LaBombo

Was just about to say something about how the Twins have used May in relief since his conversion, and then it occurred to me... when your baseball team is below .300 in June, is not every single god bless-ed inning by definition... low leverage?

Day after the trade deadline. That way nobody has to worry about how much their Plouffe jersey will fetch on ebay.

And don't forget the telekinetic powers: http://www1.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Robbie+Grossman+Los+Angeles+Angels+Anaheim+p9zh4-r7b0tl.jpg

Prediction: So is Bark. Not going to hazard a guess about the smell, though.

Both, maybe?

Excerpted from Dozier Dungeon, a Mazes and Monsters Pen and Paper Solo Adventure: From down the dimly lit corridor, a Beholder comes hurtling toward you!!! http://magic.wizards.com/sites/mtg/files/image_legacy_migration/magic/images/mtgcom/fcpics/making/mr294_Beholder.jpg Do you A. Attack it with your mace? Read paragraph 4a for this option. B. Dodge its attack and prepare a spell to cast? Read paragraph 4b for this option. C. Flee from it? Read paragraph 4c for this option. Paragraph 4A. Roll one ten-sided die (1d10) 1-2 You take a mighty swing at the beholder at miss once, twice, three times! The beholder bites your face off. You have died. 3-5 Your strike glances off the beholder, which bounces off the ground to your left side. But it quickly recovers and shoots you with an enfeeblement ray, rendering you too slow to run or fight. You have died. 6-9 Your mace connects weakly with the beholder. It is driven high and back momentarily by your mace, but not far. What looked like a killing blow has only angered the beholder, which burns you to ash with an energy ray. You have died. 10 You smash the beholder with a single, mighty blow, sending pieces of it flying everywhere! You have survived the beholder. Fortune and glory awaits in the corridor beyond!

With all the talk about Buxton suddenly adopting a leg kick I wondered if he would have trouble staying back on off speed stuff and going the other way. Looks like that's a no, at least to the off speed part.

Yup, although my original intention was to try to catch the raccoons in the act of huffing propane from my grill. Thought it might come in handy if we had to resort to an intervention for them.

For some reason I just for a second misread that as 'be a privy', and I can't tell you how staunchly I stood in solidarity with your refusal... http://www.19thcenturybottlediggers.com/Sheaf%20of%20wheat.jpg

After watching the crazy hops in the Oakland Coliseum, I'm starting to think that the only difference between their outfield grass and my back yard is that they don't have dandelions or a charming little wishing well like I do. http://www.picgifs.com/wallpapers/movie-and-tv-shows/the-ring/animaatjes-the-ring-44852.jpg

No, children, run! Run away!!!! http://ipadkids.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/hansel-and-gretel-2.jpg

It's actually ok because the guy in the plaid shirt is a very compact plain clothes bodyguard who was protecting Elton from the costumed Goofy character who made a suspicious advance toward the recovering leg.

Darren Wolfson already tweeting that preliminary assessment is that Sano's hamstring is bad enough that it may require Elton John surgery. The Braves' team surgeon who performed Elton's may also be doing Miguel's. http://www.coveragemail.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Elton-John-Picture-Surface-on-Wheelchair-During-Visit-to-Disneyland.jpg

That made me wonder... how many of these could Sano eat in one sitting?

And now Sano is limping. Good lord. What is the Twins' pregame flexibility routine? Toss the medicine ball around and smoke cigars in the steam room?

If by "clarify", you mean 'grotesquely distort', then well done, I guess. The Cubs are the best team in baseball dating back to the 2015 opener. The Dodgers won their division last year and are among the N.L.'s top 5 in run differential this season. Friedman has had fewer than two years on the job and inherited some of the worst contracts in baseball. He previously took the Rays to 4 postseasons and a World Series despite being in the toughest division in baseball and having roughly the budget of a high school class presidential campaign The Diamondbacks are below .500 at the moment but improved by 15 wins after just one year of LaRussa at the helm. Just a suggestion, but if you're going to try to sell those records as failures, you might find a more receptive market among fans of a team that's not en route to averaging 90 losses for six consecutive seasons or, for that matter, one that has more than one postseason series win in 25 years or more than zero in the last 13. The ideal candidate would also be on pace for fewer than 113 losses this season. Ideally.

There's a moment in the movie version of Moneyball where Art Howe insists that Billy Beane postpone an off season meeting with scouts and work with him on a new contract. In refusing, Billy points out that "At this moment, if a grounder is hit to first, nobody's gonna be there to stop it from rolling". At this moment, the Minnesota Twins lack a person to stop their baseball operations failures from rolling past first and into right field. That person is not Jim Pohlad. That's a problem, to put it mildly, because as things stand today, Jim is the only person empowered to make a change at the top of the Twins' baseball operations chain of command. Despite that, when pressed by Chip Scoggins about the team's struggles and the possibility of taking a new direction at the top, Pohlad responded with an acknowledgement of "total system failure", followed by what amounted to a shoulder shrug and a 'Waddaya gonna do?', as if he were merely an ordinary disgruntled fan. That person is not Dave St. Peter. While Mr. St. Peter may be a big Twins fan, his exchanges with the media make it clear that he's simply not knowledgeable about the baseball operations side of the equation, and that he is not trending upward in that department. That person is not Terry Ryan. Terry Ryan is too busy figuring out how to fix the Twins to have either the time or the distance from the problem to figure out whether he should be the guy fixing the Twins. As a franchise, the Twins are flailing like Byron Buxton in the majors. They connect occasionally and show signs of promise, but the results overall are now objectively, undeniably bad. If Dave St. Peter really is good at sampling bratwurst and cajoling cable execs, let him keep doing that in a more narrowly defined role. But Jim Pohlad needs to find somebody else to really run the Twins, without a single precondition of retaining ANYONE in their current role. Otherwise that 90-loss ground ball is going to just keep on rolling as long as momentum carries it.

Might want to go with 'didn't work as intended'. That would explain both the end of the win streak and some very strange and messy goings on in my utility room this afternoon: http://www.blastr.com/sites/blastr/files/images/SorcerersApprentice-thumb-330x234-12052.jpg Oh well, that's what home owner's insurance is for. The utility room, not the broken win streak. They'll need a new incantation for that.

"We'll bring him back the minute the season's over, ma'am".

This is maybe a long shot, but it couldn't hurt to check: Has Jep's agent explained to him about how a pitcher is not credited for a save when he "created" the save situation? On the other hand, whatever works. Lights out (or at least lights dimmed) pitching by Nolasco, Mauer dropping more bombs than Eddie Murphy doing standup in the 80's, Grossman and Nunez vying for MVP, and Santana picking it in center like Willie Norwood before the Dr. Strangeglove era. It may not be the model of sustainability, but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/000/681/what-you-did-there-i-see-it.thumbnail.jpg

So you're probably not going to want any Yorky McNuggets either.

Or his agent, maybe?

Just going to the store with Jepsen has to be like the car chase from Bullitt... http://brothers-ink.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/bullitt57.jpg