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Dave The Dastardly

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Blog Entries posted by Dave The Dastardly

  1. Dave The Dastardly
    Author's Note:  The game we attended was on July 23, so I apologize for the late report. But our intent wasn't a game report as much as a players scouting report. 
     
    My son (Dastard Junior) and I made the one-day trip down-and-back to Cedar Rapids to catch a glimpse of the Twins High-A Kernels. The four-hour drive (one-way) proved to be a small price to pay. As others have mentioned on TD, the ballpark is great, the fans are friendly and the Kernels are well worth watching. Our tickets were on the first deck, just to the 3rd base side of home plate, so we had a great view of the action. Temps were near 90 degrees but our seats were in the shade (thank God!) so we didn’t fry.

    Dastard Jr. had seen the Kernels play several times before hand but at other stadiums, so a home Kernels game was a first for both of us. Junior, because he’d seen the team play before, and me, from the info I’d picked up reading the Minor League reports on TD, both had a general idea of the Kernels’ caliber of play and which players we might find most interesting, but even then we were still surprised.

    Here, in no particular order, is a brief synopsis of the players that caught our eye.
    Noah Cardenas - DH. The question we kept asking ourselves was “Why is this guy here?” Not that we thought Cardenas was overmatched, but rather why he was still in High A. Normally a catcher, Cardenas was DHing this day, and if I remember correctly, he went 3 for 3. Batting prowess: in the later innings the opposing team brought in a pitcher with an exaggerated overhand motion (the ball seemed to come out of his hand above his head) which baffled a couple Kernel batters. Then Cardenas stepped up to the plate and calmly rifled a single into right field; easy peasy. Best comparison: Arraez.  Pre-game stats: 3 hr  .283 ave 16 dbl .803 OPS
    Not sure how well Cardenas does defensively as a catcher (has also played 1st base) since he was DHing, but this kid is going to be a major league hitter even if they have to find him a spot on the grounds crew.
    Andrew Cossetti - Catcher-  Cossetti is built like the typical catcher but has surprising speed on the base paths. We saw him go 1st to 3rd on what you’d expect to be an advance to 2nd on a single to RC. In fact I was following the ball, expecting to see Cossetti standing on 2nd when the throw finally came in, only to be stunned to find him standing on 3rd. My son and I exchanged a wide-eyed look of amazement: a catcher with wheels? Good receiver behind the plate. Seems to know how to handle pitchers. Got a “presence” on the field. The only negative, if there was one, he short-hopped a throw to 2nd on a steal attempt. Saw him do the same thing several times on the last throw to second in pre-inning warm-ups. Also he might have lost a high foul ball behind the plate, Ross charged in from 3rd to get it, but that might’ve been one of those “sun-in-the-eyes” things. Whatever. We think this guy’s got a future behind the plate. Power hitter more than a spray hitter like Cardenas, 10 hr, 19 dbl .297 ave .981 OPS.
    Can’t imagine how the Kernels are getting enough playing time behind the plate for both Cossetti and Cardenas.
    Noah Miller - Shortstop.  This young man took our breath away on two different plays. He’s fast, rattlesnake quick, got a good glove, excellent range and a cannon for an arm. He was deep in the hole when one of those broken bat hits dribbled past the pitcher… thought for sure it was going to be a cheap infield hit when all of sudden Miller appears on the infield grass, snags the ball and guns it over to first in time to nail the runner by a stride. Later a hot grounder just got past an extended Ross at 3rd, again looking like a sure hit, when Miller swooped in from nowhere, nabbed the ball at the edge of the outfield grass and fired a bullet to first that nailed the runner. My old timers first comparison reaction: Greg Gagne. And like Gagne, Miller isn’t much of a hitter. 5 hrs 9 doubles.  .208 Ave.  .588 OPS But you don’t have to hit .300 to play short in the Majors. Just ask Correa.
    Ben Ross - 3rd base. Excellent range, good glove, another cannon arm, hit the walk-off single that won the game. This prospect has played every position (mostly 1st and 3rd) except catcher and we watched him play a very good 3rd base this day. An excellent athlete, obviously, but from what we saw today 3rd base just might become his permanent home. With him at 3rd and Miller at shortstop nothing will ever get through the left side of the infield. And he has power. 14 hr, 19 dbls .255 ave.,  .778 OPS.
    Kala’i Rosario - RF. Explosive contact! Before the game began my son told me the ball explodes off Rosario’s bat, has this different angry whack sound. First time at bat Rosario smoked a line drive to center field that if a few feet lower would’ve decapitated the center fielder. As it was it screamed over the center fielder’s head (already playing deep) and whacked into the wall like an anti-tank rocket. This kid’s got power! 13 hr, 20 dbls,   .271 ave.   .862 OPS. Oh, and he’s got an arm, too. A cut-off man’s wasted on this guy.
    Emmanuel Rodriguez  - CF. Speedy - covers a lot of ground. Good arm. Kind of reminds you of a younger Buxton. Defensively that is. Got some pop, too. 6 dbls, 11 hrs, .228 Ave .827 OPS
    All in all, an entertaining trip, saw some good baseball and we agreed to make Cedar Rapids an annual outing. Maybe extend the trip to follow the Kernels to Beloit; baseball roadies.
     
