Twins Owner Tom Pohlad Tries To Win Back Fans From Front Lawns With Boombox Serenade

[Lou Hennessy]

Image courtesy of Purple Wolf Graphics

After a disheartening campaign in 2025, Ben Weber decided to drop his Twins season ticket plan heading into this year. He felt his relationship with the club had grown stale, and he needed to find out who he was apart from his longtime favorite franchise. 
But love doesn’t give up that easily, and neither does Twins owner Tom Pohlad. 
“The day after I cancelled my full-season package, I woke up to the sound of some music playing from my front yard,” Weber said with some confusion in his voice. “I looked out my window and saw Tom standing in my yard holding something over his head that I guess is called a boombox? I don’t even know what that is. I was born in ‘96.”
Pohlad was doing his best impression of John Cusack from the hit 1989 movie "Say Anything." In the film, Cusack’s character tries to win back his heartbroken lover with a boombox lifted above his head, playing Peter Gabriel’s hit “In Your Eyes” from her front lawn. It was supposed to be a touching display of vulnerability and defiance against her father’s wishes. 
All this comes after a report from The Athletic’s Dan Hayes (an 80s heartthrob in his own right), that stated Pohlad made multiple cold-calls to departing season ticket holders in an effort to smooth things over and reignite interest in the club. Apparently, he even left voicemails for those that refused to answer his call. 
“A voicemail?” Weber exclaimed with a chilling shudder. “Literally my worst nightmare. If there’s anything I hate more than answering a call from an unknown number, it’s getting a notification that they left me a message. Absolute psychopath behavior. Oh, and now he’s showing up to my home address. Perfect.”
It’s unclear if Pohlad’s effort will lead to any renewed interest from disheartened fans, but it’s clear that he wants to put all of his energy toward turning enthusiasm around after multiple difficult seasons. If his cold-calls, and now front lawn serenades, don’t work out, it sounds like he has a few more tricks up his sleeve. His next move would be to meet these fans at their doorstep with queue cards (so that the rest of the household doesn’t get suspicious) a la "Love Actually". He’ll drop the cards one by one while looking longingly into their eyes as they read. 

“With any luck, by this time next year, we’ll be hoisting a trophy”
“But for now, let me say without hope or agenda”
“Just because it’s ticket renewal season (and at renewal you tell the truth)”
“To me, your 20-game flex plan was perfect”

He’ll go on to reiterate his family’s utmost commitment to fielding a competitive team by any means necessary (well, almost). 
“Look, I’ll buy some tickets. That’s fine,” says Weber while mounting a new deadbolt to his front door. “Just please leave my property.”
 

View full article