LaBombo

That works too. Hope they follow Bark's suggestion of putting him in the rotation before he devolves into an even more desperate stage of Pyle syndrome.

And speaking of stadium strays and finding relievers, it finally occurred to me just now. Trevor May is... tethercat!!!

Where do you think he found most of the relievers?

Negative. Test piloting tonight. http://cdn.history.com/sites/2/2015/07/list-howard-hughes-GettyImages-51380687-H.jpeg

Well, when you're a Pohlad, a Dave St. Peter, or most of all, a Terry Ryan, you can't spend years and years telling everyone over and over and over again that money doesn't correlate to wins, and then suddenly reel off a bunch of 90 win seasons after getting your new stadium and above-average revenue stream.

Molitor out of the dugout to go 'get' May...

My laptop is powered by kerosene, if that's helpful in any way.

Yeah, we'll almost certainly know who holds the record, so at that point it will just be what the record is. If he hasn't been DFA'd or traded for a box of infield dirt by then, I'd want them to give the ball to Nolasco on the last day. You want your strongest running the anchor leg of the relay.

That's just the cherry I needed on top of my day. http://lolfunnymeme.com/wp-content/uploads/sadpanda.jpg

Sweep or be swept! We don't take no... ... prisoners!!!

But not it in a bad way. Your excellent intro to the game thread reminded us to read up on the amateur draft. With any luck they'll be back soon with rally caps on.

Dick and Bert will let you know the minute the first inning of the last game of the season is over.

White Sox rotation is Latos intolerant; and another former Twin goes over to the Dark Side. http://www.csnchicago.com/sites/csnchicago/files/styles/half_6__desktop_large_/public/2016/06/09/justin_morneau_sound_06-09_640x360_702539331648.jpg?itok=omvlzMah&timestamp=1465510743

This is a bit of a stretch for me to even take a guess at, but it may have partly to do with the somewhat unique position Sano is in. The Twins have been mostly terrible for five years. Attention has naturally turned to the prospects, but with the exception of Dozier's unexpected ascent, the results have mostly been pretty meh. Sano has been almost the only bright spot to graduate from the farm system, and even the normally reserved BProp gushed about his 2015. But this season, he started out by reporting either out of shape or at least not in better shape like the Twins expected. He's been playing out of position, and poorly at that, in right field. He's been good at the plate, but inevitable regression due to his sky-high .396 BABIP last season has rendered his numbers disappointing. And now he's hurt. Plenty of Twins, in fact most of them, have been worse than Sano, but contrasted with last year, few have been more disappointing. The weight and the defensive follies have made him an easy target for jokes, but in the end his real sin was being the odds-on favorite to be the best player in what has so far turned out to be one of the worst seasons in Twins history. Some of it may be personal for Reusse, but not directly caused by Sano. Maybe Reusse's cumulative, decades-long quantity and quality of professional exposure to Twins baseball makes this stink bomb of a year that much harder to stomach than for most fans. Maybe he's privy to more behind-the-scenes grumbling about Sano than he's let on. Maybe it's something as simple as having his eye on retirement and wanting to go out covering the exact, extreme opposite of this train wreck. Either way, for me Reusse's writing ultimately boils down to another voice (and a loud one at that) telling ownership that the Twins aren't just bad, but bad in a way that makes it hard to watch them. If this helps the Pohlads realize that rather than a bad year, they have a badly run franchise on their hands, then I'm all for Patrick letting it rip, whether I agree with all the particulars of his columns or not.

Hike that trade value! http://thumb1.shutterstock.com/thumb_small/608860/608860,1303054532,4/stock-vector-turtle-on-a-white-background-vector-illustration-75419785.jpg

Yup. He didn't get rattled with a guy on, which is maybe even a better closer debut than sitting them down in order. Unrelated nerd prediction. Before the end of June, Molitor names Kintzler the closer. Kintzler remains unowned in 92% of ESPN fantasy leagues.

On a positive note, Dick informs us that Jepsen has given up hits and runs far more efficiently the past few outings, keeping his pitch count low and enabling him to pitch more often... http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m13e167Cw11rrmpxoo1_500.png

"You two stop it right this instant or we will turn this herd around and you can just wait until NEXT YEAR to visit Mount Kilimanjaro!"

You'll find the answer at the top of the stairs and to your left. http://web.sbu.edu/theology/bychkov/escher_stairs.jpg

Yup. Also hear he does a mean Watusi... http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/4870049/mashed-potato-o.gif

http://www.smokelesscigarettesdeals.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/4932846-yes-checkbox-selected-with-red-marker-isolated-on-white.jpg

It's hard to think of a more timely disability to survive the nightly grind of making these Twins entertaining.