pelfrey shouldn't be retained, but who knows? There are plenty of replaceable guys on this team, that's why they haven't eclipsed 66 wins since 2010. Are you surprised that Ron Gardenhire will manage the Twins in 2014? Brad S., St. Paul, MN Not in the least. The Twins organization is very loyal and I think we all know that at this point. In some ways, it's a heelish move. I think the general fan attitude was that a change was needed or "heads should roll" if you prefer ancient justice to tactful sentiments. It could be that the team made this decision to stick it to the fans. More likely, it seems that this was a move made out of loyalty. I guess that's fine. It's not the statement that I would try to make though. If I had been the GM, here's how I would have handled Gardy's extension. Step 1 - Announce that the team has a new manager, but that he prefers to work under a mask Step 2 - Introduce said manager at an elaborate press conference Step 3 - Invite a fan to shake hands with the new manager at the press conference Step 4 - After the handshake, crush the fan over the head with the Golden Septor Step 5 - Call for the new manager to unmask, revealing Ron Gardenhire, but with a shaved head and black goatee Step 6 - Mudhole stomp the fan for 3-5 minutes, with Rick Anderson helping stomp the mudhole Step 7 - Declare Gardenhire the "Macho King" Ron Gardenhire and proceed with the season as such For me, that's just a better way to do things. I hate to question the Front Office though. I'm a traditionalist. Thanks for all the questions! If you ever truly want to ask me a question, you can send me an email at this fancy new email address: kevinsloweywasframed@gmail.com. Or, you can send me spam like everyone else.

It's been said that all good things must come to an end. Sadly, this will be the final Monday Madness of the 2013 season. I know. Don't blame me though; I'm not the one who decided against a 12 month MLB season. It's time for a break from Twins baseball. After the month of September that we've all endured, a little break might not be the worst thing. I'll try to infuse some fun and positivity in this final Monday Madness of the 2013 season. The Gardy 1000 Well, that was a huge embarrassing failure. Wait, I said I'd be positive. Um. The Twins made a valiant effort to get Ron Gardenhire his 1000th career win. They needed to go 3-4 this week and they only missed it by 2 games. Two isn't bad. That's only about 1% of a season. It's such a small sample. Josmil Pinto Here's some real positivity. Josmil Pinto had a wonderful September debut. In fact, only Chris Parmelee has had a better September debut than Pinto, when looking at OPS and only including players with 50 plate appearances in September. We can ignore the Parmelee part, but knowing that Pinto looks good makes me feel good about next season. Having Pinto gives the Twins more options at catcher. If the Twins can enjoy another 3-5 years of above-average offensive production from their catcher, the rebuild will be somewhat easier. ~~~ Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! ~~~ Mike Pelfrey A recent Terry Ryan interview shocked and awed everyone when he admitted that he was interested in bringing Mike Pelfrey back for the 2014 season. Pelfrey hasn't been a highlight of the 2013 season. He's been one of the more frustrating players for me to watch. He dug himself a big hole in April and May; did he dig out of it? [TABLE=class: grid, width: 492] [/TD][TD]April May June July August September ERA 7.66 5.90 4.66 3.25 3.60 7.45 WHIP 1.93 1.66 1.24 1.34 1.40 1.86 K% 6.5 14.5 15.4 18.1 14.4 21.3 BB% 6.5 9.2 2.6 7.8 10.5 7.5 K:BB Ratio 1.0 1.58 6.00 2.33 1.38 2.86 BABIP .370 .337 .333 .309 .279 .431 LOB% 54.7 69.1 62.0 83.3 74.7 56.2 xFIP 5.57 5.11 3.18 4.45 4.74 3.63 [/TABLE] Well, kind of. In April and May he was a disaster. In June, he was pretty good. He didn't walk anyone, but he was a bit unlucky so his ERA wasn't great. In July, he was worse, but had some strand rate luck and looked better than he actually was. He was pretty bad in August, but finally got some good BABIP luck. In September, he's been pretty poor again, but has a crazy high BABIP and has been generally unpleasant to watch. Basically, he's been really inconsistent. The only reason to sign a guy like Pelfrey for another year would be if you could rely on him for consistently decent innings. The Twins can't rely on him for that. Cut him loose. Oh, and dig up, stupid. Madness Fun Stat Anthony Swarzak threw 96 innings this season without starting a single game. This has only happened 461 times since 1901. Juan Berenguer accomplished this feat in 1989 and 1990 and no one had done it in a Twins' uniform since then. No one in baseball had done this since 2006, when Scott Proctor threw 102.1 innings without starting. Swarzak is a rare bird, especially in this current era. Random Paint Image The Playoffs are starting this week and that means National Coverage. No more Dick and Bert, no more Coom-dog, no more Anthony LaPanda. Here's a dramatization of what I think could happen during the TBS studio show, if things really fall apart. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ghgPaY_jRe4/UkiFf4e5_qI/AAAAAAAABCc/HEaSgMTTIPo/s320/Gallagher.png Look, if you don't get that reference, then you clearly didn't watch as much Comedy Central as I did as a kid and you don't think Dennis Eckersley looks like a certain watermelon-smashing comedian like I do. And really, that's your problem. Former Twin Update - Francisco Liriano Francisco Liriano finished the 2013 season with 16 wins and an ERA just slightly above 3. He has been one of the major reasons why the Pirates season is still in progress. In fact, he'll start the Wild Card game on Tuesday against the Reds and their lefty-heavy lineup. Lefties have hit .131/.175/.146 against Liriano in 138 plate appearances this season. Before the season, who would have ever thought that Francisco Liriano would be starting a playoff game in 2013? Answer to a Hypothetical Facebook Question Nope, not today. It's impossible to find anything positive on the Twins Facebook page. It's my problem really. I only go there for this bit, so it only affects me once a week at most. I can handle complaints. I can handle negativity. I can't handle hostility. There isn't a single Twins fan who has any right to be hostile. No one should be calling Joe Mauer a wimp. No one should be calling for Gardy and Anderson to be hit with bricks. Since 99% of the Facebook comments are hostile, I'm not doing it today. Instead, I asked my 8-year-old cousin to give his thoughts on the Twins' 2013 season: "It was really fun. I actually got to go to two games! They won the second game!" Off-season Plans Monday Madness is ending for the year, but I've got loads of off-season stuff planned. I've got recaps, pumas, predictions, previews, video games, candy, treats, ice cream, lobster and much, much more. This week, I've got two guest columnists doing season recaps and I have a mailbag coming on Friday. I'm going to try to have some fun this off-season, if you want to join me. Parting Thought The Twins 2013 season was unpleasant. The franchise is in a better place than it was in 2012, but there is still a lot of work to be done. I'll do as much work as the Twins allow me, but a more likely scenario would involve the Twins' current decision makers working to improve the team. I have confidence. I think that strides were made this year that weren't seen on the field. If the organization continues down a similar path, I believe the Twins will be a good team in the near future. I've always held that 2014 will be the first year in the on-field turnaround and I stand by that. I really feel that we just suffered through the last 90-loss season for awhile. If I'm wrong, you can all hurl tomatoes at me when I run on the field during a 2015 game. Have a nice off-season, everyone!