Parker Hageman

With the calendar flipping to 2014 tomorrow, Twins fans must be eager to hurry that process along. After all, the previous season was a mire with yet another 90+ loss year on the ledger. Although no one should be criticized for having his attention wander from the team before spring training, there were still plenty of entertaining moments to remember - little things that make the entire sport of baseball beautiful. Below are the Top 10 moments from 2013. [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK] Honorable Mention: Glen Perkins Pitches With Fly Down Just what it sounds like. (h/t cjzero) 10. Aaron Hicks: Card-Carrying Member of the NRA He has to be when you see his gun. It should be no surprise considering teams were thinking about drafting him as a pitcher out of high school where he threw upper 90s cheddar on the mound. Turns out that velocity translates well to the outfield. At Yankee Stadium, after letting the ball carom off the wall, Hicks caught up with it just short of the warning track and delivered a bullet to third to nail the Yankees’ Vernon Wells who was looking for the extra base. http://www-thescore.s3.amazonaws.com/images/128017/original.gif?1373685892 Wells was just one of Hicks’ nine outfield assists in his rookie year -- that was the highest number of assists for someone with so few innings (701 innings). (h/t @cjzero) 9. Oswaldo Arcia Tries To Bo Jackson His Bat, Fails All rookies have a tendency to struggle as they adapt to a higher level of pitching. Oswaldo Arcia was no different. While demonstrating mouthwatering power at times, he also went through a long stretch where he could not make contact with a pitched ball. With it, apparently, came frustration. In Tampa, Arcia could not take it anymore. After another K, he tried to take it out on his bat but the bat -- presumably not weakened by contact -- wouldn’t give. (h/t Me and my Vine) 8. Darin Mastroianni’s Belt-Busting Grab Mastroianni, who spent a significant portion of the year sidelined with a foot injury, showed that he can cover a sizable amount of real estate. In limited time, he made plays on 32 of the 34 balls in his zone while playing outfield. Additionally, he managed to snag eight more that were outside of the typical fielder’s zone - including this one in Houston. While thwarting this should-be extra base hit, Mastroianni lays out on the warning track. In doing so, the coarse Texas dirt did more damage to his belt than a night at Old Country Buffet. Mastroianni was saved by borrowing the pants holder-upper from a member of his bullpen: http://media.giphy.com/media/qIVLNZgDkH3a0/giphy.gif Just a reminder that baseball is the only one of the four major sports to have belts as a part of their uniforms. (h/t Giphy.com) 7. Brian Dozier’s Glorious Hair After an unsuccessful season at shortstop in 2012, Brian Dozier moved one position to the left. There, he displayed solid glove work and, occasionally, flashy plays like this one. http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/sports/2013-07-22/4fbe6b3b-dcf8-45b2-b295-d5d01a72c81f_792979101.gif OK, so it is less about the actual catch and more about the Hollywood hair. This must be female baseball fan’s equivalent of watching Phoebe Cates climb out of the pool in slow motion in Fast Time At Ridgemont High. Makes you feel all funny inside; like climbing the ropes in gym class. It is clear he lathers, rinses and repeats. Repeating is so important. (h/t: Yahoo Sports Big League Stew) 6. Joe Mauer Is An Athletic Freak The study of measuring a catcher’s contributions has grown exponentially among the statistics crowd with the proliferation of framing studies and data. While the jury may still be out on how much value those extra strikes can provide a team, having an athletic freak of nature wearing the tools of ignorance still pays dividends. Case in point, with a relay from Hicks-to-Florimon-to-home gone awry Mauer, a towering former football and basketball recruit out of high school, leaps in the air to secure the errant throw and adjusts to tag out Boston’s Stephen Drew at the plate. Simply amazing to watch. http://25.media.tumblr.com/1b955bbd97d21fdfb481e9f235111d1c/tumblr_mmepjgAkJy1ro5xweo1_400.gif With the move to first base set for 2014, Mauer should be remembered as one of the game’s most athletically gifted catchers because of plays like this. If that is not enough, surely this honorable mention will convince you that he has not just a