Riverbrian

LOL... Yes that would work but honestly... I was just trying to express that an ex-Tiger attacked by an actual Tiger would be almost as interesting as Joe Mauer getting attacked by Mary Kate and Ashley. Or Mike Moustakas getting attacked by Meghan Markle.

So far... I had the foresight to draft him in the 2nd round of my Fantasy Draft. I was able to ignore the noise of a bad spring training and made the selection. As of April 9th, 2018... I'm a genius.

I'm a Comma Chameleon.

I have never worried about Tigers having ironic abilities at all. On the other hand... With a Gorilla... I'm extremely careful to get everything correct.

He spent quite a few years in Detroit. A Tiger attack would be irony. At least that is what Allanis Morrisette told me.

When Derek Falvey and Thad Lavine were hired around 18 months ago, Twins fans had no idea what they were getting but they are starting to find out. The combination is showing a creativity that has never been seen before. Having a bald eagle attack the opposing starting pitcher was brilliant, out-of-the-box thinking. They got the idea after watching what the Eagles did to the Vikings. It may not have worked to full intention but it is something that can be improved upon. After reading through the entire MLB rulebook, there is no provision that specifically prohibits wild animal attacks on opposing players. Ironically, a wild Siberian tiger will deliver the game ball to Justin Verlander tonight. Here come 5 things to think about: 1. Top Non-Trump News Story (Or Stories): Scientists from a California University may have found an innovative way to cure hearing loss. The scientists have figured out a way to deliver a drug into the inner ear that will stay put and repair or regenerate damaged neurons which is believed to be the wiring that allows hearing to happen. This stunning new development was announced in front of hundreds who suffer from hearing loss. The response to the announcement was rather subdued because nobody was able to actually hear the announcement. 2. Our Twins: It’s too bad that the Twins didn’t get a chance to play yesterday. Sunday could have been a day to wash the bad taste of Saturday out of our mouths. It’s still too soon to be happy with Sano and Escobar and it’s too soon to be worried about Morrison or Duke. But I am wondering if the time isn’t exactly right to be worrying about Hildenberger. Those were a bunch of meatballs tossed right down the middle. He might want to start placing the ball in some other locations… locations like Rochester, Pawtucket, Lehigh Valley, Norfolk and Toledo. 3. The Astros: These guys still look pretty dang scary on paper and they are looking pretty dang scary on the field as well. I’m looking for a weakness but I can’t find one. Hitting, pitching, power, speed, bullpen... they seem to have it all. But… but… consider this… maybe they are not taking everybody else seriously after winning the World Series, maybe they think too highly of themselves after winning the World Series, maybe they are tired from all the extra baseball played winning the World Series last year. I call it World Series kryptonite!!! 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation: Morgan: Guys… have you all been reading the news? Maddon: Of course… I like to stay informed in between pitches. Morgan: I’m really worried that my Facebook personal information has been data mined. McCarthy: C’mon, now… don’t you think you are being a little bit paranoid? Montana: Some guy with pink hair says that personal data has been mined from as many as 87 million. Mauer: Everyone is going to know I’m from St. Paul, what dog video’s I’ve liked and who I’ve been creeping on. Morgan: Information that’s all in the hands of the Russians now. McCarthy: Russians? Why do people get so excited about Russians? 5. Visit from a Cat: I was at a friend’s house and his cat jumped on my lap. I realized it was just looking for some attention and I didn’t mind. I made it purr with a really slow, full-body, non-stop, deep rub from the top of its head all the way down its spine to the base of the tail. The poor cat went immediately limp and it didn’t seem to recover so we took it to the vet immediately. It was a massive stroke. ____________________ Lineups: ASTROS George Springer(R ) DH Alex Bregman(R ) 3B Jose Altuve(R ) 2B Carlos Correa(R ) SS Marwin Gonzalez(S) LF Brian McCann(L) C J.D. Davis(R ) 1B Jake Marisnick(R ) CF Derek Fisher(L) RF Justin Verlander (R ) P TWINS Brian Dozier(R ) 2B Joe Mauer(L) 1B Miguel Sano(R ) 3B Eddie Rosario(L) LF Logan Morrison(L) DH Eduardo Escobar(S) SS Max Kepler(L) RF Byron Buxton(R ) CF Jason Castro(L) C Lance Lynn (R ) P Game-time forecast: Mostly cloudy, 37 deg F (but will feel like 29), winds at 10mph from the WNW, little to no chance of precipitation. Go Twins! Win Twins! Click here to view the article

Dear Logan Morrison, I know you can hit a home run. You have proven it with 38 home runs last year. However... there were 563 PA's where you didn't hit a home run last year. It looks like they are shifting pretty hard on you. Please learn to push a bunt past the pitcher to the open third base position. Learn to take the free base they are giving you instead of just banging your head against the wall over and over again and doing that on purpose. Sincerely, Riverbrian

Slumps don't last forever but it doesn't mean we have to endure the full brunt of them either. I join you in your request for LaMarre playing time while he has the hot hand.

