LaBombo

It has been known to make people rotate 90 degrees, drift backward, or even occasionally disappear. I've heard.

Well played. Your wife must have a better arm than mine. Sadly she missed me and hit a major appliance which had neither an extended warranty nor health insurance. Women.

Since Brauny paper towel man's triple I've watching the game on the radio with the sound turned down, but I can still smell defeat. Or maybe it's just the slice of pepperoni pizza I lost behind the couch a few weeks ago.

And rumor has it he's already checking out townhouse lease prices in Cedar Rapids

Is that like when I made a frying pan fly by predicting my wife would gain 20 pounds over the winter?

Me too. I have ESPN.

Let it not be said that the Twins don't aim to please, even in a down year.

Another quest for a Quality Start ends in felony assault and battery on a baseball... Oh, wait, were we saving the pen because of 'Interleague Play'? My bad.

Page 5.

It looks like you're arguing that people should talk less about the mistake of retaining Butera instead of another player because the Twins have made that mistake over and over again. In my experience, repeating a mistake tends to have the opposite effect on how often it becomes a topic of conversation. Not sure what you mean by the last sentence. By definition, a replacement level player has the effect of reducing their team's chance to win by the difference between the value of the player whose place they take and replacement level. Given the difference between Butera's below-replacement level play and that of either Mauer or Doumit, Butera would indeed have a major impact if he were to receive a significant amount of playing time. As for the notion that Benson could almost certainly not contribute to the organizaton, well, the Twins have a starting center batting .123 in three quarters of his at bats, one healthy true center field backup above AA ball with a total of 4 at bats in the majors, and recently made Chris Parmelee stand in center field during a major league baseball game. It seems safe to say that, however unlikely, it was certainly possible that Benson could have had a more positive impact for the Twins than Butera, either this season or in the future. But I wish you well, to some extent at least, in your quest to have the name of Drew Butera stricken from every 40 man roster discussion, every scroll and tablet, every pylon and obelisk, and every monument in Twins Territory. As an extra-peaceful olive branch, I will henceforth refer to He Whose Name Shall not be Spoken as... how about... Son of Sal?

So hard to keep track of that moving target. For what it's worth, if there were some sort of actual link between the Twins' timetable to relevance and my quest for a doctorate, well, it would be bad news based on my initial efforts... Tried some practice MCAT questions, but after some disappointing results my mind wandered a bit and I ended up clicking on an infomercial banner about deer antler spray. All is not lost, however. Turns out that attractive women will totally dig you if you spray it on them, or yourself, or something. So all I need is the deer antler stuff and an interview with a female Twins HR person, and a front office job will be mine. And with it, TD opinion relevance will be mine at last! Will update after some trial runs with magical product.

Not sure I understand. You're saying the Twins will be markedly worse with Hicks in AAA?

Mmmm... bottomless breadstick basket... Just so everyone's clear on the platoon split issue... Hicksie's right-handed slash is currently sitting at a very healthy .257/.325/.571 . Even with a slugging pct 150 points lower (and it decline as the home run spike evens out), most people including me would be thrilled with that as an overall line from both sides for the season. But Hicks is batting .123/ .206/ .184 left-handed, with little or no improvement in the month of May. Whether he drops switch hitting or not, he needs to work on his swing in Rochester.

Thanks, but my post probably won't change any minds, so it looks like my next-best option is medical school. Do they let you do that on the internet? If I really hurry, maybe my opinions (regarding the medical staff, at least) may return to relevance by the time the Twins do. 2018 seems optimistic for both.

Bit of an exaggeration, don't you think? Butera is extremely relevant to this thread, since he represents two important things. The first is that he's a disposable and easily replaced player who could have been cut from the 40 instead of Benson without much concern. The second is that he's a poster child for an ongoing and often unsuccessful struggle by the organization to differentiate between players with value or potential, however small, and fungible assets like backup catchers who bat .167/.210/.239. Gleeman may not represent any sort of gold standard to you and many others, but he's hardly an obstinate crackpot who routinely or randomly beats the anti-Butera drum. Yet Butera was at the top of Gleeman's list of a handful of disposable filler players who would have made more sense to drop than Benson, even without the Twins' current dearth of healthy center fielders. And as for your feelings toward the supposed constant overuse of Butera as a prime example of organizational deadwood, it looks like you've got a good handle on how other people feel about the oft-played universal trump card that our opinions are wrong or meaningless because we're not Terry Ryan or a doctor.

Good points. But with respect to many fans, at least, this won't be a problem if he gets called up. The Twins already have a guy they can blame almost anything on. Hint: he's batting .339, and the rest of the Twins are batting .229 (hat tip to AG).