     
  2. Dave The Dastardly
    As stated in the above title, I have undertaken this semi-scientific study for two reasons; both inadequate. Number One: as an experiment on publishing a chart on TD without losing the format I painstakingly created, and Number Two - no, not that number two, although a comparison could be made - as yet another way to kick around a few numbers, calculations, and problematic propositions in order to stave off complete insanity as the plunging thermometer frosts all windows, bars all doors and somehow mysteriously drains all liquor cabinets. Unless of course one had the perspicacity to adequately prepare for the end of the world.
    Justification... uh, justified, allow me to explain my line of thought, or as we like to say in the middle of January, catch my drift. A little winter humor there.
    Runs, you see, (no, not the runs that often originate from over imbibing, but the runs scored, or not, on the baseball diamond) determine winners and losers. You score more runs than the other guys you win. It therefore behooves (always like to use that word - sounds kind of... horsey) a manager to construct his lineup so as to maximize run-scoring opportunities. Now in the old days, I know, that's so last century, you constructed your lineup so batters that had a knack for getting on base batted before guys who had a knack for driving in said on-base guys. Sounds like your Aunt Helen; simple, but in truth (which if you can believe my wife, I often tend to stray from; "Yes dear, this is only my second drink") it is not as simple as it sounds. At least until I undertook this analysis.
    I have therefore attached a chart depicting the Twins top-ten RBI generators from the 2022 Fade Away Season. You will probably astutely note that the Top Ten RBI Chart only lists seven players. That is a deliberate "mistake". Since three of those Top Ten RBI guys from '22, like our chances of making the playoffs last year, have faded away and therefore are of little value in contriving 2023 batting line-ups, I have excluded them.
    The chart ranks the players by RBI; mostest on the topest, leastest on the bottomest, the latter not to be confused with bottomless, as in the depths Minnesota sports teams have plummeted.
    Column headings, I believe, should be self-explanatory except for the last; "RBI/ManOB%". I'm sure there's a stat somewhere that better categorizes this but basically it shows the percentage of RBI's delivered with runners on base without hitting a homerun. I debated naming it "Clutch Hit" but that would've been too easy. I know, I know, there's all sorts of factors that could go into these calculations but I'll leave that to the stat guys who either have more or less time to waste than I do and can better define it.
    Suffice it to say, according to my chart Miranda is "Mr. Clutch" as he is most likely to drive in a run with men on base. Polanco comes in 2nd and Gordon is 3rd "clutchiest".
    Surprisingly, Buxton comes in dead last. Though I would suspect that batting 1st or 2nd in the lineup, nobody on, and hitting a homerun accounts for that. But Jeffers coming in higher than Kepler and Correa? Holy Balls, Batman!
    Anyway, looking at the chart, how would you organize these seven in a lineup to maximize scoring opportunities?
     
