Bark's Lounge

Obviously I am no scientist. The folks who have read my threads or other tid-bits on this site, probably consider me some other choice words. I’m cool with that. I consider myself the guy that is rolling some dice in a back alley in urban America, making deals, breaking deals and throwing some ideas out there that probably won’t stick. I still try and one of these days they might stick… Ha, Ha! Evolution – If you are a human being who believes in evolution, it is probably thought about in terms of a 100,000 – Millions of years. It doesn’t seem like we talk about it in a year to year, decade to decade, millennium to millennium kind of way and when it comes to Australian baseball players – maybe we should. What I am about to write is not about superiority or inferiority on a human level, but on a baseball level – please take note of that. Baseball is an American Sport which borrowed some ideas from somewhat similar sports in the United Kingdom and beyond. America made it their own, ran with it, made it better and created the best sporting contest in the history of the world. Baseball has reached out to other countries – far and wide and Australia is one of them that has sort of picked up the game. Baseball in Australia is not a tradition as it is here in the States. I have no percentage on Australians playing baseball, but it is probably comparable to Americans playing Cricket or maybe a better comparison is Rugby. I would imagine that the baseball gene is not yet imbedded in the muscle memory, coordination, and physical instinct of the baseball playing Australian. It took many generations of Americans to make this game what it is today (1860’s-2010’s). Australia is roughly 25 years into it. Repetition, physical ability and love for the game are not only passed onto the next generation by word of mouth, but also by the ability to reproduce and implant their genetic mark, a mark that contains the imprint of baseball. So far in Australia’s brief history with baseball, I am assuming that Dave Nilsson (position player) and Grant Balfour (pitcher) are the best players to come out of this country. Although many are disappointed with Liam Hendriks and his performance thus far, he is genetically new to baseball and is one of the few Australians who has made it to the MLB level. Maybe he will have success, maybe not, but he will be one of the men who has an opportunity to reproduce, strengthen and further the Australian Baseball movement and evolution. One day there will be an impact Australian Baseball Player!!!

Hendriks needs to take Inderal, assuming that it's not a banned substance. Performers use it to eliminate stage fright and it is very effective. Maybe just get buzzed on suds to steady the nerves. The last I heard, Josh Beckett is available if someone wants to take on his salary. Beckett could help teach Hendriks the ins and outs of DWPB.

I'll see you guys tomorrow night! If you see a Greasy Brownish haired shirtless guy wearing olive green sweat pants with suspenders and arm wrestling woman patrons for shots of Hot 100 - that is Bark's Lounge... come say Hi - introduce yourself.

Who the hell needs sitcoms and daytime dramas if you have the Minnesota Twins... You can't make this S%@t up!

I see that Roger Clemens is making a return to professional baseball - suiting up and pitching for the Independent Ball club the "Sugar Land Skeeters" this coming up Saturday. If all goes well, maybe the Twins should take a flyer on him. Even as a 50 year old, I bet he has something left in the tank compared to some of the yahoos we have been throwing out there. Even if his pitching contribution is minimal - he could be a great influence on our younger ball players, teaching them the finer points of the following: How To cheat and lie How to break the law and get away with it How to seduce under aged women Oh, don't let me forget - The art of pitching I think this could go down as one of the better moves the Twins could make... maybe one of the greatest in the history of this franchise. Baseball needs Roger Clemens, the game hasn't been the same since he left. I for one am proud of myself for putting this thread out their promoting this American Hero, Moral Warrior, True Champion of Humanism and Protector of Virtue. All Hail Roger Clemens!!!

It's Evolution Baby!!! How long can this silliness possibly last? Well' date=' for at least a couple more sentences... Twins have taken the LONG ROAD to last place. Are the Royals hearing FOOTSTEPS behind them for 4th in the division? We need a bunch of control-type pitchers who can work the corners...really hit the BLACK. I could keep going, but it's getting stupid and I'm drunk.[/quote'] Hello Friend, Sober up and find your Even Flow. I had a friend Jeremy who had struggles similar to yours and he found his way just fine. Once, I was mixed up in life also, but I escaped from the Animal that was controlling me. Don't call me Daughter, but I think you will get it all straightened out. Love, Uncle Bark

Making love to Sandra Bernhard > Jeff Gray

Meh. Span and Willingham both have credible claims to being better this year. I think Span and Willingham are excellent. Season wise you might have a good argument for Willingham being better than Mauer - Span, No way. Mauer is their superior career wise.

Oh' date=' you mean the JM?[/quote'] You bet. I've used too much suspect language on this site. I thought I'd take the safe route today,

It's Evolution Baby!!!

Movie Booth Cleaning Specialist/Janitor at Sex World > Jeff Gray

A Dissident is here!!! I've been looking in my Rear View Window for you to arrive!

What a waste.

Plouffe needs to do something positive here.

Keep the faith my friend. It will all work out.

I'm calling triple play. Deduno has luck on his side. Guess the dice didn't come up right. I needed a 20, instead I rolled a 1.

I'm calling triple play. Deduno has luck on his side.

I'm not sure what that means. For my generation a "gamer" is somebody who plays AD&D. Roll your 20 sided dice.

And therein lies my problem with Joe Mauer. Logically, I can appreciate his performance. Emotionally, his performance leaves me stone cold. I don't anticipate his plate appearances. I could care less whether he wins another batting title. He comes up to bat and I say "meh". I know that he will probably take the first pitch. I know that he will work the count. There is simply no element of surprise or emotion. That's the way he plays -- emotionlessly. And that's the way it leaves me -- emotionless. I don't dislike him. I don't like him either. I really just don't care about him. And that is a sad thing to say about your favorite team's "star". Mauer is a pretty emotionless guy. I don't think he's a terribly exciting player to watch either. He never gets upset, never throws anything, just kind of goes about his day at and behind the plate. On the other hand, while he's not the most exciting guy to watch, he's one of the best players in all of baseball. I'll take the guy who just "goes about his day" and piles up walks and hits compared to the guy who screams, yells, and breaks his bat on the way to a 200 strikeout season. Joe Mauer is a very good baseball player and might be the greatest hit-for-average catcher in all of MLB history. He's an incredible talent. And yet people around here want to change the guy and how he approaches hitting. How is that considered smart? Nice one Brock/RP. Sometimes it takes a player to leave the team for the fans to realize what they had and regret what they lost. It seems like a lot of fans have become jaded with Mauer and expect him to perform acts of unrealistic proportion. He is the best player on this team - bar none. I am assuming someone will throw his salary in my face after posting this.

Although the returns were not ideal - nice AB by Florimon.

What is there to like? Maybe if we combined the Mariner's Pitching Staff with the Twins offense we might have ourselves a winning ballclub, but we might have to play in Billings, MT (roughly the half way point between Seattle and Minneapolis).

John Shipley of the Pioneer Press wrote an article disclosing the following: http://www.twincities.com/twins/ci_21345979/pearl-jams-eddie-vedder-minnesota-twins-rock?source=most_viewed This is great news and may be the beginning of the end of the Twins misfortunes the last few seasons. Onward to Victory!!!!

I side with the DFA crowd. I don't know how many more million dollars he is owed on his contract, but I would guess that the amount that is due to him is a fun night out on the town for the Pohlad boys. This marriage is dead... let's start writing up the divorce papers and end this once and for all - Pretty Please?

In all due respect dear sir, it appears that you and the Minnesota Twins share the same trait. Cherio!

If Chris Parmelee wrote a book, one of the chapters would be called "2012 - the summer I got F'd in the A".