Riverbrian

Los gemelos son el equipo local. Because this is an historic two-game series played in Puerto Rico, that first sentence was in Spanish out of tribute. It is an important sentence. I don’t know even if I translated it correctly (check disclaimer below), but I will leave it up to anybody curious about the content to look it up for themselves. It is important information that could influence the game. Francisco Lindor and Roberto Perez of the Indians are natives of the island along with Jose Berrios and Eddie Rosario of the Twins. Jose Berrios is from Bayamon, which is near San Juan on the northern coast, while Eddie Rosario is from Guayama on the southern Coast. To get a sense of the geography from a Minnesota perspective, if San Juan was Minneapolis, Jose Berrios would be from Edina and Eddie Rosario would be from Rochester… about an hour to the south. Using that same geographic scale, my hometown of Grand Forks could only be represented by a Carnival Cruise ship sailing past. Disclaimer: I do not speak Spanish… if you blindfolded me and dropped me in the middle of a Spanish speaking country, surrounded by people who speak only Spanish… I would be unable to find the bathroom. The last time I couldn’t find the bathroom was 30 years ago. I had a lot of rum and the friends of mine who hosted the party were horrified to find me the next morning passed out in the walk-in closet. Breaking News: The National Weather Service out of San Juan has issued a blizzard warning effective from this afternoon until Thursday morning for the entire island of Puerto Rico. Snow will be heavy at times with total snow accumulations between 16 to 20 inches of snow. Brisk northwest winds gusting to 70mph will reduce visibility only to stuff directly in front of your face in open areas. Travel is not advised. Here are some things to think about: 1. Top Non-Trump News Story (Or Stories): Netflix announced today that they added 7.4 million subscribers in Q1 which comfortably beat projections of 6.6 million. The Society for Social Interaction also announced today that 7.4 million less people left their homes in Q1. 7.4 million less people attended sporting events, church, nightclubs and outdoor activities because they were binge watching every episode of “The Office” and “Orange is the New Black” for the 22nd time. 2. Our Twins: I don’t know… I got nothing to report on the Twins. They haven’t played in 4 days… I don’t know who is hot or who is cold and I don’t think the players know either… they haven’t played in 4 days. Now… I do expect an illness issue to develop in the club house because the players spent multiple days in below-freezing temperatures, capped off by a weekend of a strong winter blizzard, followed by a quick flight to the Caribbean and upper 80-degree temps. The American Medical Association strongly advises against quick temperature changes because it can lead to illness, specifically people turning into werewolves. If you have ever wondered why so many baseball players have long, nasty-looking beards. That is why… they have turned into werewolves going from spring training to northern cities. Yep… that’s right. Dallas Keuchel is a werewolf. Now you all understand why. 3. Cleveland: If this was a week ago… my first sentence could have been about how the Indians offense is really struggling. However… it’s not a week ago and the Cleveland has been heating up at the plate. Time can really suck sometimes. 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation: McCarthy: Guys… I have a serious question to ask all you. Give it some thought before you answer. Morgan: Alright… shoot McCarthy: What is your biggest concern about the future? Maddon: That’s easy… I am very worried that there will be no post offices in the future. Mauer: A massive meteor crashing into the forests around Bemidji, setting off a massive fire that blots out the sun, killing all plant… Morgan: I’m not worried about global warming at all… Mauer: That wouldn’t be global warm… Morgan: I’m worried that Pete Rose will never make the Hall of Fame. Montana: I’m worried that Mauer will stop paying for everything. McCarthy: Amen to that. 5. Rain Dancing: This past weekend, I did a lot of research on rain dances. The Twins weren’t playing so I had to do something. Anyway, what I discovered was quite interesting. Some rain dancers are rarely successful while some are very successful. The most successful rain dancers in the study had degrees in meteorology. ____________________ Lineups: CLEVELAND Francisco Lindor(S) SS Jason Kipnis(L) 2B Jose Ramirez(S) 3B Michael Brantley(L) LF Edwin Encarnacion(R ) DH Yonder Alonso(L) 1B Yan Gomes(R ) C Tyler Naquin(L) RF Bradley Zimmer(L) CF Corey Kluber(R ) P TWINS Brian Dozier(R ) 2B Joe Mauer(L) 1B Miguel Sano(R ) 3B Eddie Rosario(L) LF Logan Morrison(L) DH Eduardo Escobar(S) SS Max Kepler(L) CF Robbie Grossman(S) RF Jason Castro(L) C Jake Odorizzi(R ) P Game-time forecast: Mostly cloudy, but it's not going to rain (or snow), 75 deg F, winds at 9mph from the ENE. Click here to view the article

The Wild could use Moya in Goal.

You really can't go wrong. We are pretty directionless.

Morrison: I can hit it right through people.

I've got a much higher grade because I also agree about Morrison.

We say "Welcome to Twins Daily" Logan Morrison says "Blah Blah Blah"

Escobar... Ruled a Hit? My fantasy baseball team says thank you to Stu Thornley.

Dear Logan, Step out of the Box... Take a look. Everybody is standing on one side of the field. Sincerely Riverbrian

I didn't notice it. Now that I have. It's better than Ashburys Gonna Ash.

For Those About To Rock by AC/DC is also in the key of EM. Just sayin.

When you start referencing Beans. You know you've become Massachusetts.

Dear Mr. Sano, Think Pitch Selection Sincerely Riverbrian

Good for Joe!!!

To forget? To avoid Dehydration? Attempt at Weight Loss?

That was anti-climatic Joe

Coach: Next time I want you to guess before the Ump makes the call.

Coach: It's tough to judge with that trajectory.

Baseball is a game of miles.

Number of people attending a Miami Marlins game?

Bad to the Bone?

You are Normally... We only talk baseball.