    Quiz on Friday
     
     

  3. Dave The Dastardly
    Okay, so the Twins have "Farmed" out shortstop. Unless of course the FO goal is to quickly swap Farmer for two PTBNL, a broken down reliever and a partridge in a pear tree. Anyway, I asked Daddy Warbucks to give us a quick assessment of the financial impact of swapping the two shortstops.
    Stats (2022)
    Player       Salary     WAR     HR     Ave (Maria?)     RibEyes       OPS      Cost per WAR     Cost Per RBI
    Correa      $35 mill    5.4      22        .291                     64            .834       $7 million           $546,875
    Farmer     $3  mill     1.0       14         .255                    78            .701        $3 million           $   38,461
     
    If you're the Twins accountant (or the Run Creator Coordinator), who's your Daddy?
  4. Dave The Dastardly
    Shortstop Angst

    According to Team Rankings (https://www.teamrankings.com/mlb/stat/double-plays-per-game) the Twins ranked 23 out of 30 teams in double plays per game with an average of .73. Pre-Correa (2021) the Twins averaged .85 per game. Twins finish in the division? 3rd in 2022, 5th in 2021.
    Number One on the list, St. Louis at 1.11 per game.
    Last on the List? NY Yankees at .65.
    Which of the three teams made it to the play-offs? Cards and Yankees. Ponder that.
    Fielding https://www.baseball-reference.com/leagues/majors/2022-fielding-leaders.shtml
    Double Plays Turned at SS 2022
    1. Mateo Baltimore 91
    2. Seager Texas 91
    3. Perdomo Arizona 83
    4. Lindor NYM 82    
    5. Bogaerts Boston 78
    21. Correa 51
    Putouts at SS 2022
    1. Lindor 198
    2. Swanson Atlanta 193
    3. Baez Detroit 187
    4. Rojas Miami 184
    5. Mateo 181
    15. Correa 157
    Assists at SS 2022
    1. Mateo 417
    2. Seager 407
    3. Bogaerts 401
    4. Swanson 391
    5. Lindor 385
    19. Correa 307
    Games at SS
    1. Swanson 161
    2. Turner LA 160
    3. Lindor 159
    4. Bichette Toronto 157
    5. Mateo 149
    18. Correa 132
    Shortstop Salaries (https://www.spotrac.com/mlb/rankings/salary/shortstop/)
    1. Correa $35,100,000
    2. Lindor $34,100,000
    3. Seager $33,000,000
    4. Turner $21,000,000
    5. Bogaerts $20,000,000
    5. Baez $20,000,000
    8. Swanson $10,000,000
    15. Rojas $5,500,000
    28. Bichette $825,000
    32. Mateo $709,500
    38. Perdomo $701,300
    How badly do we need Correa?
     
  5. Dave The Dastardly

    Blog
    The word down at Ichabod Crane’s Pub and Pablum: Head Cases Welcome is that Sano is to be traded to the San Diego Padres for four DisneyLand tickets, a 12-pack of 2019 Homerun Baseballs to be used only in the bottom of the 9th when the Twins are trailing and a Player To Be Named Much Later. In exchange the Twins will pick up Sano’s remaining 2022 salary in full, throw in a week’s stay at Madden’s Resort, a signed copy of “The Prospect” (in case it rains while staying at Madden’s) and a 12-pack of Grain Belt; whether it rains or not.

    The local chapter of Sabermetrics is reportedly bummed out by the deal as they will no longer be able to measure Sano’s long balls… Wait, let me rephrase that, they’ll no longer be able to measure the distance of Sano’s moon shots, which played an asymmetric role in calculating the Sano Whiff Wind Rate, which in turn was used by Xcel Power to calculate the potential megawatts created by their wind generators in western Minnesota that is usually handicapped by the reverse breeze generated by South Dakota’s natural suckiness.

    Ichabod’s chief bartender, Four-Finger Frank (so named for an accidental brush with a blender of Bloody Mary’s - lending truth to the nomenclature) said his regular patrons accepted the news with aplomb, which is slightly less explosive than a bomb, and a round of celebratory drinks was quickly ordered, the tab eventually provoking an argument as to who placed the order, said dispute later settled by a dart tournament that left only two customers not wounded and who agreed to split the tab rather than risk a hole-in-one.
  6. Dave The Dastardly
    You're the manager, you've run about 20 reports off your computer, had three statisticians, a data geek and a borrowed nun from St. Francis explain esoteric stuff that went right over your head and had you daydreaming like Goldie Hawn and you've now retreated to your manager's office and are debating about throwing darts at the player's roster, wondering who you're going to start at 1st Base. But Fast Frankie, the team's towel guy, has stuck a purple post-it note on your desk that you can't avoid:
    Arraez   .346   .420   .499   .869
    Miranda  .260   .299   .463   .762
    Kirilloff   .269   .319   .407   .726
    Sano   .093   . 231   .148   .379
    And you wonder why Fast Frankie wants you to know the players' locker combinations.
    Who would you start at 1st?
  7. Dave The Dastardly
    The Years of the Rookies: 1982 and 2022

