After piling up doubleheaders the Twins travel to Baltimore and it seems like the weather might follow them. There is a 90% chance of rain tonight and a 70% chance tomorrow night so there might be another doubleheader this week to add to the pile. Good weather if you are a Sea Lion but it's about all that is good for right now... sea lions. They have a serious PR problem after one of them pulled a 5 year old child into the water on Saturday. Back when I was younger… sea lions were always happy balancing a ball on their nose. In case you haven’t seen the video, everybody is ok, but since the incident, authorities have put up additional signage stating “Don’t feed 5-year-olds to sea lions.” Some people need practical advice like that. Just like the warning on Preparation H, “Not for Oral Use;” you know that warning is on the packaging because someone did just that and then probably complained to the company after. “Dear Preparation H… I ate almost the whole tube and it did not cure me. I seriously question your product. I tried to call and complain but my mouth is so small that I can’t speak so I am writing you this letter. I would like my money back”. Here are some things to think about: 1. Baltimore – Baltimore is a big city in between Washington DC and Philadelphia which are even bigger cities and this makes Baltimore the runt of the litter. You all know what happens to the runt of the litter... the runt watches vital resources go to the bigger and stronger around them, and in the wild the majority of the runts don’t survive. Baltimore has provided us all with products that we all know. Under Armour is based in Baltimore and so is McCormick. All those McCormick spices and other stuff that you put on perfectly good food is gathered on the decaying streets of Baltimore, packaged and shipped to us. 2. Our Twins – Are you Negative Nellys still all negative? The team is still in first place so you got to try and shake it off. Purge your soul, perhaps for the imminent collapse. You be me for a while and I’ll be you; it’s not time for the replacements yet. 3. The Orioles – The Royals hit 73 home runs against Twins pitching this weekend but the Royals are not the power team to worry about. The Orioles are the premier power team in the American League. So if the Royals hit 73 home runs… the Orioles have the potential to hit 74. Machado, Davis, Jones, Trumbo, Mancini, Schoop, and even the catcher Wellington, are all serious power threats. Perhaps the threat of rain isn’t such a bad thing. 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation McCarthy: Hey Joe… are ranchers really jolly? Is that where the name comes from? Maddon: Do you really believe that? Do you believe they are called Jolly Ranchers because ranchers are jolly? Montana: Hey, take it easy, Joe… it was just a question. Maddon: How did you get elected to public office, McCarthy? Do you think ranchers are growing hard candy and they are happy about it? McCarthy: OK… OK… sometimes you really talk down to people, Joe. Maddon: I do not… I’m just like everybody else. Montana: You do, Joe… you are being rough on McCarthy and you are not like everybody else. Mauer for example doesn’t talk down to people. Maddon: C’mon, use your brain, Montana. He talks down to people all the time. Mauer: Yeah… I’m 6-5. 5. Tonto - Everyone needs a Tonto. It’s nice having people who support you... people you can count on… people who have your backs no matter what. Tonto was consistently dependable and always there through thick and thin. Despite this faithful companionship… the “LONE” Ranger never dropped the “LONE” From his title. Lone Ranger: I’m all alone Tonto: No Kemosabe… I'm here, too. Lone Ranger: I’m a Ranger and I’m all alone. ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Brian Dozier 2B Robbie Grossman LF Joe Mauer 1B Miguel Sano 3B Max Kepler RF Eduardo Escobar DH Jorge Polanco SS Jason Castro C Byron Buxton CF Kyle Gibson P ORIOLES Seth Smith RF Adam Jones CF Manny Machado 3B Mark Trumbo DH Chris Davis 1B Welington Castillo C Trey Mancini LF Jonathan Schoop 2B J.J. Hardy SS Ubaldo Gimenez P Weather: 72 deg F, cloudy with a 30% chance of rain, low winds ... I think we may get this one in! Click here to view the article