I'm firmly in Brock's 'meh' camp, which is probably a contradiction in itself. John's take on Benson's value as a prospect sounds right to me. While the injury history raises doubts about whether Benson has totally flamed out as a prospect, he seems like a long shot to succeed as anything more than a 4th OF at best, and that's not terribly valuable in an organization that is widely thought to have plenty of OF prospects, or in a league with plenty of 4th OF's coming and going pretty often, for that matter. On the other hand, this is a franchise that has a starting CF who was promoted from AA ball despite needing at least a full season at every minor league level, and is still batting just .131/.218/.196 against right-handed pitchers. It also has a backup CF who won't play again until after the ASB. It has played multiple games with Wilkin Ramirez in center despite its supposed belief that defense is important. And its now Benson-less AAA affiliate has two CF's, one who is injured and one who has 4 more AB's than my dog does in the majors. Overall, it seems like a good time to have nearly absolute faith in the front office. Benson gone? It's because he has no value to the Twins. Not even if Hicks needs to be sent down? Hicks doesn't need to be sent down because the front office thinks either that he'll be fine or it won't matter if he is or not, which means that either he'll be fine or it won't matter. Promoting Gibson would've made it moot? The front office thought it wasn't in the best interest of the franchise yet, so it's a non-factor. In a season where the maneuvers of the Twins braintrust increasingly resemble the calm strategic chess moves of a squirrel on an interstate highway, the Benson saga is simultaneously an outrage and par for the course. Meh.

If Ryan got a trout for Butera, I'd be at that alter too. Some of us have lower expectations. From Ryan, not Butera.

Will do. Expedient yet brilliantly untraceable camo choice unless you punched the wall very high or low. More time for you to watch the most improbable Twins resurgence since 1991! 2013 rotation picture for the board is a great idea, but standard dart board is only about 18" in diameter, so if you keep it updated the faces might get pretty small by the time it's all said and done. PS Obscure, imbedded pop culture reference about small faces in that last sentence is a subliminal message that things are going to get better. Eventually.

Do you own or rent? Rental Method I: Crumple newspaper. Stuff into hole. Cut cardboard from delivery pizza box or 12 pack carton to match the shape of the hole. Glue or tape into place against newspaper. Apply toothpaste to any gaps. Spray paint area using closest available match from hardware store or Target. Probably some variation of 'off white', I'm guessing. Rental Method II: Use only in an emergency, or if deposit return inspection will be done by the pharmaceutically-enlightened manager/tenant you're buds with. Take picture of wall from 3 feet or so in a spot where it's not damaged. Download to computer and print the picture, your own PC or Kinko's if none. Tape or glue picture over hole. Own: Will get back to you after experimenting with various repair methods on the head-sized hole made in my hallway after tonight's loss, which was the 10th in a row despite the assurance of many that the Twins starting pitching couldn't help but be better, and the offense would be at least as good. Sorry, got off-topic at the end there.

Sanchez had 12 strikeouts tonight. Twins starters have 12 over their last 6 starts combined. Good thing K's don't have much to do with pitching well... Disclaimer: Shamelessly cribbed from KTWN talking head, in the same postgame blather where he repeatedly claimed the score was 5-0.

Which of our pitchers was he regarded as a better hitter than?

Losing... is a disease.... as contagious as syphilis. http://redlineroundup.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/losing.jpg?w=500

Can't believe the resemblance didn't occur to me before... http://www.tchuddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/terry-ryan-ap2.jpghttp://nanozen.info/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/yoda_reflective_468x265.jpg Hypothetical conference call to Rochester: Ryan: "Failed has Pedro Hernandez to learn the ways of The Force. To the minors he must go, and to the majors must come Sam Deduno. Gene Glynn: "Uhhhh... ....well, hate to lose him, but Kyle Gibson has been throwing pretty well for us, sir." Ryan: "The path to a more downward plane his fastballs must learn, or to The Dark Side will they find their way". Gardy: "You ok, Terry? Would ya like some of the spare Eggwhite Mcmuffin in my pocket? The boys are still battling their tails off, and Gibby would look awfully good in a Twins uniform and let them know we're all about winning now. He's letting the defense make plays and keeping them in the game by working fast". Ryan: "For 800 years have I managed this baseball franchise. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be promoted." Jack Goin, former call center kid and current statistical analysis golden/whipping boy: "Deduno has Blackburn-esque non-K peripherals and an unsustainable strand rate. And hitters can hit his pitches in the zone with their eyes closed." Ryan: "From fangraphs such things I could learn... if wanted to I had. Powerful with the Dark Side hitters like Darth Cabrera may be, but a strong influence Deduno's stuff will have on the weak-minded". Jack Goin: "Why are you randomly swapping subjects, predicates, and other parts of speech? And who is 'Darth Cabrera' ?" Ryan: "Because speaking like a wise, empowered, bald Star Wars character character I was." Goin: "Never paid attention to Star Wars. Star Trek was better to the nth power. Also, are you starting to realize that Hicks is as unready as I warned you?" Ryan: "To your desk you must return, and from it all your office possessions in a simulated wood-grain cardboard box you should place". Gibson, bursting into Glynn's office after already finding out via Rick Anderson's tweet that he's not getting the call: "My arm is strong and I'm not afraid to face major league hitters!" Ryan: "You will be. You...will... be".

Hey, look at the bright side. At least Hicksie got a hi... Oh. Wait. 0-5 and 3 more K's. Reminds me of the Steven Wright one-liner: "There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot". And I would say there's also a fine line between being 'patient' (and how is having Hicks skip a level 'patient') and just burying your head in the sand.