    I’ve mentioned in several (okay, numerous) posts that as far as I was concerned the 2022 season is primarily a “look-and-see” season for the Minnesota Twins; a fish-or-cut-bait season for testing out those promising young players that have been shining at the minor league level. Are they ready to play at the major league level or aren’t they? If they are, we’re a contender in 2023. If not… back to the Baseball Trade Casino looking for “deals” followed by another couple seasons of wallowing in baseball hell.
    That’s why I argued back before spring training even got started that the Twins needed to move Sano, Donaldson and Cave to make room for Kirilloff, Larnach, Lewis and Miranda. Did I think these four rookies were sure things? No. But I did think they showed “promise”; that is, enough talent to be at least as good as the older players on the team and hopefully, better in the long term whereas Sano, Donaldson and Cave were all on the downhill slide of their careers. There is no future in the past.
    Anyway, reminiscent of the early 1980’s Twins team, which also brought a number of rookies up to the major league level, I prepared a chart comparing the 2022 rookies to Gary Gaetti and Kent Hrbek so as to gain a perspective how this year’s “experiments” are doing as compared to a solid ball player like Gaetti and a star player like Hrbek, both mainstays on the team throughout the 1980’s.
    Draw your own conclusions. Me, I think we’re headed to baseball’s Pearly Gates in 2023.
    *Lewis I left off because of his latest ACL injury, though I think most of us were ready to declare him a future star before he went down.
    * Stats are current as of 1:46 PM 6/29/22
    * Hrbek finished second in Rookie of the Year Award in 1982 to Cal Ripken, Jr.  Gary Gaetti finished 5th.
     
    Hitting Comparisons
    Player
    Games
    ABs
    Ave.
    OPS
    Larnach
    51
    160
    .231
    .712
    Miranda
    42
    138
    .239
    .696
    Kirilloff
    21
    65
    .231
    .560
     
     
     
     
     
    Gaetti 1981
    9
    26
    .192
    .615
    Gaetti 1982
    145
    508
    .230
    .723
     
     
     
     
     
    Hrbek 1981
    24
    67
    .239
    .659
    Hrbek 1982
    140
    532
    .301
    .848
     
     
     
     
     
    * Interesting to note how many games Gaetti and Hrbek played that season.
     
     
     
  8. Dave The Dastardly
    Okay, CBA negotiations are going nowhere fast, the start of spring training is only a wish, games are somewhere out there in the distant future, we're getting tired of reading about hypothetical trades, we're contemplating stepping in front of a pitching machine loaded with rocks... what can a fan do to get his baseball fix?
    Some time ago, probably 20 or so years back, during another long Minnesota winter, I began writing a baseball novel. I dicked around with it every winter since, adding a little, revising a little, revising earlier revisions a little, etc. etc. Well, defying my wife's skepticism, (though she's usually right) I finally finished it. That's right... It's done. Miracle of miracles!
    Anyway, being a Twins fan, I centered the story around a mythical Twins organization, so there's a contraction sub-plot cooked in there and you might recognize a fictional version of a well-known Minnesota character or two, but it mostly revolves a young pitching prospect that loses his way, overcomes some personal failures and eventually works his way back to what he was born to do; pitch in the major leagues.
    Appropriately enough, it's entitled "The Prospect" and is slowly becoming available through a number of e-book stores including Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple, Kobi, ya da ya da ya da. Cost you less than half the price of a stadium beer ($3.39) but it's a long read that should last you through the baseball drought till spring. Then if the lock-out isn't yet over, well, I'll have to start writing another baseball book.
    https://books2read.com/u/m2YaJ7
  9. Dave The Dastardly

