Vanimal46

We've got some goodies to start the week.... Today is National French Bread Day! Bread is my guilty pleasure... Especially when it's warm and the butter melts right on the bread... Today is also National Common Courtesy Day! So say your please and thank you to anyone that responds to your messages on TD. Today is also National California Strawberry Day! Are strawberries back to tasting good in the grocery stores? I'm a little hesitant to give them a try after the last batch I bought.... Today is also National Single Parent Day! Single parents are modern day heroes with all that they do.

I'm hoping it's not a near 50/50 split between Murphy and Suzuki. I could see that split for the first month and change, but beyond that I'd like to see a 65/35 split favoring Murphy. IMO .744 OPS is pretty optimistic. Getting to .700 OPS should be the goal.

3 big 12 teams is pretty bold but so far you're still in the running Dave. Better than mine where I have already lost 2 final four teams in Michigan State and Kentucky.

Under. They should be one of the worst teams in the AL, and I think this is the year they trade away Sonny Gray.

Loved their story last year, but this year I'm going under. Tough to bounce back after losing Price and Burhle...

Quilting is a lost art that's for sure. My grandmother was great at it, and I still have one of her blue blankets she made for me when I was born. It may be falling apart on some seams, but I can't get myself to throw it away. Especially now that she passed.

"If Nolasco makes the rotation I will..." Go to McDonald's and ask for the store manager. I will disguise myself as Vanimal, AKA Ricky Nolasco's Promotional Agent. Let the store manager know that Ricky wants to endorse their brand, and demand to get in contact with the higher ups. He gives me some referrals that he's heard of in passing, and leaves it at that. Ah ha! A lead in the case.... Next thing I do, follow up on those leads. Unfortunately they're just other McDonald's store managers, so I demand for more referrals. That's the key to this business guys, NETWORKING.... After speaking to 24 store managers in a row, and ready to admit defeat, a small victory happens... It's a junior associate marketing coordinator! I can feel it, something good is about to happen.. This person refers me to his boss; his boss's boss; her boss's boss's boss.......On and on it went. 3 months of eating, sleeping, BREATHING nothing but networking, and I hit the jackpot!! The Regional Promotions Manger of McDonald's. Now is the time to implement phase 2: Great news! McDonald's approved the plan for Ricky Nolasco to appear in 4 separate commercials shown exclusively on Fox Sports North and MLB.tv. Streaming fans like me will see nothing but Ricky Nolasco for 2016-2018.... He will be compensated with free McDonald's for life. The tricky part is how can I get Ricky so addicted to McDonald's food where he eats himself out of the league? Well, that's where his kids and wife need to come into play. Kids LOVE McDonald's! I don't need to worry about getting them on board when there's free ice cream involved. His wife is the toughest hurdle to cross in order for this plan to succeed. $15k later... I know what you're thinking; the term I wouldn't use is BRIBE. Anyway, I got her to have this conversation with Ricky every day: "What do you want for dinner, babe?" "Ah, I don't know. I just got home from the ballpark. Do you feel like anything in particular?" "I don't know, and I don't feel like cooking." "Well, we could order in from that new Chinese place down the street." "Hmm, no, I don't know about Chinese......" "Thai?" "Ummmmm, no not that either......." "Tacos?" "I just had tacos for lunch..." "Ugh!! FINE. What about McDonald's? Vanimal hooked our family up with free meals for life..." "GREAT! I'll go get the kids." This went on every day for 6 months. At that point, it became habitual for Ricky to stop at McDonald's every day after practice, at the airport, on the way to the dentist, etc. There was something comforting with a vanilla ice cream cone in his hand. Especially because he started looking more like Bartolo Colon whenever he looked in the mirror. Fans were upset, management was losing patience by the day. You know who never spoke mean things about him? The vanilla ice cream cone.... Things are piling up for ol' Rick. On top of that, his fastball velocity decreases from 92 to 82, and he can't find the magic again. Poor Ricky is given the ultimatum: Find your fastball, or your time here is OVER. He's lost it guys. It's gone forever. All because of 4 lousy regional commercials. The Twins have no choice but to eat the salary, and let him go..... I'm hoping to get this all accomplished by November 2018. Wish me luck!

Well that was fun while it lasted. Something called Middle Tennessee State ruined my bracket and probably 50% of all brackets out there

"If Nolasco makes the rotation I will...." Go in for root canal surgery during his scheduled starts. It may be just as painful.

"If Nolasco makes the rotation I will...." Watch "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" during his scheduled starts. Yes, I have stooped that low.

Great question Dinger. I can't say I know many guys that consume and enjoy cottage cheese. Always likes cottage cheese, so you may be on to something!

I'll take the word you recently used..... Ick.

"If Nolasco makes the rotation I will...." Eat cottage cheese. And I HATE cottage cheese.

"If Nolasco makes the rotation I will...." Go shopping with Miss Vanimal. That should be punishment enough.

To be fair I didn't want to read another Nolasco sucks thread, so I high jacked it assuming twinscowboysbulls wanted to go the humor route. And I wanted something to do instead of work on a Friday afternoon....

"If Nolasco makes the rotation I will...." Dream about how athletic Sano is. DiscGolfer drinks. Game thread inside joke. Hope to see everyone there when the season begins!

"If Nolasco makes the rotation I will...." Clean the house during his scheduled starts. Beer cans don't recycle themselves, you know?

"If Nolasco makes the rotation I will...." Focus on crossword puzzles. What's a 7 letter word for "Last name of the most polarizing Minnesota Twins pitcher"?

"If Nolasco makes the rotation I will...." Call my mom during his scheduled starts. Find out what she's been up to. Not like I have anything better to do during that time. Always call your mom, people.

"If Nolasco makes the rotation I will...." Start reading more books during his scheduled starts. Maybe even pick up the newspaper. Get caught up on current events.

"If Nolasco makes the rotation I will...." Consider taking up a new hobby during his scheduled starts. Maybe dancing, looking into people's windows, the options are endless!

"If Nolasco makes the rotation I will...." Turn off the TV during his scheduled starts and go outside.

"If Nolasco makes the rotation I will...." Probably drink a TON during his scheduled starts.

The acoustics in here are incredible! HELLO-hello-ello-llo-lo-o

It's absolutely mind.boggling. why someone would do that. But if that's really the case, then there's a little more legitimacy in what LaRoche is doing. I have no idea how this came about, but I have a couple of theories why the White Sox decided to go this route: - Several players came to complain about Drake LaRoche being in the locker room all the time, and Kenny Williams is taking the blame for the players that did complain. - Several players wanted their kids inside the clubhouse as well, and they realized the hypocrisy of allowing 1 player to do it, and others can't. - This is the most brilliant way to rid your organization of an albatross contract of all-time. Not sure what's the real cause of this.