I'm cheap... you are a drunken sailor. I'm taking the savings on the catcher scarcity over pay and adding it to the pile necessary to bring in a big scary hitter that doesn't have to wear a face mask.

Agreed The new regime obviously was implementing a new philosophy with the Castro signing and that had my full blessing because the presence of Suzuki suggested that the old regime did not have a similar philosophy. Now that Castro is in place and the new regime is in place. My hope is that the new philosophy is now implemented from the top on down. Going forward... my hope is that our catchers arrive from Rochester and have graduated from the Falvine School with at least a 3.8 Grade Point Average.

Personally, I would never overpay for catching. I'm hoping that Jason Castro is the last Free Agent Catcher signed and that is nothing against Jason Castro. I believe Catching should developed by the organization from the ground up and whatever they hit.. .they hit. Once they arrive at the big league level. They should be on field managers and extensions of the pitching staff/team pitching philosophy. If the Pitching Coach, Bullpen Coach and Manager is having a meeting talking about pitching. The Catchers should be in the room and part of the discussion. I think if a pitching staff is struggling as a whole. Accountability is not only on the pitchers and pitching coach but the catchers as well. Whatever they hit is a bonus.

This winter has been a little different than past winters. A typical winter would have the occasional 30 below days and the occasional 30 above days. Neither of those extremes happened this year. Instead, it was a constant below average all winter long, never extremely cold or unseasonably warm, just a constant below average and this seems to have carried on into April. This is the backdrop for Opening Day in Minnesota. You can go build a snowman outside and then go watch the SanoMan at Target Field.1. Top Non-Trump News Story (Or Stories): Youngstown, Ohio is having a problem with zombie raccoons. Authorities have received over a dozen calls in recent weeks about odd raccoon behavior inside the city limits. The raccoons have been seen approaching people, standing up on hind legs, showing their teeth and then falling over unconscious. These raccoons are quickly rounded up by authorities and then euthanized. Meanwhile, Carrot Top is allowed to continue doing whatever it is that he does without intervention. 2. Our Twins: I don’t know how the Orioles and Pirates are going to rank at the end of the year or even how they rank right now, but after five games against the Orioles and Pirates on the road, I’m satisfied with the 3-2 record as the Twins return to Minnesota for the home opener. We haven’t seen anything concerning at all: the hitting has been good, the starting pitching has been good, the bullpen has been good. Welcome home, Twins! Don’t do what I do when I get home… you need to keep the momentum. What do I do when I get home? I’ll leave that up to all of your imaginations. 3. The Mariners: Both the Twins and Mariners have identical 3-2 records just 5 games into the season. The Twins are tied with the White Sox for the AL Central lead. The Mariners are already 15 games behind the Houston Astros. 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation: Morgan: I can’t believe how cold it is here! It’s April… it isn’t supposed to be this cold! McCarthy: I don’t feel a thing… 100 degrees… 10 below. It’s all the same to me. Mauer: Yeah, you never see a ghost wearing a coat. McCarthy: That’s true… Besides… coats would make us less stealth-like. Montana: I’m warm guys… I’m not wearing a coat, either. Morgan: How can that be? Maddon: Thermoreceptors Mauer: What? Maddon: Thermoreceptors Morgan: (Stares at Maddon for a while) (Turns to look at Montana) How can that be? How are you warm? 5. Job Negotiation: I just went through a brutal job negotiation, it was worth it because you have to make your deal going in. The final negotiation sticking point was an office with a window. I’m happy to say that we were able to reach a compromise. I get the office with the window but I’m not allowed to look outside. ____________________ Lineups: MARINERS Dee Gordon(L) CF Jean Segura(R ) SS Robinson Cano(L) 2B Mitch Haniger(R ) RF Kyle Seager(L) 3B Daniel Vogelbach(L) DH Ryon Healy(R ) 1B Ichiro Suzuki(L) LF David Freitas(R ) C James Paxton (L) P TWINS Brian Dozier(R ) 2B Joe Mauer(L) 1B Miguel Sano(R ) 3B Robbie Grossman(S) DH Byron Buxton(R ) CF Max Kepler(L) RF Ryan LaMarre(R ) LF Ehire Adrianza(S) SS Mitch Garver(R ) C Kyle Gibson (R ) P Game-time forecast: Do I really need to go there? Okay, I will. Cloudy, 37-38 deg F, 10% chance of precipitation, winds at 7mph from the WSW. And I think this will be the best of the weather for all the games, unless any are post-poned. Click here to view the article

Thank You. This is an important post.