    Micced Up
    Fly On The Dugout Wall
    Rocco Baldelli/ Wes Johnson
    “Was that a strike?”
    “It almost hit him in the ankle, boss.”
    “So it wasn’t a strike.”
    “Nope. Not even close.
    “Should I take him out?”
    “It’s only the first inning, boss.”
    “Yeah, but if he isn’t throwing strikes… that’s bad, ain’t it?”
    “You don’t want to bring in the bullpen just yet, boss.”
    “Why? Are they bad?”
    “Most of the time. But the point is if you go to the pen too early we’ll run out of pitchers before the game is over.”
    “Whaddya mean? We got La Turtle don’t we?
    “That’s La Tortuga, boss.”
    “Same difference. We got ‘em here don’t we or did we forget and leave him in the minors again?”
    “No. He’s here. That’s him out there in centerfield.”
    “That’s not Buxton? He moves likes Buxton.”
    “It’s Astudillo.”
    “Who?”
    “La Tortuga.”
    “So why’s he in centerfield?”
    “You gave Buxton a couple days off, boss. You thought he looked exhausted after playing for a whole week.”
    “He played a whole week? Straight? What is he? Superman?” Should we put him on the IL?”
    “I think he’ll be okay, boss. At least until his next injury.”
    “All right, but if something happens to him while he’s sitting on the bench it’s your ass, Wes.”
    “Yes, sir.”
    “By the way, who is pitching for us? I don’t recognize the guy.”
    “Neither does anyone else, boss. The guy showed up before the game, said he’d been claimed   off the town ball waiver list by the Front Office… let’s see, here it is… yup, he was pitching for the Climax, MN town team. Says here he won a couple of games… yup, threw a no-hitter against Fertile, MN. I hear those guys are pretty potent.”
    “There! By God that was a strike, wasn’t it?”
    “Yes, sir. Right down the middle of the plate… looks like it’s still going. Let me give the stat guys a call. Find out the launch angle on that one. Could be a moon shot.”
    “How ‘bout the exit velocity? You get extra runs for that, don’t you? Exit velocity? We don’t need to give up extra runs, Wes.”
    “No, sir. We don’t. There easy enough to come by the way it is.”
    “Why don’t you go out there. Find out what the hell his name is. Check and make sure he isn’t hurt already. He coulda got whiplash following that dinger out of the stadium.”
    “It’s still only the first inning, boss. I go out there now and the next time we gotta pull the guy.”
    “Who made up that rule?"
  10. Dave The Dastardly
    We used to say clever things in baseball, using words that conveyed a sense of excitement; a sense of action. A batter delivered a crucial hit and you’d hear/read things like “Kepler drives in a run!” Or “Escobar scores on a key hit up the middle!”
     
    “Drives” and “scores” are commonly used and easily understandable verbs that connote action and excitement. That’s a good thing.
     
    But now if you read game wrap-ups on the Twins official site, our guys don’t do exciting things anymore (Which is true in more ways than one). Now our runs are “plated”. What the hell does that mean?
     
    I asked that very same question of the American Dictionary. Guess what, the big American Dic doesn’t know either. There’s “plates” - the things most of us non-barbarians use to hold our food until we shovel it down between burps - and there’s “plating”; coating an object with some sort of overlay.
     
    So I guess if Twins batters “plated” a baserunner, it means they coated him with something; gold, bronze, cheap veneer, liquid horse manure? And how do they accomplish that? They got like a spray gun or something underneath their jerseys they whip out and hose down the incoming baserunner before they take off for first themselves? Or maybe they use one of those electroplating gizmos; they stick a couple probes into the baserunner as he goes by and then hit the juice, leaving the runner coated in galvanized gray. You know, in case he has to stand out in the rain during outdoor baseball.
     
    Okay. Maybe I’m a purist, or even an anal retentive pedantic, but you know what, it’s irritating enough following the Twins while wearing a bag over your head without having to reach for the ear muffs and blinders, too. So for the sake of Twins fans’ sanity everywhere do us a favor Twins reporters and use some action verbs when describing what little excitement takes place on the field.
     
