formerly33

"Now he turns around to hit frm the left side," says Hawk ... and then adds, somewhat hopefully, "which is his weak side." Vargas swings at the first pitch. Silence for a moment before making the necessary call.

I know; that was my favorite! I'm rooting for her ... but you already know that.

You mean ... this has happened before?! Were you that misinformed Bostonian who called Plouffe Dozier in that news article somebody shared a while back?

Okay ... Mauer decided to choose power. Fortunately, his average goes up with each home run he hits, so I think he chose wisely.

Okay, Nunez grounds out to the pitcher but somehow he ends up on second. Hawk's pretty quiet.

I guess this is going to be the 12-2 Twins win. I like.

Oh, he makes that throw alright. The question is, does the throw make it?

BUCK!!!

And Vargas shoots himself in the foot. He needs to realize that he's not the genius manager that's gonna lead the Twins team this year.

Hey there guys ... hold on, this could still be a 2-1 loss.

I don't want to hear the story. All I was saying is that it has nothing to do with women themselves but the fact that they used to (and sadly still do) wear corsets restricted their breathing so in instances when they should have been drawing in deep breathes to sustain themselves in certain situations, they were unable to and fainted. I'd like to see it become the fashion for men to wear corsets and see if fainting became a way for men to express their delicate anatomy. No, wait, I don't. We'll put such primitiveness behind us. But did you say "never diss women in corsets"? I don't. It's the men who expected them to meet their "high" standards of feminine beauty that did it.

Ahem ... true story ..... Sitting in a chair and reading a book one uneventful afternoon, my mom was interrupted by my youngest brother, then 5 years old, when he held out his hand and said, "Look at my hangnail, Mom ... it's all red." She looked up and checked it out as instructed, and, without thinking (why should she have?), she coolly remarked that it was infected. Lil' bro immediately turned a sickly shade of greenish white and wanted to know what affected was. The definition was not supplied, but mom sent him upstairs to get a clipper for her to fix it for him. He returned looking queasier than ever and offered his hand, but before Mom had time to take it he fell backwards slowly and eloquently - and hit his head on a wooden chair in the downfall. That drew the attention that (according to the generally accepted reason hot young chicks used to faint in the good old days) he was looking for; finally alert, my mom leapt to her feet and shouted at my dad, "He hit his head! Why didn't you catch him!" Now you say, "Yeah, they always blame the husband," but don't waste your breath. I'm putting it down for you now. And why shouldn't they? If wives never blamed their husbands, the scale would be unequally balanced. Another true story ..... One year later, Lil Bro had a loose tooth. It was his first, and he was afraid to lose it - maybe having had it 5-6 years left some pretty good memories and he'd become sentimentally attached? I don't know. Anyway, it was a change over the last little brother who was so excited when his first tooth wiggled that he had it out by the end of the day (maybe he had some bad memories ... who knows?). Anyway, this tooth hung by a thread for a long time. One day when my mom was brushing his teeth, she noticed that it no longer hung by a thread but remained intact because gravity dictated it to do so. She reached in and picked it up ... Lil' Bro didn't notice ... she held it up ... Lil' Bro repeated the artistic performance he'd given us the year before. He proceeded to do this for the rest of his lower central incisors and perhaps even a lateral incisor. After a while he seemed to realize that the drama had worn off and we were expecting it to happen, so one day he lost a tooth and, much to our surprise, he didn't faint. Now that he's ten years old and we expect him to take it like a man instead of a girl with corsets on, I wonder if he picks it back up to shock us? Or would he have to lose something more dramatic, such as the World Series?

Fun with numbers: Duensing is set to give up .98 runs this inning.

This is not funny. http://cdn.playbuzz.com/cdn/db91f2c4-1e03-4cf5-b6c9-af6d5d46f6eb/224bf913-0a94-4e7b-85f7-99875344bd8d.gif

I want to say Andrew Albers ... not sure if that will be considered a valid response.

