Riverbrian

This Circus Boy Update was brought to you by White Castles... Slimy Tasty Little Burgers... I'll bet you can't eat just one.

I'mgonnahavetogivethispunctuationthingsomeseriousthoughtIhavenoideabecauseIhaveneverknownalotaboutcolon'sandthatofcoursetakesmedicaltraining...adegreeIbelieveiswhattheycallitYougottahaveadoctoratetounderstandtheproperuseofacolonandofcoursesurgerycanmakeitasemian18wheelerifyouwill.

That said the same thing. Sometimes I'll repeat things for emphasis. I read it twice and I'm still not sure how punctuation will save the life of the family and dog.

I realize that mail will get delivered to the wrong address on occasion. Is 55% a good success ratio?

I ;need...her!!! She =knows, where all that; punctuation stuff " goes?

The 1st round of the draft was held last night and the Twins stuck in their thumb and pulled out a player from Plum High School and said what a good boy am I. Alex Kirilloff was his name and the people who try to follow such things say he is another toolsy OF with power, speed, contact, arm strength and an ability to open his glove and close it at the correct times. It's like walking into that bar with all those draft choices and the bartender is staring at you waiting for you to decide what lever you want him to pull down. I won’t pretend to know if the Twins have chosen well or not because I made the decision to not drive the Dodge Dart to Pittsburgh to see him play for myself. But if I did… it would be hard for me to compare him against the other draft beer choices… I have no way of knowing. If I was given the choice… I wanted Dakota Hudson… I haven’t see him play, either, but I wanted him because Dakota and Hudson sound like Twins Territory names. That’s my method and I’m sticking with it. Last year I wanted a guy named Hibbing Mahnomen and that just didn’t happen. The Red Sox come to Town this weekend… Kirilloff will not be in uniform… gonna have to wait a bit for his MLB debut. Until then... here are some things to think about: 1. Draft Beer – Beer out of the keg is draft beer. Miller Genuine Draft is served in bottles and they call it Genuine Draft because it’s supposed to taste like it’s out of the keg. That’s Wisconsin for ya… only that state is drunk enough to call that 'genuine.' It just doesn’t seem like a genuine Genuine to me. 2. Draft Horse – A draft horse is a horse that pulls stuff. If it didn’t pull stuff it would be called a “horse that doesn’t pull stuff”. Draft horses are larger and stronger than a horse that doesn’t pull stuff but still smaller than Earl Campbell. A draft horse has never won the Kentucky Derby and they are insulted when the race track patrons yell out “Unhook the Plow” when they lag behind in a race. 3. Conscription – There have been moments in our history that our young men have been drafted into military service. Currently… there is no draft but young men are asked to register with the Selective Service a month before reaching their 18th birthday. This acts like a jack in the box because the draft can pop out rather quickly. As long as nobody turns that handle which produces the song “All around the mulberry bush... the monkey chased the weasel… the monkey thought twas all in fun..." Yes I realize that that song is stuck in your head now. "'Pop!' goes the weasel!" 4. The Overdraft – Our credit score is up around 8 million or something so I’ve never felt the pain of an overdraft. I do remember the disappointment a friend of mine had when he got an overdraft notice. I stopped by his place… and he was holding the notice in his hand and he said… “I don’t know what to do… that was all the money I had and I’m overdrawn by $20 according to this… My net worth is negative 20 dollars." I had his fridge open as he was speaking so I could take his last beer and I told him that he was worth more than that because this jar of olives and the half pack of bologna in his fridge was worth maybe a couple of bucks. 5. The 1st Draft – If you’ve ever wondered how these Game Thread openings get so strange... it’s simple… I don’t allow a 2nd draft. That way I have no chance to come to my senses. But I have an editor. She tries to make sense of it all so you can, too. I said, she tries. ____________________ Lineups: RED SOX Mookie Betts [R] RF Dustin Pedroia [R] 2B Xander Bogaerts [R] SS David Ortiz (L) DH Hanley Ramirez [R] 1B Jackie Bradley (L) CF Travis Shaw (L) 3B Chris Young [R] LF Christian Vazquez [R] C Steven Wright [R] P TWINS Eduardo Nunez [R] SS Robbie Grossman (S) LF Joe Mauer (L) DH Trevor Plouffe [R] 3B Brian Dozier [R] 2B Byung-ho Park [R] 1B Max Kepler (L) RF Kurt Suzuki [R] C Byron Buxton [R] CF Tyler Duffey [R] P Game-time forecast: 89 deg F, 46% chance of rain/thunderstorms, (although another source says it will be clear at gametime), winds at 9mph from the SW. Just for perspective, it's about 20 deg higher currently in Minneapolis than it is in Fort Myers. Hmm. Click here to view the article

I'm confused now I'm just going with Suzuki Kurt

You really have to pull hard to get the Jersey's On.

