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Can we have Grossman lead off and Nunez hit second? Or, for the heck of it, Buxton 1st followed by Grossman and Nunez. And by the way, 5 is too good for Dozier.

I really can't blame Molly too much, but if Rosario can be sent down for stealing third without a signal, something can surely be done about this. I'm not saying it won't, but the frustration arises because of the extent to which we have employed bunting lately. Molly treats bunts as if they are the way of the future; he has conditioned the team to sac bunt endlessly, so Nunez naturally reverted to it. Bunts are outdated. They may have been the way of the past, but some managers and coaches simply have got to stop digging their heels in and assuming that since something worked 20 years ago, it'll work today. New strategies develop, and you have to stay on top of the game to compete. I think someone else posted a link explaining bunts and win expectancies. I'd like Molly to look into that. He can't treat baseball of the past like Revelation 22:18. He needs to adopt the thinking of a skeptic, explore the Darwinian theory of evolution, get over tradition, and accept the fact that we need to adapt to the changing environment called Major League Baseball in order to survive.

Oh no. Weird is definitely a learned behavior.

Who wants to think about a team that's on pace for 110 losses and allows an average of 1.4 home runs per game? A team that has been outscored 289-204 thus far and is on pace to be outscored 851-601 – by a grand total of 250 runs – this season? Therefore, I have carefully expunged any mentions of this harrowing topic from our five things to think about for the day: 1. High school baseball. It's the best, man. 2. "All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts." Four lines from an old play which has survived the ages because the playwright was Shakespeare, who in turn has also survived the ages because he wrote it. I can't help but wonder, though, if all the world's a stage, why isn't there intermission? At best we get an entr'acte now and then. And how did they confuse the word "tickets" with "taxes"? 3. My Generation. It's always the same ... that's why the song is so timeless. My generation is exactly like the last. We're a generation which, like every generation before it, has had to put up with people trying to put us d-down. My generation is often referred to as the "selfie generation," a term which is intended to be a derogatory reference to the frequency with which we take selfies and the assumption that we're more about we, ourselves, and us than they were at our age. All I can say is, whoever came up with that idea clearly couldn't think of much else, either. And too bad iPhones weren't around when you were kids ... you missed out big time. There's nothing wrong with taking a selfie; there's nothing wrong with having your picture taken (unless of course you're stuck in some stone age conservative religious group). Get over it. 4. Think about the preceding generation. The truth is, we missed out big time, too. '87 and '91 World Series ... baseball players with mustaches and mullets ... the grunge fashion craze (yes, I'm obsessed) ... Teen Spirit ... audio cassettes ... riot grrrl ... Buffy ... pagers ... car phones ... the good ol' MS-DOS ... continuous stationary ... and okay, even I admit I don't really want to return to this level of antiquity. 5. I was going to go back to the generation that actually listened to "My Generation" when it first hit the charts, but this is getting a little weird, even for a game thread. So, for this last thought, think about how the brain is the most wonderful organ in your body. And then think about who's telling you that. Weather: Mostly sunny, with a high near 79. West wind 10 to 15 mph. Lineups: RAYS (24-30): CF Mikie Mahtook [R] SS Brad Miller [L] 3B Evan Longoria [R] 1B Logan Morrison [L] DH Steve Pearce [R] LF Corey Dickerson [L] RF Steven Souza, Jr. [R] C Hank Conger 2B Tim Beckham [R] SP Drew Smyly [L] TWINS (16-39): 3B Eduardo Nunez [R] 2B Brian Dozier [R] DH Joe Mauer [L] 1B Byung-ho Park [R] LF Robbie Grossman SS Eduardo Escobar RF Max Kepler [L] C Kurt Suzuki [R] CF Byron Buxton [R] SP Tyler Duffey [R]

JINX!

Sorry ... reading it over, it didn't really make sense. Sadly, I'm not a geek, so I fail at making geeky posts. They say you don't really understand something if you can't explain it. But then, I never professed to actually understand the red shift and the expanding universe and etc. I'm just intrigued by it.

Spin's answer is correct, but it raises the question of how space can be created when matter only changes. The best explanation to that I (who probably knows less about it than Spinowner) am aware of is that space is continuous and has no center. When you think about the structure of an atom, it's somewhat similar on a significantly smaller scale than moon to planet, planet to star, star to galaxy, etc. When you think about these relations, it makes sense that in their orbit the galaxies move away from each other, hence the red shift and expansion.

