Riverbrian

I blame the Bat Boy... Boys that are in charge of the bats.

A little fine dining at the Pizza Ranch?

Nice play by Dozier

I've been pushing for some LaMarre playing time but I'm gonna give Molly a break tonight since it's Archer followed by back to back lefties on the mound for the Rays. . Starting Grossman tonight for another left hander can be justified but LaMarre better not be sitting tomorrow against the lefty. Or else... I.. I... Umm... Or Else I might type something about it.

Things will get back to normal tonight when the Twins open up a 3-game series in Tampa. By normal, I mean just a normal series in a normal location with no chance of abnormal weather changing plans. Don’t get me wrong… I had zero complaints about the 2-game series in San Juan. I was just implying it wasn’t normal because it wasn’t normal. Not normal is perfectly OK. In fact… I believe that MLB should choose a few more alternative sites to play some not normal regular season games. It may be shocking that I have some location suggestions but I actually do. Honolulu – It’s really hard for Hawaiians to see a professional baseball game. The closest major league city is San Francisco and that is 2,397 miles away. That’s a 5 hour non-stop flight and 48 years by car. Let the ball players come to them for a change. London – Baseball is making plans for a series in London in 2019. The NFL has a regular season game at Wembley Stadium every year but the dimensions of Wembley wouldn’t fit for baseball. The solution is to move the games back to America to find a stadium. Make no mistake… MLB is serious about playing some games in London… even if they have to be played in America. Here are some things to think about: 1. Top Non-Trump News Story (Or Stories): A former 911 operator in Houston was found guilty of hanging up on people seeking emergency assistance. Records show thousands of calls that lasted less than 20 seconds were attributed to 44 year old Crenshanda Williams over a span of 18 months. Suspicions were finally raised after an audit detected the high volume of short phone calls. When questioned why, she replied that “she didn’t feel like talking to anyone at those times.” After a jury trial, she was sentenced to a misdemeanor and ordered to serve 10 days in jail with 18 months probation. I have some questions because there isn’t a single part of this story that I can get my arms around. What did she think her job was? How did she get away with it over 1,000 times over a span of 18 months? How is this only a misdemeanor? And why was a jury of peers required to take time off of work to decide a misdemeanor conviction? And… perhaps the biggest question of all… what are the best restaurants in Houston? 2. Our Twins: Byron Buxton was placed on the 10-day DL while Max Kepler is reported to be OK. The Twins were very close to having to offering a contract to Delmon Young to play against the Rays. Here’s another thought… the Twins have played very little baseball in seven days while playing a lot of baseball in two days. 3. The Rays: We will get to watch old traded friends Denard Span, Carlos Gomez and Wilson Ramos this weekend. I won’t bring up Chih-Wei Hu who was traded for Kevin Jepsen because I know that trade is still a sore spot. Looking at this closer… it occurs to me that there are more ex-Twins on the Rays roster than ex-Twins on the Twins roster. 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation: Morgan: What are ya doin'? Montana: I’m writing a letter to Preparation H. Mauer: Why? Montana: Because it isn’t working and I want my money back. McCarthy: What does it say? Montana: Dear Preparation H, Your product does not work! I ate the whole tube and it has provided me no relief. I have enclosed pictures that show that it isn’t working. Maddon: Don’t put those pictures in there! 5. Secret of Success: I have been successful at almost everything I’ve done. I will give everyone the secret free of charge: If at first you don’t succeed… redefine what success is. You’re welcome. ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Brian Dozier(R ) 2B Joe Mauer(L) 1B Miguel Sano(R ) 3B Eddie Rosario(L) LF Logan Morrison(L) DH Eduardo Escobar(S) SS Max Kepler(L) CF Robbie Grossman(S) RF Jason Castro(L) C Lance Lynn (R ) RAYS Denard Span(L) LF C.J. Cron(R ) DH Carlos Gomez(R ) RF Brad Miller(L) 1B Daniel Robertson(R ) 3B Joey Wendle(L) 2B Wilson Ramos(R ) C Mallex Smith(L) CF Adeiny Hechavarria(R ) SS Chris Archer (R ) Game-time forecast: Outside it will be lovely. I don't know the indoor specs of the Trop, but it will be playable. Click here to view the article

I'm just not sure if Geese have bumps.

There was a moment that was reached that night where specific details like that kinda went away.

Shoes will leave nasty face imprints. And they ain't very odor easy.