If you are down by 7 runs in the 9th inning... You don't need a home run... you need 6 base runners before you need that home run. If the Twins were stupid enough to give them a base runner via bunt by shifting. The Twins got what they deserved.

The Twins should have thought of this before. You can definitely see the value of having a starting staff with a 0.00 ERA. We have spent too much time worrying about Buxton and Sano and the offensive future. Just get a starting staff that doesn’t give up a run and you are good to go. This is sustainable… This is not a small sample size folks, there are only 159 games to go.1. Top Non-Trump News Story (Or Stories): Tonight the College Basketball Championship game will be played in San Antonio. It’s Michigan vs. Villanova for all of the Marbles. I’m getting kind of nervous for the religious future of the state of Michigan. It was Michigan that beat whoever that Catholic School was with a 98 year old nun as a head coach. If Michigan were to win the title… they will have to beat another Catholic School in Villanova. In Hockey… Michigan is matched up against Catholic School Notre Dame in the frozen four. I do not want to speculate what happens if the Wolverines run the table… but I assume… it will be divinely taken out on the Lions as usual. 2. Our Twins: Since the first 3 starters in the rotation did not give up a run, I’d imagine that raises the expectation bar on Lance Lynn just a little bit. 21 Innings of shut-out ball is impressive enough but it’s more impressive when you consider that only 5 hits were allowed over those 21 innings and 19 batters were given a Scarlet K. No pressure Lance… none at all. 3. The Pirates: There isn’t a good feeling in Pittsburgh since they did a little dismantling over the off-season. There is still plenty of talent in the Pirates system but it just isn’t going to feel like it when you trade Cole and McCutchen. The Pirates are going to have a hard time expressing; that they know what they are doing, to the Pirate Fan. The slogan they are using: The Pirates… We Can Come Close Again. 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation: Maddon: Hey Joe… Did you have a great Easter with the Family? Mauer: We were in Baltimore so… not really. Morgan: You guys won… Big Win over the Orioles… Good start to the season. Mauer: Oh the team is fine… Joe asked about Easter with my family… that didn’t go so well. Montana: What Happened? Mauer: The Girls ended up crying… it was a mess. McCarthy: Why? Mauer: I don’t know… I woke up real early. I looked around for a great place to hide the Easter Egg Baskets. They woke up later and they were real excited… I’d tell them if they were getting warmer or colder and they were laughing… about an hour later they were in tears and my wife yells at me… Dang it Joe, Enough!!! Get in the car and take them to their baskets. 5. Easter Sunday: I woke up yesterday morning, was relaxing a little, when my wife walked in and said, do you remember what day it is? To be very clear, I would have had the answer immediately, if she wasn’t the one who asked the question. Whenever your wife asks if I remember what day it is. There is a natural defense mechanism that triggers and makes you think, Birthday? Anniversary? Valentine’s Day? You got to quickly cover the ones that will get you in trouble out of self-preservation and that will blow Easter out of your mind for a while. After an uncomfortable pause… I managed to blurt out “April Fools” which was the first thing that came to mind under pressure (her arms were crossed and she was looking at me). It was technically correct, but not what she was getting at. It ended up working because I was able to make the long pause seem like the obligatory “April Fools” joke. She has no idea that I was honestly struggling to come up with Easter and it’s been almost 28 years and my wife still isn’t completely aware of just how stupid I am. Click here to view the article