sixth but a seventh sense for the game of baseball: http://mlb.mlb.com/assets/images/custom/tumblr_mo4u1rJw0i1ro5xweo1_400_tl8m82rv.gif (h/t Drawn To MLB) 5. Justin Morneau High-Fives Nobody Justin Morneau had a career-high streak of 168 at-bats without a homer when he busted out with a long one on June 20. When he returned to the dugout, his teammates gave the veteran the big snub. Rather than succumb to their silent treatment, Morneau threw out a bunch of air fives. http://24.media.tumblr.com/4f8041853d4ee14d411b3eb43c930dfb/tumblr_mooadxEIyH1ro5xweo1_400.gif Traded to Pittsburgh at the waiver deadline, Morneau has signed with the Rockies and rejoined former teammate Michael Cuddyer who, according to former Twins teammates, distributes an extremely painful high five. (h/t Drawn to MLB) 4. Ballboy Makes Second Best Catch At Target Field Paul Neshek, former Twins reliever Pat Neshek’s brother is patrolling the left field line. The White Sox' Alexi Ramirez laces a liner that is destined for a fan’s face. Neshek leaps from his perch and snares that mofo before it can do damage. Look at the clearance he gets in order to intercept this missile. Your browser does not support iframes. http://wapc.mlb.com/play?content_id=28195859[/media] (h/t MLB.com) 3. Jared Burton Knocks Out Brian Duensing Oh, the fun you have in a bullpen. http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18wsij6rrs5gmgif/ku-xlarge.gif Apparently, former teammate Matt Maloney had the idea of miming a knockout punch in the bullpen and so when Chris Colabello (Italian for “Beautiful Cola”) launched a drive that would clear the Twins bullpen in Chicago, Brian Duensing told Burton to throw a punch, to which Burton obliged. Naturally, the results were amazing. (h/t Deadspin) 2. Trevor Plouffe Goes Ass Over Tea Kettle In Kansas City For A Foul Ball For good reason, Plouffe takes a lot of heat for his defense at third. This was not one of those times. http://25.media.tumblr.com/d4045af080a521b040774f74dd46b465/tumblr_mr45xe8f091ro5xweo1_400.gif (h/t Drawn To MLB) 1. Chris Parmelee Makes Twins Fan Lose His Effin’ Mind Chris Parmelee, giving Justin Morneau a reprieve at first, chased a Milwaukee Brewer foul ball towards the camera well near the Twins’ dugout. The ball appeared well out of reach of Parmelee’s grasp, easily being a play that could have been given up on. Instead, Parmelee superman’d himself over the padded gate, over the three concrete steps down and somehow found the ball as he landed at the feet of FSN’s Marney Gellner. It was a play that was made with complete disregard for human life. http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr05/2013/5/30/12/anigif_enhanced-buzz-10353-1369931506-13.gif OK, so full confession: the reason this was - in my opinion - the best play of 2013 was because I saw the play up close and personal. With seats on the rail, the foul ball tailed off the field of play and was headed directly to where I was sitting. In fact, I believe I called it in the air. The ball, however, landed a few feet short of my outstretched hands. Fixated on the ball the entire time, I completely missed Parmelee’s approach. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw a white blur diving and gloving the ball before landing hard on the concrete surface below. Outside of seeing my daughter being born, it was the single-greatest thing I have ever eyewitnessed. Thus, I made this face: http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr05/2013/5/30/12/anigif_enhanced-buzz-10359-1369931744-19.gif Buzzfeed later dubbed it a “Mom made Pizza Rolls” face. I defy any of you to watch the play from the same spot I had and not to have had the same reaction. (Bonus fact: That’s my Dad doing the double-barrelled fist-pump next to me.) (h/t Buzzfeed)

A "No Geek Week", Twins Daily's Parker Hageman fills in for John Bonnes and joins Aaron Gleeman at 612Brew.com to talk Twins. Topics include partying at The Gleemanor, Alex Meyer the substitute teacher, dropping Darin Mastroianni from the 40-man roster, throwing televisions off balconies, hypothesizing about Masahiro Tanaka, the Hall of Fame and Jack Morris, Kurt Suzuki threatening Josmil Pinto, and mailbag questions from listeners. You can listen by clicking below, download us from iTunes or Stitcher or find it at GleemanAndTheGeek.com. Gleeman & The Geek: Episode 126

