I'm sure you've all heard the news by now, but Rhett Bollinger (Twins beat writer for MLB.com) reports that Joel Zumaya, newly acquired righty reliever, "intends to stay healthy" this season. The main point of this article (I'm guessing since have only actually read the headline) is that in the past years, Zumaya has gone into the season looking to get hurt. "In 2010, I went into the season with one goal: breaking my arm while pitching," Zumaya probably said in this article that I didn't actually read. It's good to know that his goals for this year include staying healthy. Check out related articles... "Valencia hopes to sure up his defense" and "Marquis wants to try Walleye On A Stick in 2012"

Shouldn't be an issue for Z, considering I haven't heard a release date for the new Guitar Hero....

Very good. This would make an interesting forum topic: headlines you want to see become true.

"Nick Blackburn aims to strike out batters, not suck."

"Joe Mauer's claims he's going to 'Kick some 'bilateral ass.'"

"Ben Revere: I'm totally gonna hit the ball past the pitcher this year."

Please lord, start this topic.