They're from White Bear. If you spent all your time in Mahtomedi, I guess you missed 'em. My mom, by the way, is very beautiful. How dare you ...

Still are.

Andriese vs. Santana – Matt Andriese may be 0-1 with a 15 ERA in one career appearance against the Twins, but that was last year when he pitched 3 innings in relief for Nathan Karns and gave up 5, allowing a Brian Dozier home run which scored Byron Buxton, an Escobar double which scored Plouffe and Suzuki, and a Buxton double which scored Escobar. In those 3 innings, he also struck out 5. Ervin Santana happened to start that game and only went 2.2 innings, allowing 5 earned runs on 8 hits whilst walking 2 and striking out only 1. Fortunately, Andriese (and, of course, J.R. Graham and the Twins' offense) saved the day. One game is, of course, a very small sample size. Santana's SO9 thus far this season is 7.7, while Andriese's is only 5.2. However, Andriese has pitched well for Tampa Bay since his callup from Triple-A last month. Ervin Santana has not pitched so well, as we all know, though he tossed what is considered by old scholars to be a quality start in his last outing in Oakland. Apparently, starting in Oakland wasn't a lucky thing to do since they swept us ... Rays – The Tampa Bay Rays originally started out in 1998 as the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, but after the 2007 season they decided to honor R&B legend Ray Charles who spent a year in Tampa before moving on to bigger and better things. Because Ray Charles wasn't usually referred to as "Devil Ray" and Bud Selig objected to the idea of a baseball team called the Genius, they ended up simply dropping the Devil from their moniker. The decision proved to be judicial as they went on to win the pennant in '08 and had the unusual opportunity of assisting the Phillies in taking a World Series championship, something which hadn't been done since 1980 when the Royals held that privilege. Of course, it wasn't until then that Stuart Sternberg realized it might have been wiser to emulate Ray Charles' style of moving on to bigger and better things. Since Seattle wasn't available, Vancouver seemed mighty appealing ... but it hasn't happened yet, and Tropicana Field continues to struggle bringing in (and keeping in) fans. The Rays are so used to playing in an empty stadium, Target Field feels almost like home field advantage except for the atmosphere. Violas – If you think listening to Dick and Bert is bad, just wait until you hear a beginner on a viola. That's why most violists start out on the violin. I had the misfortune of being the sister of a beginning violist; fortunately, this is no longer the case, but one fine summer afternoon a couple years ago I remember hearing my sister practicing her viola and thinking to myself, "Hey, she doesn't sound half bad for once." That's when I realized it was my neighbor mowing the lawn. Weather: A 30 percent chance of showers and thunderstorms, mainly between 1pm and 4pm. Cloudy, with a high near 68. North northwest wind 5 to 10 mph. Lineups: RAYS (23-30): SS Brad Miller [L] 3B Evan Longoria [R] 1B Logan Morrison [L] DH Steve Pearce [R] LF Corey Dickerson [L] RF Steven Souza Jr. [R] CF Mikie Mahtook [R] C Hank Conger 2B Tim Beckham [R] SP Matt Andriese [R] TWINS (16-38): SS Eduardo Nunez [R] DH Joe Mauer [L] 2B Brian Dozier [R] 3B Trevor Plouffe [R] LF Robbie Grossman 1B Byung-ho Park [R] RF Max Kepler [L] C Juan Centeno [L] CF Byron Buxton [R] SP Ervin Santana [R] Predictions: Rays win, but go Twins anyway. Also, go Zephs! I will be at the game today.

The tuba actually predates John Philip Sousa by a fair amount.

There's plenty of other threads for these types of comments. Game threads are supposed to be lighter, fun.

Strikeouts?

Yeah, and while that's discouraged in other threads, it's okay in game threads. For instance, this reminds me of a strange incident at Wal-Mart last week. I was about to check out a large bag of Nutrisource Weight Management dog food for our four pooches when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had ... an elephant? So on impulse, I told her that no, actually I didn't have a dog; I was starting the Nutrisource Diet again, though I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time around. On the bright side, though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I woke up in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet, and the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Nutrisource kibbles and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, and because the food is nutritionally complete, I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard! WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.

Yes. But not on the tuba.

Since when do mods prohibit off-topic comments in game threads?