In their efforts to repair the damage of three straight 90-loss seasons, the Twins front office acted decisively this offseason. And, sure, maybe part of this decisive plan was to steal an idea from the Blues Brothers and get the band back together, adding a name that (at the very least) will remind fans of happier times. Following a two year hiatus of not [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]having a player named Jason Kubel on the roster, Terry Ryan rectified that by signing one to a minor league deal. In his time away from the organization, Kubel had a solid 2012 with Arizona but a fall-off-the-face-of-the-earth 2013 season saw him get cut from the Diamondbacks and finish the year in Cleveland. The offensive slide stems from a lack of contact, specifically when facing fastballs, and injuries likely played a factor in that decline. The Twins are making the bet that Kubel can rebound from the atrocity he committed last season. While Kubel’s deal comes with no guarantee he will see time in Minnesota, the free agent told sources that he felt he had a better opportunity to play with the Twins than with another team which offered a major league deal. Because Kubel will conceivably fill the role of left-handed outfielder/designated hitter in the lineup, Ryan Doumit’s role was marginalized. Doumit, who also had a solid 2012 but a far worse 2013 season, said that because of concussions and age, he was less interested in catching and wanted to spend more time in another position. The Twins now had a cheaper version of Doumit in Kubel. This redundancy on the roster allowed the Twins to pursue a trade of Doumit. The Braves, in need of a catcher/outfielder, traded their system’s fourth-best prospect, left-handed starter Sean Gilmartin. Furthermore, if projection systems are in any way reliable (they are not) Fangraphs.com’s Oliver projection suggests that Kubel (.724 OPS) will slightly outperform Doumit (.710) offensively. In theory the swap gives Minnesota added depth at the high-end of the minor leagues, saves $500,000 in Doumit’s salary and gives the potential for greater production on the major league team. More Top '13 Stories: #13 - Twins in the WBC #12 - Drew Butera Traded

Consider it phase two of Terry Ryan’s sinister plan, Getting The Band Back Together: According to 1500ESPN.com’s Darren Wolfson, the Twins have inked Jason Kubel to a minor league deal. In November Pioneer Press's Mike Berardino wrote that outfielder Jason Kubel, who was released by the Cleveland Indians earlier in the day, would be interested in a reunion with the Minnesota Twins. [PRBREAK][/PRBREAK] "Yeah, for sure,” Kubel said. “I loved it here. I really miss the guys. I had a great relationship with Gardy, Andy (pitching coach Rick Anderson), (Joe) Vavra — all the coaches and the few players I remember that are still there. I love the guys over there.” Kubel certainly loved the guys, but he had a different feeling towards the ballpark. When he departed to Arizona as a free agent, he reminisced about Target Field: "It's no secret that a lot of people didn't like Target Field to hit there," he said. "I just feel like here, I can use the whole field and still put up power numbers instead of trying to pull the ball in the air to get it out. I did get in trouble trying to do that too often, and it showed in the numbers." But he cannot blame Target Field for his 2013 woes. In his first year in Phoenix, Kubel thrived. He posted the second-best OPS of his career. He mashed 30 taters. He justified the first-half of his two-year, $15 million dollar contract. And then? Pfft. Nothing. What happened? One of Kubel's biggest issues in 2013 was his inability to handle fastballs. According to ESPN Stats & Info, in 2012 Kubel hit .298/.368/.616 with 20 home runs and a whopping .309 well-hit average. That dropped considerably in 2013 when he finished the year hitting .261/.315/.400 with just 3 home runs and a well-hit average of .171 off of fastballs. (2012) (2013) Opponents attacked the upper portion of the zone more in 2013 (37% versus 30% in 2012) and Kubel’s lack of bat speed resulted in far less contact and power output. While Kubel may be a bounce back candidate after his 2013 season, the Twins are not in need of a corner outfielder or designated hitter at this point. Oswaldo Arcia, in theory, can provide just as much production as the former Twin can. Nevertheless, the minor league agreement provides the Twins will some needed veteran depth without clogging the major league roster with additional corner outfielders and designated hitters.