Rejected Trade Offers For Twins All Star Joe Ryan

Below is a rundown of six different trade offers that the Twins have received for their rotation superstar, Joe Ryan. It was leaked when Sweet Lou Hennessy was accidentally included in a Signal group chat with top decision-makers within the Twins’ baseball operations department. The Twins have declined to comment on the record, but they assured the public that Hennessy would not be welcomed back to the Target Field press box unless he starts bringing treats again. 

Jon Morosi of MLB.com insists the Twins would need to be blown away with an offer if they were to part with Ryan.

And while the offers that were leaked certainly blow, the Twins appear wise in their decision to hold off on trading their best starting pitcher (for the time being, at least). 

Here are the potential deals that they left on the table:

New York Yankees - The Bronx Bombers were one of the first teams to call on Ryan, and their offer reportedly centered on Clint Frazier and Miguel Andújar. It’s a bizarre proposition, as neither of these two sluggers is still in their organization. and one is out of professional ball altogether. 

Rationale for Rejection: The Twins were enticed, but ultimately felt like making this trade would send their organization back to 2017, when this trade package was first floated by New York rubes on Twitter. Plus, the mere thought of Ryan donning Yankee pinstripes is enough to make Twins Territory’s randiest fans collapse into themselves like a dying star. Oh, and acquiring Frazier would go against the Twins’ strict “no redheads” rule, implemented after the S*m Dys*n fiasco.

Boston Red Sox - The Sox’s interest in Ryan has been well-documented since a handful of their scouts descended upon Target Field over the last few weeks. Their presence hasn’t exactly been a secret, as they’ve left a trail of Dunkin’ Donuts cups and wrappers in their wake. Their offer centered on a couple B-level prospects and a promise to stop making fun of the Twins for cutting David Ortiz more than two decades ago.

Rationale: The Twins declined this offer, mostly to get the loud, obnoxious "chowda heads" to finally leave them alone. Like, seriously, we all love Bill Burr. Stop trying to be Bill Burr. 

Cincinnati Reds - Their initial offer for Ryan has to go down as one of the biggest trades in professional sports history. Knowing that the Reds and Twins have linked up on multiple occasions and have an affinity for similar player types, the Redlegs offered an unprecedented full-team swap for the two clubs. Yes, Ryan would be the centerpiece of a deal that includes 51 other players. 

Rationale: The Twins balked at this offer, not only because the Reds only find themselves a couple games ahead of the Twins anyway, but because it would be a logistical nightmare trying to make travel arrangements for so many players. Mike Herman, the Twins’ Director of Team Travel, threatened to push TC Bear off the Truly On Deck balcony if this offer was accepted. 

Tampa Bay Rays - Ryan’s former club made a late offer that included Nelson Cruz, along with former Twin Zack Littell. However, the Twins turned that down. 

Rationale: “No backsies!” - Derek Falvey

Chicago White Sox - The Pale Hose made the first trade offer of its kind just before the break, offering new owner Justin Ishbia in exchange for Joe Ryan. Loyal KFAN zombies were licking their chops at the thought of new ownership, as the Pohlad family has seemingly plagued their every waking moment for the last 30-plus years, but the Twins ultimately declined. 

Rationale: The Twins did a lot of introspection and self-analysis when their fling with Ishbia ended in heartbreak back in March. They were ready to jump head-first into a real relationship, but instead, they were forced to watch as their biggest suitor rekindled things with his ex down in Chicago. Declining to revisit that part of their past wasn’t the decision that the Twins wanted, but it was the one they needed, and now they can move on after accepting that closure.

Chicago Cubs - The Cubbies offered the Twins Minnesota natives Michael Busch and Caleb Thielbar, along with their top pitching prospect coming into the year, Cade Horton, who currently sports a 4.45 ERA across ten big league starts. It’s by far the most realistic offer on this list, but the Twins still turned them down. 

Rationale: It’s a very strong offer, certainly, but the Twins didn’t like the idea of making the Cubs any better. Pretty much everything in the world has sucked since the last time they won the World Series in the fall of 2016, and the world would be a better place if the Cubs were cursed again.