Go Anastasia Kobekina and Julia Kociuban! #GirlsRuleTheDay

Happy Father's Day to every father on here (and those who aren't - I wouldn't want to exclude my dad)! And for those who aren't fathers, remember your dad or at least hopefully somebody who serves as a father figure in your life. They sure do make a difference. And ... our starting pitcher, Kyle Gibson! I like Kyle. He was really our only decent starting pitcher last year besides Phil Hughes, and if it wasn't for him, who knows how high of a draft pick we would have gotten (see, I'm trying to be positive about a not-so-good thing). He might have just gotten 2 consecutive losses to make his record 4-5, but in this month he's made 3 starts so far and got a no decision in the first while giving up 5 runs, and the next time he gave up 5 runs but fate did not smile on him and he picked up the loss. The last time he gave up 3 runs and got the loss, but the Twins were playing in St. Louis and didn't back him up like they should have. Now if he can keep it down to 3 runs again today, all he needs to do is go 7 innings to have a quality start and all the rest of his teammates need to do is hit 12 triples and not allow any more runs, and we'll win this game by one run. Sample already said that Arrieta walked 6 in his last start, so the Twins should be patient at the plate today and see how Arrieta and the ump are going to handle the zone.

Nope, Tabata was not following the pitch. He did that on purpose. Now this is not a nice thought at all, and I suppose people are really going to love me for saying this, but I almost hope that he gets hit again tomorrow ... in the same spot.

Always33 Oh wait, that's not to mean myself - I forgot what that would look like, lol. Make it This33: http://cdn.fansided.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/259/files/2015/03/justin-morneau-mlb-colorado-rockies-photo-day.jpg

I always wanted to have the wisdom of an owl. Now I'm not so sure.

And the tornado sirens go off in celebration. At least in my neighborhood, unless I can hear them coming all the way from Target Field, which would explain why it took a minute or two to get here.

That. Looked. AWESOME.

For me, all doubt was removed when I read the first article about the shooting.

SSo1 ... so sorry I stole this from you. I thought I was supposed to do it. Let's hope that Byron Buxton steals home as unexpectedly today.