I last wrote a game thread opener on October 3rd, 2017. After the conclusion of that disappointing loss to the Yankees, I turned off my brain for the off-season. All this week, I’ve known that I will have to crank it up again but I’m having a little trouble getting it started up after the long layoff. I know that I’ll need to pump a little fuel into the carburetor so I’ve been pushing the primer button (my nose obviously), but now I’m concerned that I’ve flooded it because I have a cold. Slight change to the format this year. I have run out of Cities and Towns to say strange things about so that will be replaced by a new crutch called the Top Non-Trump News Story (Or Stories) from yesterday. I’ll continue with thoughts on the Twins and their opponents. The Joe M conversation will remain… I didn’t get enough complaints to stop doing it. And, as usual, a random thought #5. Anyway… I hope you are all primed for the start of a brand new season. It’s still March so we are starting a little early. Don’t push the big red primer button unless you are ready. Expectations are high… as of right now… it is still mathematically possible that the Twins go 162-0. 1. Top Non-Trump News Story (Or Stories) from Yesterday: Rosanne returned to broadcast television on ABC Tuesday Night with back to back episodes and the show was welcomed by 18 million viewers. NBC quickly noticed the ratings and has decided to cash in on the nostalgia wave by ordering 10 Episodes of H.R. Pufnstuf. It was reported that Russian Double Agent Sergei Skripal and his daughter may have been victims of door poisoning. Russia has come a long way since Rasputin; they have been practicing the poisoning of Doors technique since 1969. It wasn’t fatal back then but it did produce a severe lack in judgement which resulted in “The Soft Parade”. 2. Our Twins: The Twins are not overwhelmingly strong in any department but they are not overwhelmingly weak in any department, and for the first time… since… ever… the Twins have enough starting pitching depth where they don’t have to tolerate sub-par performances from anybody. They have a stable of arms in Rochester that can take over for injuries or struggles, this also applies to the bullpen. At the plate, I’ve seen lineup projections from experts with Buxton in the 8 spot in the order and this suggests a level of batting depth that we haven’t seen in sometime. Now those are what I call deep thoughts. 3. The Orioles: It’s kind of funny… not many people were giving the Orioles a shot during the off season. I was listening and the experts were talking about not knowing who the 3, 4 and 5 starters would be, the injury to closer Zach Britton, and the inevitable loss of important free agents after the conclusion of 2018. The experts were strongly suggesting an immediate rebuild was necessary. Then the Orioles sign Alex Cobb and now those same experts are saying the Orioles could earn a wild card spot. I’ve heard my wife talk to her sister on the phone about me and I seem to have that same type of range. 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation: Morgan: I think Opening Day should be a National Holiday. McCarthy: Yeah… nobody should have to work on such an important day. Mauer: I agree… then I wouldn’t have to play today. I’d get the day off. Maddon: Yeah… and I wouldn’t have to manage today. Montana: Guys… think about it… if you both take today off… what would be reason for the rest of us taking the day off? (Long Thoughtful Pause) Maddon: He’s right… we are going to have to work during a national holiday. Mauer: This really sucks. Why do we even have a players' union? Car Alarms: A car alarm was going off in the parking lot at work yesterday. I looked around the office and nobody got up to turn it off, nobody claimed responsibility and the alarm kept going off. It must have been 15 minutes before I decided the only thing to do was to go outside and help what turned out to be the world’s slowest car thief actually steal the car so he could drive off and take the sound with him. ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Brian Dozier (R ) 2B Joe Mauer (L) DH Miguel Sano (R ) 3B Eddie Rosario (L) LF Logan Morrison (L) 1B Eduardo Escobar (S) SS Max Kepler (L) RF Byron Buxton (R ) CF Jason Castro (L) C Jake Odorizzi (R ) P ORIOLES Chris Davis(L) 1B Manny Machado(R ) SS Jonathan Schoop(R ) 2B Adam Jones(R ) CF Trey Mancini(R ) LF Tim Beckham(R ) 3B Pedro Alvarez(L) DH Craig Gentry(R ) RF Caleb Joseph(R ) C Dylan Bundy (R ) P Weather: 65 deg F, mostly cloudy with a 15% chance of rain, winds at 7mph from the SE Win Twins! Play ball! Click here to view the article

As long as Tom knows where the semi-colon goes... I'm good with this. BTW... I have; no idea where; they go. I'm a big Tom fan. Great writer, classy respondent. Just plain solid all the way around.

I can’t argue this but I still hand them nothing!

First of all... I think the Twins can Win the Central. I hand the Indians nothing. They are not as strong offensively as they were last year and the bullpen is noticeably weaker.I'm not sure about the starting pitching depth and if a couple of injuries or dead arms happen in the rotation they could be quite normal. However... in case the Twins are fighting for a Wild Card Spot. The only teams in the AL that I'm dismissing as competition are the Tigers, Royals and Rays. I think the West is going to be hard from top to bottom and the Astros are perfectly built... I see them winning the division but the other 4 will be beating each other up and that will lessen the chances of the Mariners, Angels, Rangers and A's. (The A's may surprise a few this year). That leaves the Twins (or Indians) competing with the (Yankees or Red Sox), Jays, Orioles and possibly the White Sox if the young talent gels quick for two Wild Card Spots. One will come out of the East and One will come out of the Central. My Crystal Ball has some dust over it... so I'm not sure if it works anymore. BTW... In the National league.. the only teams that I am dismissing are the Marlins and Reds and barely the Reds because I think they got some interesting offensive players. I think every other team is capable of putting something together to impress or surprise us. The Nats are the only team that I'm reasonably certain will be playoff bound. The Rest are going to have to fight it out.

That's Fair... but my point was all along that if Falvey, Lavine, Molitor and the others in the room felt that Adrianaza was just replacement level that could be replaced by a waiver wire scouring. They made a mistake. I'm trying to believe that they believe in Adrianaza so I don't end up questioning them in the end.

I think Escobar should get a bulk of playing time at SS and I'm comfortable with that but what happens if Sano gets a 30 game suspension. Now you have Escobar at 3B and Adrianaza at SS. I see the Twins needing Adrianaza fairly significantly.