Oops Months are hard to keep track of

True Story I've been to New Orleans once and I hit Bourbon Street. Walked into the first bar I saw and got a drink and looked around thought it was boring so I grabbed my drink and tried to find someplace new. Heard a band playing a Doobie Brothers Tune "Long Train Running" from outside so I thought I'd go in and check them out. Walked in the door and was walking right in the front of the stage when they stopped and the lead singer says into the Microphone... You Guys Wish you Could Sing Like Me" and I shouted back... "I Can" and he didn't say a word... he jumped off the stage and gave me the mic and he took my drink out of my hand and sat down and the band broke into Born to be Wild like this was just a normal thing... I had no idea this was going to happen so it wasn't normal to me but I got up on stage and sang it anyway. Song ended I got off and handed him the mic back... He doesn't say a word... he gets back on stage and says... "OK... He Can but nobody else here can". I Laughed at that and I looked around for my drink and the guy drained it... Just an empty glass. It was an odd moment that could only happen to me... I'm on Bourbon Street for maybe 5 minutes and Boom... On stage. True Story

Brilliant once again

I gotta do it MANTONLER OK.. I've done it and moving on.

I couldn't help thinking of this

It would be a miracle if your parents played for the Miracle... and therefore I fully support them playing for the Miracle.

It's better for us... if you don't understand

It was Tampa over the weekend and it's Miami tonight as the state of Minnesota gets visited by the state of Florida. This is unique because typically it is Minnesotans who snowbird their way to Florida for warmer climes. Floridians don’t come to Minnesota unless they are kidnapped, bound, gagged and stuffed into a trunk of a car traveling to Minnesota. The kidnapped, bound, gagged and stuffed into a trunk of a car part is a regular occurrence in Florida but the car actually traveling to Minnesota is something that just doesn’t usually happen. The 2016 Minnesota Twins are lot like Florida… surrounded by alligators with sharp teeth and strong jaws that clamp on and do that spin thing that they do. Let’s watch them spin 'round and 'round while thinking about some Things to Think About:1. Old People – Florida has a lot of old people living in the state. Low taxes, warm weather, effective marketing, available real estate and a herd mentality has brought senior citizens down to Florida from all over the place to retire. Yes… Old People have a herd mentality that bands them together. They are genetically programmed to cluster together due to an unstoppable primal force of nature. When they are under attack from predators… they defend themselves like sardines… forming a tight ball while the dolphins and seagulls swoop in and promise them lower prescription drug prices and Medicare. They get picked off one by one on the edges but the core in the middle of the ball remain strong. After they are done feeding… the predators go back to Washington. 2. The Fountain of Youth – Ponce De Leon landed on the shores nearby St. Augustine in 1513. He mistakenly thought he had landed on an island but was corrected when more land was found to the North by a guy named George who was just wandering around drunk on rum. This new island that wasn’t really an island that was discovered by Ponce and Captain Jon Baker was named “Florida” which means “Mother of J.J. Evans.” The locals would tell them stories of nearby waters so restorative that those who drank or bathed in the waters were forever young. The Fountain of Youth does exist… Don Johnson is the only one who knows the location and he isn’t telling anyone. 3. Warm Water – Because of the Gulf Stream and other factors… water temperatures around Florida are typically around 10 thousand degrees and this provides the perfect environment for the growth of Hurricanes and Manatees. In Minnesota… the temperature of the water in our 10 thousand lakes is typically around 45 Below and this provides the perfect environment for the growth of hot dish and fur. 4. Oranges – Florida is famous for production of the orange because the state gets plenty of sunshine and plenty of rainfall. Farmers were spoiled because this allowed them to grow all kinds of things unhindered by agriculturally destructive elements such as the cold and those Zamboni’s that routinely drive over crops in Canada. With all the sun and rain… farmers were able to grow unique things like palm trees and olives which led to Florida becoming the top producer of dish soap. One day an inventive farmer mixed together red and yellow and the rest is history… the orange was created. 5. Introducing the Ocean – Many years ago… I planned a Riverbrian family road trip down to Disney World in Orlando. My sons were young then… perhaps 10 and 6... and they had never seen the ocean before. So I put that on the itinerary because I wanted to give them these types of experiences to broaden their young horizons. They didn’t know that they hadn’t been to the ocean before because we had been to Lake of the Woods and that was big enough, so I told them it was the ocean and they believed me. As we rolled out of Orlando and headed east… I was so excited for them. I could see them playing in the surf… laughing and smiling… trying to jump into the waves and drinking salt water… it was going to be awesome. We pulled into the parking lot and got out of the car and that’s when my wife started to smear about 20 tubes of sunscreen on them. As you know this process takes about 3 days to complete and while the boys were standing there getting gooped up by Mom, my youngest was attacked by ants. Tons of them… crawling up and down his legs and biting him repeatedly and he was in extreme pain. Once you realize what is going on… you do what any parent would do… both my wife and I immediately started beating on his legs excessively in an effort to get the ants off of him. Let’s just say… if you are observing this from a distance… you probably won’t see the ants. ____________________ Lineups: MARLINS Ichiro Suzuki (L) LF Martin Prado[R] 3B Christian Yelich (L) DH Giancarlo Stanton [R] RF Marcell Ozuna [R] CF J.T. Realmuto [R] C Chris Johnson [R] 1B Derek Dietrich (L) 2B Adeiny Hechavarria [R] SS Adam Conley (L) P TWINS Eduardo Nunez [R] SS Robbie Grossman (S) LF Joe Mauer (L) 1B Trevor Plouffe [R] 3B Brian Dozier [R] 2B Byung-ho Park [R] DH Max Kepler (L) RF Kurt Suzuki [R] C Byron Buxton [R] CF Pat Dean (L) P Game-time forecast: Overcast, but only a 1% chance of rain; winds at 4mph from the NW. Go Twins! Click here to view the article