The curtain rises to a thin man in full team array seated comfortably in a swivel chair in the Twins' clubhouse, right leg crossed over the left to form a triangle between the two, notepad and pen in hand. The numbers 2, 5, 7, 8, 9, 24, 25, 26, 36, and 52 have been penned in an orderly row, and his finger moves slowly up and down the line, occasionally pausing to mark a tally by a number. Stepping closer, you can hear him murmuring softly under his breath as he nears the end of this agonizing process and taps his finger back and forth between the two remaining numbers, 5 and 25: "Eenie, meenie, miney, mo ... and you are not it." With a sweeping motion he crosses off the 5 and marks a tally of 9 after 25. As the curtain drops dramatically, you realize to your horror that he is in fact not choosing his Power Ball numbers for Saturday night but rather preparing the lineup for the day. This trial and error method is actually how Paul Molitor determines which lineup to present each game. If it works, he recycles to save time. Things don't look much better in the front office. Indeed, Terry's schematic approach is startlingly similar to Paul's, so I won't elaborate. However, it was after witnessing a few of his moves that I realized I shouldn't get too upset with the players for doing poorly. When you think about it, every single one of them is probably more invested in the game than any of us and therefore more affected by a loss. Of course, they're all out there trying their hardest ... if they lose, it's their fault since they played, but at the same time, it's not their fault since they just play their position to the best of their abilities. If someone puts together a team that can't win, you can't exactly blame the team for not winning. Quite naturally, we're assured it's just a young team which needs to work out a few snags before breaking out next year. In the meantime, in between time, it can be remarkably depressing, but depression often goes hand in hand with youth. Things that were depressing in youth: 1. Having to throw away your ice cream at the Dairy Queen because your mom found a worm in hers. 2. Rolling your basketball into the street in front of a big four wheeler, consequentially witnessing its demise. 3. Bringing home a helium balloon from the grocery store only to have to bid adieu within minutes and watch it float away into history because your brothers didn't have the good common sense to hold onto theirs. Or, if you're my brother, 1. Discovering to your dismay that your Audubon squeeze eagle won't sing forever. 2. Building an elaborate ice house in dedication of Kalevi Aho only to have it get swallowed up by the pond in spring. 3. Joseph Johnson leaving his rank and file position in the Minnesota Orchestra to take up the principal position for Milwaukee. Weather: A chance of showers and thunderstorms. Mostly cloudy, with a temperature of about 70 °F at start time. South southwest wind 5 to 10 mph. Chance of precipitation is 35%. Lineups: RAYS (22-30): DH Brandon Guyer [R] SS Brad Miller [L] 3B Evan Longoria [R] 1B Logan Morrison [L] RF Steven Souza Jr. [R] LF Corey Dickerson [L] CF Mikie Mahtook [R] 2B Taylor Motter [R] C Hank Conger SP Jake Odorizzi [R] TWINS (16-37): SS Eduardo Nunez [R] 1B Joe Mauer [L] 2B Brian Dozier [R] 3B Trevor Plouffe [R] LF Robbie Grossman DH Byung-ho Park [R] RF Max Kepler [L] C Kurt Suzuki [R] CF Byron Buxton [R] SP Ricky Nolasco [R] In case you remain undecided, GO TWINS!!

The only doughnuts worth eating are the ones from Pine Tree Apple Orchard ... mmmm. Out of this world. If it's chocolate, I'll eat it. Like most people, that's my guilty pleasure. Unfortunately, I'm finally beginning to feel normal again after being sick all week from homemade chocolate ice cream I ate at a carry in at church ... and no, I'm not like Jonathan Blake ... I just got sick from the raw egg. However, since it's repeat day, I'll relay the poem which was definitely a favorite as a child. At least, it was a favorite of my older sisters', so I heard it enough to have fond memories of it. After the Party by William Wise Jonathan Blake Ate too much cake, He isn't himself today; He's tucked up in bed With a feverish head, And he doesn't much care to play. Jonathan Blake Ate too much cake, And three kinds of ice cream too - From latest reports He's quite out of sorts, And I'm sure the reports are true. I'm sorry to state That he also ate Six pickles, a pie and a pear; In fact I confess It's a reasonable guess He ate practically everything there. Yes, Jonathan Blake Ate too much cake, So he's not at his best today; But there's no need for sorrow - If you come back tomorrow, I'm sure he'll be out to play.