LaBombo

I thought that too for a second, and then I just poked myself in the eye, because that's just as useful as wishing this organization would wise up, and half as painful.

He still does, even after Umpire Ackbar made his ruling... Anybody who'd lay out for a fly ball during another drubbing in the middle of this season-long sewage plant system failure deserves a free meal at the very least.

Yeah. Didn't look right even at full speed on TV. Dick is disadvantaged by either his vantage point from one of the best seats in the house, or as one of the hardest-working professional optimists in baseball.

Yup, either that or his mom was big enough to get it on with the Jolly Green Giant.

And it's basically a coin flip between a ball and a strike for the umpire when the batter takes a pitch, because there's no way he's seeing around Laudner's enormous 5 gallon bucket head.

If a flock of crows can be a 'murder', maybe we could make the collective noun for the platypus an 'aggravated assault'. I mean, come on, if there's a bunch of the little weirdos ganging up then it's got to mean they're up to no good.

It may be that Dozier was aiming more for a 'Don't worry about me, I'm not hurt and I'm not down on myself' sort of thing, and it came out more like 'It's just bad luck, leave me alone'. He's been around long enough and through enough without being a locker room liability that I'm completely willing to give him the benefit of the doubt when it comes to his dealings with the media and his overall attitude. What I would have trouble with is if he presents the same 'I'm fine' attitude in response to the Twins asking him to make some major adjustments to his approach at the plate. His poor performance is rapidly approaching the point where any suggestion short of taking up switch-hitting should not be regarded as too radical to try, even for a veteran like Dozier. He would NOT be approaching that point, at least in my mind, were it not for the fact that Dozier has been, by some indications, skating on relatively thin ice dating all the way back to his initial success at the major league level. Over a year ago, in the context of a possible Dozier contract extension, Fangraphs ran a nice profile of him. But it included one troubling bit of evidence about the sustainability of his approach. While it's been widely know that Dozier has been a pull hitter, the article explained that not only is he one of the most extreme in baseball, but that the others in that group almost all profile as exactly the same thing: aging power hitters trying to milk a few more homers out of the final, 'white dwarf' stage of their career. I like Dozier immensely as a ballplayer, on balance I liked the idea of extending him, and I don't think he's doomed to an early flame-out. But when a player who profiles so strongly like an aging power hitter both struggles and doesn't fully acknowledge that struggle, it's at least some cause for concern that he's not ready to fix the problem if that means dropping the approach of an aging power hitter.

I'm a little hazy with regard to the reasoning and the moral equivalency behind painting Terry Ryan as some sort of evil, mustache-twirling 19th century robber baron by applying the word "trickery" to his giving service time its due consideration in accordance with the labor agreement that the players signed off on. In the absence of either a clear and unavoidable need at the major league level or strong (if not overwhelming) evidence the player's development is being hampered by not being promoted, then a competent GM is simply doing his due diligence by paying heed to the arbitration clock. And the case for promotion in spite of service time issues had better be awfully compelling in light of the Twins front office's recent history of not only being a poor judge of when prospects are ready for the majors, but whether players are ever going to be good enough to be major leaguers. If Buxton's re-promotion schedule isn't to his liking, his agent is free to "make a stink", as you suggest. In that event, it's my hope that such in-season histrionics during this disastrous campaign beset with a constantly churning roster will serve to caution Mr. Ryan about what he can expect when he sits down with Mr. Buxton's agent in the future, when actual negotiations take place. As unpleasant as it is to contemplate, though, your prediction may very well prove true. This locker room might actually be so lost at this point that it may indeed quietly continue to stumble and mope through perhaps the worst season in the franchise's history, and yet find itself angered and 'poisoned', as you put it, by a simple arbitration issue regarding a 22 year rookie.

Recap for the statistically impaired... Grossman's night: The other Twins' night: http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/images/reviews/81/1227029619_4.jpg

Aaaaaand Barney takes Twins pitching deep. http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11122/111223357/4612825-latest.jpg

In that kind of light You could lose your sight And believe there was something to win

Dick is demoted to the ambient soundtrack at Bombo Manor tonight. How, pray tell, did he manage that tie-in?

Elbow/Shoulder/Ladyparts soreness => 2-4 weeks Rest & Rehab TM => TJ.

That makes it official. Terry Ryan needs a hug, a gold watch, and a fishing trip to Canada that lasts all summer.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J07k-712dqM/VM6Zlorf_vI/AAAAAAAAAqE/MrWqKbn9kd4/s1600/Picture%2B4.png

They have a lady who comes in every Thursday for that.

"Hapless". That is the perfect word. Well done. I was going to expand your statement to include ALL pro sports teams, but then I remembered one team, just one, that I saw play once in my youth, that saves the 2016 Twins from that distinction: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3I6Qjmj6brQ/TjhqzPJnhWI/AAAAAAAAAJU/O7WP51L5eJo/s1600/panted-general.jpg

Why not? He's not looking like much of a reliever lately. Besides, how often do they have a lead for him to protect? Even hyper-knowledgeable Yankees fans agree... http://libertyblitzkrieg.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Screen-Shot-2016-03-15-at-11.00.50-AM.jpg

http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/f9/f9064d8ad94ee9783a839003cbd5b16d53034fc93ddbcd6f2a9fb4f4e67fe8b6.jpg

He subs for Herschel in blowouts. http://www.tradingcarddb.com/Images/Cards/Football/3270/3270-838454Fr.jpg

Prediction: The absurdity of letting the present leadership destroy the Twins brand will begin to to grow exponentially now with each loss, as opposed to its previous linear increase.

Linus to the mound for a conference...

Watching what?

Just in case there are any younger TD'ers who don't know... http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/313RbkTeHLL.jpg On tomorrow's session of Bill Murray 101: the answer to the question "When there's somethin' strange, in you neighborhood, who ya gonna call?" Hint: Not these guys, if the trailer is any indication.

Would the Twins... send him someplace special for that?