Bark's Lounge

I have my doubts about the effectiveness of the "Rally Rhino" or "Comeback Bunny". Some have said to keep throwing them out there, and I will do as such today, but in the days they have been used, the Twins have accumulated zero wins. My faith wanes.

I am not sure what one could do in one day - probably not much, but screw things up. Throwing away the "what I said yesterday" on the game thread - I will propose to you what I would do if I inherited the team. Let's call me Bark Pohlad. First and foremost, at my crowning ceremony, I would make it a circus event. This will define my reign as owner of the Twins. I would wear a gimp outfit and electrify the media with my outspoken opinions and try to manipulate Twins Territory into buying the words I preach. After this event, I would have a sit down with Mr. Ryan and figure out if we can be on the same page. I like Ryan, but he seems a bit conservative, I'd like to know if he can deal with the implications of my taking over ownership. If he can great, if not, I will move on. If Ryan sticks, I will allocate the resources to hire John Mozeliak's right hand man to be Terry Ryan's right hand man with the prospects of him taking over in a year or two. I would also do a thorough analysis on other up and coming administrative baseball minds from different organizations and hire the individuals I deem fit to taking on this overtaking. The whole coaching staff will be fired, except for Molitor. I, the owner will make Molitor the manager, This will have been agreed upon with Ryan and his new assistant in our initial meeting of the minds. In turn Molitor, Ryan, and the new Assistant GM will choose the coaching staff with me in observing. In the spirit of Mark Cuban, I will continue, to make an ass out of myself to take the pressure off of the players and management until we get things solidified. Fortunately or unfortunately, I will try my best to be the Bill Hicks of baseball ownership. It will cause some controversy, but in the end, the fans will appreciate what my contributions were. I will not sign players to Robinson Cano contracts, but I am not adverse to signing players to Tanaka or Ellsbury contracts. They just need to make sense. I will not accept a makeshift splint on a severely broken leg. The team is one of two scenarios - 1. adding ammunition to win the war or - 2. Rebuilding. I am eliminating the gray areas. As owner, I will bring Twins Territory a World Championship! Hooyah!!!

touché.

I'd be very pleased if Dozier gets into the HR Derby. We will not see any 470ft shots to CF, RF, LCF or RCF, but it's all about volume and not "Shock and Awe". I think he would be successful at poking them out to LF at a decent clip.

I have a hard time believing that being voted to an All-Star game increases your value. It changes nothing. I'd have a unpleasant time envisioning a GM getting excited because a pitcher or position player was voted to the All-Star game. It's all about what a player can execute. The All-Star game comes sometimes with a bit of luck and circumstance. Almost every year it comes with folly.

You have to take some chances sometimes, and that is what the Twins did. It certainly is not working out right now. Hopefully after this season Nolasco can regroup and give us a 4ish era and 200IP per season. That is my glass half full.

Go Morneau!!!

I am happy for Suzuki and Perkins. I do not feel like the Twins should have had an all-star representative this season. I hate the every team rule and I do not believe Suzuki or Perkins is deserving. Dozier is more deserving, even with the low BA, his OBP, HR, SB, and R carries him through.

Which is the preferred choice? http://blogdeonda.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/short_shorts_se_estan_imponiendo_pero_cuidado_667029304_320x480.jpg http://www.moviesteve.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Borat-mankini.jpg

That's a good thing, no?

Blame GCTF. His/Her post made me think of Borat.

http://www.moviesteve.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Borat-mankini.jpg

Fizzle sticks.

Last ditch effort.

In all reality. I don't think what anyone proposed was wrong from Glunn's original post. We all have our own ideas about things and how they should work. From my viewpoint, I am not sure over exploitation of another team's philosophy really matters in today's game. Trust me on this - I like originality, new angles, and creations as much or more so than the next guy. This is only how I view baseball at this time.

If this were based on the subject of original music, writing or art, I would totally agree with you on this one Chi - mimicking the work of others is sacrilegious... in the arts. With baseball, I don't necessarily think originality is necessary, especially with the direction this game is moving in. In a baseball situation, I think copying some philosophies of other teams is a good thing, you can pick and choose from the philosophies as you please. I also do not think that being a baseball GM comes without the chance to be creative or having an outside the box approach. In my opinion the Cardinals run their ship the right way. They are built for success now, and for the future. By whatever means they analyze and scout the players they draft or sign. It is working, and working well. I would target their personnel department for GM change. As for Billy Beane's Athletics, they have mortgaged their future for the present, and they have been pretty crafty in doing so. They have gotten a bit lucky - at least a little bit. If they win a World Series this year or next, it will most probably been worth it and Billy Beane will be hailed as a genious. In two years time they will be cellar dwellers.

What is it - 1980's day on TD? Lots of talk about cocaine. Since Crack is the only thing I could get my hands on in a reasonable time frame - I'll stick with Absinthe and "Puff the Magic Dragon" today.

I think I fixed Fuld's mediocre throwing arm.

I feel the same way.

This is probably the more appropriate Rally Rhino for today's game.

Ask and thou shall receive. and for good measure...

If there is indeed a person who is considering taking Brian's 3 steps of preparation in case of a hurricane - please PM me. I will trade my residence and living situation straight up for yours... I'll even throw in a snow blower. My only stipulation is that it has to be south of North Carolina. If your residence is a makeshift shack or a sturdy cardboard box, I am okay with that. PS - I am hoping for a Twins victory today.

Well said Doc.

In my Mind's eye - I am cool as a cucumber with Escobar, Santana and Nunez at SS. I believe Nunez is the better batsman, Escobar is the better fielder, and Santana is the better athlete and X-factor (X=Exciting). One or a combination of these guys will get the job done this season and next, not without any hick-ups mind you, but this is one of the least of my concerns. The whole CF situation is abysmal. It will probably be Fuld who plays most of the time the rest of the season - which cuts off about 15% of my interest in watching the last half of the season - not a big fan. A lot has been said about Aaron Hicks' baseball state of mind and he has earned those criticisms. I would feel a bit more comfortable if Hicks had stuck to his guns and abandoned switch hitting - he didn't and that makes him look worse in my book. You are 24 years old, make a decision and stick to it. 24 is semi-young adulthood, there should be no reason for the teeter-tawter decision making process. I still have hope for Hicks, but he is down to his last strike in my book. The best case scenario this season is having Rosario go on a tear and he miraculously ascends to the majors in late July/early August and takes the reigns in CF - giving the Twins fans some reason to have optimism for the final two months of the 2014 season and beyond, until Buxton is ready (if he pans out). To me this last paragraph is a pipe dream.