formerly33

OHHH YEAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Still wanna jam a pitchfork up his behind?!

Okay. Crazy woman kills two men and feeds them to her pigs. Ish or ick?

No wonder the number of Twins fans in the past few years has declined. The ones that stick around are just too repulsive to want to be categorized with. What do I say? Ish?

Would it be infringement of copyright and invasion of privacy for me to post a picture to back up my point?

You seem to have forgotten that zucchinis have to be replaced after each wearing, and from my experience, they are not cheaper than leather gloves unless you are wearing the ones that you grew in your garden and the bunnies nibbled on and you decided were too...um...ish to eat.

I just realized that I said that Bark is Bob. Well, would you believe it, Bob is the name of my grandpa that Bark reminds me of. It all fits together soo perfectly.

Yes. Kind of like Bob Wallace and Phil Davis, right? You're Phil and you write the songs, and Bark is Bob and composes the music.

And now the T*gers are screeching the B-word instead of the T-word.

Bark will have to say, "Waaait for it..." like the pigeons in Bolt.

Hrbowski, your signature reminds me of Ogden Nash's - "At midnight in the museum hall The fossils gathered for a ball There were no drums or saxophones, But just the clatter of their bones, A rolling, rattling, carefree circus Of mammoth polkas and mazurkas. Pterodactyls and brontosauruses Sang ghostly prehistoric choruses. Amid the mastodontic wassail I caught the eye of one small fossil. 'Cheer up, sad world,' he said, and winked- 'It's kind of fun to be extinct.' " I think that the Carnival of the Animals is on my mind right now. But you should seriously add that to your signature. The only thing it's lacking is some reference to the cellist in the petrified orchestra...er...choir.

Where does the "Whoopie" come in? Comerica Park?

Hicks' fourth AB: Snooze...BANG....Jump and choke...Whoopie!! Did that jinx it?

I used to wear cherry earrings. I was able to take them out and eat them, and I did not have to have ear lobe reconstructive surgery. Bet you can't beat that.

Speaking of bans, I know that warning points are not quite bans, but the other day I discovered that yes, even Brock can collect 'em:

Crude joke about Brian Dozier = ish. Right?

Go at it. If they give me just one or two clues, I feel sure I can catch on. Being a woman, I'm pretty quick that way. Or, if they refrain, you can give me the link to the thread that this was going on in. Or maybe I can guess.

Hm, give it a little more thought and you'll get there. And speaking of ick and ish, Hrbowski was telling me that there was a difference, but he couldn't remember. He didn't know if he believed it, and unfortunately I missed it. However, from what I heard, I have a feeling that I'd agree. So could you kindly explain? I want to know, you know.

Yeah, right, now you've raised everybody's expectations, and I'll strike out like a true...pro.

Try it. I'd love to see the result. I've tried, but I get stumped at anything beyond plays off of Casey at the Bat.

Jelly Doughnut. This gives me an idea for my game thread on Thursday.

This reminds me of The Aquarium from Bruce Adolphe's Carnival of the Animals poems: "Tuna fish swim in the deep blue ocean They never swim in a lake. But tuna fish haven't the slightest notion That people like to eat tuna steak. If any fish knows what music's about (Which is something that I sincerely doubt) It's probably only the rainbow trout ... But no fish I know from shrimp to whales Ever had to practice scales. And that's because they're born with those; But they never quite learn their arpeggios."

I thought this would be a pretty fitting subject after all the heated discussions I've been finding all over that magical thing we call the internet. Not that I want to discuss the actual controversy of whether or not the Twins players should all line up during the national anthem; if you want to talk about that, go to the thread called "Do the Minnesota Twins hate America, and do you care?" or PM me to find out what I think (I never did bother to say anything on that thread - which I guess is a pretty good indication of whether I care or not - fine, then, forget the PM). But this post is not going to be the place for such a controversial topic. I'm going to discuss a totally different aspect of the same song, one that I think has been neglected lately. Let's go back in time to 1968. Forget the war, forget all the problems that were going on in America at that time. We're going to talk baseball. Remember that year's World Series? To be honest, it was nearly 30 years before I was born, but we'll ignore that little detail and focus on the fact that a lot of people do remember it. The Tigers were hosting the Cardinals, and José Feliciano, a young Puerto Rican singer who was just coming into his own at the time, was singing the national anthem at the beginning of game 5. He wanted to give a different rendition of the song than anyone else had ever heard before. He wanted everyone to stand up and listen with a newfound respect for the song. Instead, he was booed with great enthusiasm. There was an uproar all across the nation that took him years to live down. However, 42 years later, Feliciano sang The Star-Spangled Banner once more, this time before game 1 of the 2012 NLCS with the Giants hosting the Cardinals. He sang in the same, once infamous style that had shocked the audience of the late '60's, but this time the crowd went wild. What happened? Well, to put it simply, people learned to appreciate his interpretation of The Star-Spangled Banner. In fact, everybody who sings it now tries to come up with their own, unique interpretation of the song; they want it to be different, bolder, and better than the last. But unless you're actually addicted to following the song as closely as you follow the scores, you're not going to notice anything different anymore. Every new rendition of the song sounds the same as the last. So why doesn't somebody do what's different, innovative, and fresh - why doesn't somebody sing a comeback interpretation - meaning, no interpretation at all? In this day in the age of The Star-Spangled Banner, it might be a good thing for somebody to sing our national anthem at its simplest and at its best. Sometimes people just have to realize that there can be grace in the very omission of grace notes. So hopefully someday soon, in the playoffs perhaps, we will see that flag raised high at the twilight's last gleaming, bathed in the artificial lights of Target Field, and the last strains of, "Oh, say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave o'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?" echoing across the field with an ingenious omission of any clever interpretation. Maybe the world would open its ears and notice something truly different this time. Maybe it would kick off the singer's career. Who knows? They say that stranger things have happened.

Nothing goes right today, does it? I had 4 perfect days in a row, and now everything is falling down around my ears. What next? I burn whatever I decide to make for Mom for supper? Speaking of which, any suggestions?

Wait, hold on one sec. Don't you love Gustavo Dudamel? http://www.rte.ie/presspack/files/2012/09/Gustavo-Dudamel-conducting.jpg

That ball is, well...questionable. But I won't complain.