Twins Video
1. Neighborhoods – New York City is made up of collections of neighborhoods. You don’t simply get an apartment in New York, or even in Manhattan or Queens, you get a place in a specific neighborhood, like Flatbush or Hell’s Kitchen. I think this is a fantastic idea and since I live in Grand Forks, North Dakota, which isn’t laid out in distinct neighborhoods, I have the chance to plant my flag and name my own neighborhood Riverbrian. There are no parks or tourist attractions in Riverbrian, but I do have a Burger King, Pizza Hut, sports bar and laundromat. Hey… At some point in time, someone in Harlem named one of the neighborhoods Sugar Hill and eventually a rap group came out of there called the Sugar Hill Gang. Someday there may be a gang of Norwegian descendants called the Riverbrian Gang and this is how it all begins. Paul Simon says Rosie is the queen of Corona, let her be the queen of Riverbrian. Billy Joel walked Bedford Stuy Alone, that could be Riverbri alone. If you think this is a brilliant idea… "you may be right." Everyone should go claim the naming rights to your neighborhood right now.
2. Our Twins – Shame on all of you who left after the Blue Jays took a 5-0 lead in the 2nd inning. Thank you, Vikings, for making everybody come back.
3. The Yankees – In my opinion, the scariest part of the Yankees is the bullpen. Chapman, Betances, Robertson, Kahnle is a pretty fearsome group, so I strongly recommend never letting the Yankees get a lead… ever. In game 2 of the series we will get to see Jaime Garcia face us; we are paying Garcia 4 million dollars to pitch against us so we will see if this clever strategy works.
4. Today’s Joe M Conversation:
Maddon: What do you guys think of armadillos?
Mauer: I’ve never really thought about them.
Montana: They are kinda like rocks with feet.
Maddon: I’m thinking about bringing a bunch of them into the locker-room for the players to enjoy.
McCarthy: Why would they enjoy them?
Morgan: They could play catch with them.
Maddon: If you choose well the players enjoy them. I brought in an elephant once. That didn’t work very well as it could barely squeeze through the Wrigley Field hallways and it got stuck a couple of times. Its trunk was smashing lightbulbs, and trophies, fire extinguishers were knocked off the wall. When we finally got it into the locker room… it took up all the space and the players got trapped inside their lockers. In hindsight it was a mistake to try and get it into that small room.
Morgan: Wow… the Cubs organization must have been a little upset with you.
Maddon: Thankfully they didn’t know… I asked everyone not to mention it.
5. Miss America – Miss North Dakota is the new Miss America. I didn’t watch but the other 184 North Dakotans were talking about it so I am aware. It’s been probably decades since I’ve watched the pageant but I remember thinking that presidential elections should be a similar format. All 50 states are represented, they get asked important questions like, “If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?" If the Presidential candidates also had to compete in talent and swimsuit, we would have all the information we currently use to make decisions and the whole thing can be condensed into a 3 hour show.
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TWINS
Brian Dozier 2B
Joe Mauer 1B
Byron Buxton CF
Jorge Polanco SS
Eddie Rosario RF
Eduardo Escobar 3B
Robbie Grossman DH
Jason Castro C
Ehire Adrianza LF
Ervin Santana P
YANKEES
Brett Gardner LF
Aaron Judge RF
Gary Sanchez C
Didi Gregorius SS
Chase Headley DH
Starlin Castro 2B
Jacoby Ellsbury CF
Todd Frazier 3B
Greg Bird 1B
Jaime Garcia P
Weather: you'll have to look it up yourselves. These articles are difficult enough to edit from my phone.
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