    Don’t make me come over there and plate you!
  11. Dave The Dastardly
    A worse fate for Cold Omaha could not have gone as well
    As watching the team called the Twins go completely to hell.
    There are infielders in the outfield and young outfielders looking in,
    Batters missing pitches and ineffective pitchers in the pen.
    Old arms are throwing homers while young flamethrowers are being hosed,
    Sitting in the minors counting the years on their toes.
    The manager seems baffled, the front office unaware
    While fans are leaving the stadium headed anywhere but there.
    Minnesotans are masochists, winter proves that to be true
    But even a loyal Twins fan can’t shiver when he’s blue.
    There seems to be no answer, no solution to the drought
    Except to start the massacre and throw everybody out.
  12. Dave The Dastardly
    I didn't catch (neither did JR Murphy) all the game last night even though it was at the top of my priority list. Why? Berrios, the latest Twins pitching Messiah, was supposed to take the mound. As it was I turned on the radio in the third inning and... Berrios was gone! Gone! Like in no longer in the game! The third inning! Okay. Like Forrest said, things happen. The kid might've fallen off the mound, caught a liner with his teeth, collided with Boy Mountain Sano while taking the field... Hell, he might've been abducted by aliens, transported right off the mound. Or maybe, just maybe, he was under the mound waiting to do that Lazarus thing when things got hairy. But it was already hairy. I think it was like 8-2 in favor of the Tigers when I tuned in.
     
    Okay. So what happened to the kid? Along about the 5th inning the radio announcers mentioned Berrios in passing... Wait a minute. Bad choice of words there. Unless he was going to attempt that Lazarus thing. Anyway, I learned the Messiah had gotten torpedoed after two thirds of an inning. Two thirds? Is that like two outs, or 45 minutes? Whichever comes first? Anyway, that was it for information on Berrios.
     
    So what happened to the Messiah? Couldn't find the strike zone? Was he serving up fatballs (that's not a mispelling)? Did he fall off the mound and break his leg? So I checked the Twinkies web site this morning; no mention of Berrios. So did the aliens really get him? And then zap the stadium with mind-erasing lights so no one would remember?
     
    Or is he already on the bus back to Rochester - the place where all Twins prospects go until they're "ready". It's sort of like Hotel California... you can check out whenever you want but you can never leave.
  13. Dave The Dastardly
    Okay, you’re 8-25, 14 games out of first and one fifth of the season has already gone by the wayside. So what do you show for video highlights on your website? A single that drove in a run? A couple of catches in the outfield? Granted, getting an RBI is a rarity for this team, even a clean catch in the outfield is something to write home to mom about, but come on, is that all real baseball fans have to look forward to this season? What’s next? Mauer chewing bubble gum? A surreptitious sunflower seed spit that clears the bench railing?
     
    Let’s face it. Twins baseball isn’t baseball anymore. It used to be fans went to the ballpark to see a competitive game, to watch their favorite players make great plays. Nowadays “fans” are there for the “experience”; good views of the field (but with no idea of what their supposed to be viewing), novel food items (sold at outrageous prices), social media contacts (with other “fans” who are there to stare at their smart phones) and of course a chance to acquire a new souvenir as proof they’ve actually partaken in the “experience”. For these fans, great plays are optional. Besides, they’ll probably be eating nachos or buying a T-shirt when the great play is made anyway. Maybe they’ll catch the replay on ESPN the next day.
     
    Call me a curmudgeon. Call me a cynic. Call me anytime but during a Vikings game, but I think us oldtime baseball fans have to admit it; there’s nothing for us to watch (except in horror) when the Twins take the field. This team isn’t built to win, it’s built to entertain the mindless masses. When the main attraction is a different food on a stick, or a strange dish created by a fat chef from Timbukto, who cares if the team can’t catch, can’t hit and can’t pitch? It’s the experience, man! Gimme a side order of nachos with that! And one of them $8 beers. Make that two. What? There’s a game going on?
     
    So as long as the experience-seekers are buying tickets, there’s no incentive for the Twins organization to try and field a competitive team because it makes no difference if they’re competitive or not. You can sell a ticket and a footlong hot dog to a fat guy who wouldn’t know a bunt from a line drive just as well as you can to the schmuck who’s following the game by keeping score, except the fat guy might eat two or three footlongs while he’s “experiencing” whereas the scorekeeping fan won’t want to take his eye off the game; except to slip the paper bag over his head.
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