Here's another smaller thing to ponder: Omar Infante is owed 16 million on his current contract. He is currently hitting .239 with no dingers and his butt has been placed on the bench. Higher expectations and a willingness to eat some cash could be considered differences.

I love this quote from Dayton Moore "It's not as simple as saying, 'This is what's going to happen in Year 1 and Year 2.' That's bull. If you make enough good decisions, three-year plans turn into two-year plans and five-year plans turn into three-year plans. If you make bad decisions, 10-year plans turn into no plan."

True but that's also not that simple. Cain wasn't Cain yet. He was a light hitting defensive guy at the time of the trade and they also had Francour and Lough manning RF so OF wasn't exactly blocking Myers. Also... Let me amend my earlier question and phrase it better... like I intended. Would you want Terry Ryan? Trading Buxton, Meyer and Gonsalves for what he felt was a Shields type starter.

The Royals... like the Twins tried to build without spending gobs of cash. Dayton Moore managed to keep his job after years of struggling like Terry Ryan. After that... I don't see many things that are comparable. I remember reading reports that Dayton was out of lengthy rope when he abruptly changed course and put it all on red with the Myers, Odorizzi and Montgomery deal for Shields. Let's not forget about Montgomery he was pretty nice prospect as well. Dayton had to produce a winner or he was gone and I assume this caused him to part with lots of prospects for someone to sit on top of the rotation... actually to fill out his terrible rotation. The Fans hated the move and they probably hated Dayton Moore and the trade probably required a stronger adjective than hate toward Dayton Moore. If the Royals didn't win after the deal... Not only would he be fired but restaurants would refuse service when he tried to order some burnt ends. "Give up Wil Myers did ya... Get out of here". It was desperation that caused him to finally risk it all and when he did... he completely broke away from any Terry Ryan model. He may have declared that he was following the Twins model but it didn't bring him home. As for Wade Davis... In my opinion... he got really lucky but hey... that happens sometimes and he does get credit for that luck because he has a history of turning failed starters into bullpen assets. Hochevar and Duffy for example. Wade Davis was really young (23 and 24 years old) but very average his first two years as a starter for the Rays. In his third year with the Rays at age 25... He was moved to the bullpen... He didn't get a single start that year. No Saves and only 6 holds so lower leverage stuff but his K/9 jumped from 5.14 as starter to 11.13 in the Rays pen. Dayton Moore... I'm just guessing... probably agrees to Wade Davis because Tampa had no idea what they had (neither did Moore I'm guessing) and KC was desperate for starting pitching and his job is on the line. Jeremy Guthrie and Bruce Chen were all they had!!! So Dayton acquires Ervin Santana in an earlier deal and later pulls the trigger on the Shields/Davis Trade to complete the rotation. Dayton's plan went wrong because Davis started 24 games and produced a 5.32 ERA and he was Phil Hughes'd into the bullpen and then the magic happened. Think about this: If this is truly trading places... Terry Ryan just might be in that same desperate to keep your job situation that caused Dayton to trade Wil Myers and Jake Odorizzi and Mike Montgomery. Buxton... Meyer and Gonsalves for who? That would be a comparable trade to what Moore did with his back against the wall. Does anyone want Terry Ryan to make that trade for a Shields type starter?

I don't know... A hundred sounds like a lot... Schulz would have needed time to produce that many.

I wish I knew how to put your "Arghhhh" in a cartoon bubble http://i.stack.imgur.com/QSFeU.png