Los gemelos son el equipo local. Because this is an historic two-game series played in Puerto Rico, that first sentence was in Spanish out of tribute. It is an important sentence. I don’t know even if I translated it correctly (check disclaimer below), but I will leave it up to anybody curious about the content to look it up for themselves. It is important information that could influence the game. Francisco Lindor and Roberto Perez of the Indians are natives of the island along with Jose Berrios and Eddie Rosario of the Twins. Jose Berrios is from Bayamon, which is near San Juan on the northern coast, while Eddie Rosario is from Guayama on the southern Coast. To get a sense of the geography from a Minnesota perspective, if San Juan was Minneapolis, Jose Berrios would be from Edina and Eddie Rosario would be from Rochester… about an hour to the south. Using that same geographic scale, my hometown of Grand Forks could only be represented by a Carnival Cruise ship sailing past. Disclaimer: I do not speak Spanish… if you blindfolded me and dropped me in the middle of a Spanish speaking country, surrounded by people who speak only Spanish… I would be unable to find the bathroom. The last time I couldn’t find the bathroom was 30 years ago. I had a lot of rum and the friends of mine who hosted the party were horrified to find me the next morning passed out in the walk-in closet. Breaking News: The National Weather Service out of San Juan has issued a blizzard warning effective from this afternoon until Thursday morning for the entire island of Puerto Rico. Snow will be heavy at times with total snow accumulations between 16 to 20 inches of snow. Brisk northwest winds gusting to 70mph will reduce visibility only to stuff directly in front of your face in open areas. Travel is not advised. Here are some things to think about: 1. Top Non-Trump News Story (Or Stories): Netflix announced today that they added 7.4 million subscribers in Q1 which comfortably beat projections of 6.6 million. The Society for Social Interaction also announced today that 7.4 million less people left their homes in Q1. 7.4 million less people attended sporting events, church, nightclubs and outdoor activities because they were binge watching every episode of “The Office” and “Orange is the New Black” for the 22nd time. 2. Our Twins: I don’t know… I got nothing to report on the Twins. They haven’t played in 4 days… I don’t know who is hot or who is cold and I don’t think the players know either… they haven’t played in 4 days. Now… I do expect an illness issue to develop in the club house because the players spent multiple days in below-freezing temperatures, capped off by a weekend of a strong winter blizzard, followed by a quick flight to the Caribbean and upper 80-degree temps. The American Medical Association strongly advises against quick temperature changes because it can lead to illness, specifically people turning into werewolves. If you have ever wondered why so many baseball players have long, nasty-looking beards. That is why… they have turned into werewolves going from spring training to northern cities. Yep… that’s right. Dallas Keuchel is a werewolf. Now you all understand why. 3. Cleveland: If this was a week ago… my first sentence could have been about how the Indians offense is really struggling. However… it’s not a week ago and the Cleveland has been heating up at the plate. Time can really suck sometimes. 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation: McCarthy: Guys… I have a serious question to ask all you. Give it some thought before you answer. Morgan: Alright… shoot McCarthy: What is your biggest concern about the future? Maddon: That’s easy… I am very worried that there will be no post offices in the future. Mauer: A massive meteor crashing into the forests around Bemidji, setting off a massive fire that blots out the sun, killing all plant… Morgan: I’m not worried about global warming at all… Mauer: That wouldn’t be global warm… Morgan: I’m worried that Pete Rose will never make the Hall of Fame. Montana: I’m worried that Mauer will stop paying for everything. McCarthy: Amen to that. 5. Rain Dancing: This past weekend, I did a lot of research on rain dances. The Twins weren’t playing so I had to do something. Anyway, what I discovered was quite interesting. Some rain dancers are rarely successful while some are very successful. The most successful rain dancers in the study had degrees in meteorology. ____________________ Lineups: CLEVELAND Francisco Lindor(S) SS Jason Kipnis(L) 2B Jose Ramirez(S) 3B Michael Brantley(L) LF Edwin Encarnacion(R ) DH Yonder Alonso(L) 1B Yan Gomes(R ) C Tyler Naquin(L) RF Bradley Zimmer(L) CF Corey Kluber(R ) P TWINS Brian Dozier(R ) 2B Joe Mauer(L) 1B Miguel Sano(R ) 3B Eddie Rosario(L) LF Logan Morrison(L) DH Eduardo Escobar(S) SS Max Kepler(L) CF Robbie Grossman(S) RF Jason Castro(L) C Jake Odorizzi(R ) P Game-time forecast: Mostly cloudy, but it's not going to rain (or snow), 75 deg F, winds at 9mph from the ENE. Click here to view the article

The Wild could use Moya in Goal.

You really can't go wrong. We are pretty directionless.

Morrison: I can hit it right through people.

I've got a much higher grade because I also agree about Morrison.

We say "Welcome to Twins Daily" Logan Morrison says "Blah Blah Blah"

Escobar... Ruled a Hit? My fantasy baseball team says thank you to Stu Thornley.

Dear Logan, Step out of the Box... Take a look. Everybody is standing on one side of the field. Sincerely Riverbrian

I didn't notice it. Now that I have. It's better than Ashburys Gonna Ash.

For Those About To Rock by AC/DC is also in the key of EM. Just sayin.

When you start referencing Beans. You know you've become Massachusetts.

Dear Mr. Sano, Think Pitch Selection Sincerely Riverbrian