Saturday 6/20, 1:10 PM CT at Target Field TV: FS-N; Radio: Go 96.3, TIBN Weather: Mostly cloudy, with a high near 80. South wind 10 to 15 mph becoming west southwest 5 to 10 mph in the afternoon. Lineups: CUBS (35-30): [We're waiting on you, Mr. Madden...] 1. Fowler, CF 2. Rizzo, 1B 3. Bryant, 3B 4. Coghlan, LF 5. Castro, SS 6. Schwarber, DH 7. Denorfia, RF 8. Ross, C 9. Russell, 2B Jon Lester, LHP (4-5, 3.99 ERA) TWINS (37-30): 1. Dozier, 2B 2. Rosario, LF 3. Mauer, DH 4. Plouffe, 3B 5. Hunter, RF 6. Suzuki, C 7. Vargas, 1B 8. Escobar, SS 9. Buxton, CF Trevor May, RHP (4-5, 4.26 ERA) Shhh … it looks like the Twins are un-slumping. June - At one point this month, the Twins were 3-9. That's worse than we were at any other time this year, even in April. However, we split a split series with the Cardinals (the correct terminology fails to come to mind), and, considering that the Cards are the best team in baseball, that's something to be proud of. It reminds me of earlier this season when the Twins were in an eerily similar scenario but managed to win a series against the Royals (then the best team in baseball), and from then on we've been pretty generally recognized as the surprise team of the year - when people stop to think about us, that is. Sadly, our current record for June is only 7-11 (if I counted correctly), and yet somehow we are still 7 games above .500 ball and the second best team in the AL Central … and when you stop to think that just the other day it was 4-11 … we can dry our eyes. I think that I can safely say that this is no accidental call-up team, and if we can get on another roll similar to the one in May.... Playoffs - Okay, I know it's still way early, but I was thinking about this possibility, and this is what I came up with. The Twins got off to a terrible start in April, but we pulled out of it and rocketed through May until we were the best team in the AL. Unfortunately we got off to another bad start in June, but if we could pull out of it and repeat the May performance in July, I think we'd have a little pattern going. So is it totally unreasonable for me to assume that we'll get off to a terrible August and then steal September, ending with the best record in the AL, and then (this is where my woes start) would we … ahem … get off to a terrible October? Twins, I think it's time to rethink your plans when you still have time, or this'll end up looking too much like the Gardy regime. Cubs Fans - I think that the general consensus among Minnesotans when it comes to Chicagoan teams is that the Cubs are more lovable than the Sox, and I won't disagree. They actually hold quite a special place in my heart since I can't help but like the teams that are building up from the minors and at the moment have top prospects coming up in waves. In fact, if it weren't for their unrivaled fan base, the Cubs would probably be my favorite NL team, but as it is, I'm forced in my loyalty to Morneau to stick with the Rockies. There's no fan like the Cubs fan. They are some of the greatest baseball minds out there, and, considering that even the oldest and wisest of them all can't remember winning a World Series, I'd have to say that they win the prize for fidelity, too. They don't have a bit of the bandwagon about them, and they never stop believin'. One of their greatest traits is the way they run from stadium to stadium in their sagacious realization that MLB offers the best chain of bars in all the world, and Wrigley with its rats and ivy and ancient urinals is the center of the universe and therefore the one to sing praises of when attending any other. At the ballpark, they're smart enough to know that baseball is just a secondary form of entertainment, kind of like waitresses; what baseball games are really all about is beer, cotton candy, throwing garbage on the field, counting cute girls in the stands, and screaming insults at the opposing team whenever they remember that small but important detail. They'll drink so much before the 7th inning that I'm pretty sure they're still somewhat tipsy by the time the next game rolls around, and no doubt they put their extreme and celebrated intelligence into play and have the foresight to buy extra beer to last them through the 15th inning if necessary. The greatest cause of all comes only when visiting one of the 29 other bars in the MLB chain: it is the attempt to convert young and innocent fans of the home team into rooting for their darling Cubbies. They cleverly start out by talking about what a terrible team the kids are rooting for, and after about five minutes of that they begin to drive the point home that the Cubs hold the proudest, most legendary position in all of baseball history, meanwhile interjecting words of vile profanity whenever they feel the need (but even more often when they don't). Now that I think of it, I won't deny them the honor of Most Legendary Position in Baseball History. But the rest … cough. When conversing with a slightly older age group, they're sure to throw in talk about how the Cubs' farm system is so much better than the Twins' or Red Sox'. In fact, their farm system is so magnificent, they quack, neigh, oink, and moo to drive their point home until the only thing you can think about is how to get rid of this constant cock-a-doodle-doo. Their incredible baseball acumen enables them to sleuth out the most amazing and miniscule (and always disgracefully overlooked) facts to back their statements about how the Cubs are the one and only team in baseball. Of course there's always the comeback response of "scoreboard" or simply "1908" (unless you're from Milwaukee, in which instance they'll retort "2108"), but if they happen to win a game (or worse yet, a series) against your team, you'll never hear the end of it, even if six years later you sweep them twice in a row. To condense all of that into a single sentence, they certainly know how to hold a special and permanent place in your mind. Well, besides Morneau, that's pretty much all that keeps the Cubs from being my favorite NL team. The worst thing about it is that I personally know more of their fans than I know of any other team besides the Twins (and the Packers, of course). Luckily the one who's going to be harassing me if we lose this series at least understands the game. He's a pretty respectable man and thank heavens is a native of Chicago, but nevertheless, he still knows how to get under my skin like a true pro … um, Cubs fan. Whenever I talk to him about the Twins, he interrupts before I'm even a third of the way through my first sentence to tell me that the Cubs are catching up. It was humorous for a little while, but after months of repetition, it's getting pretty old and my teeth are always worn down to mental stubs by the time my conversations with him are over. Now that I've given what I consider to be a pretty good representation of most Cubs fans (yes, naturally there are smart ones out there, too, so I can't say all), I'll add that I personally like White Sox fans better than Cubs fans. Way better. They know about baseball, they know how to root for their team in Target Field while showing at least some amount of tolerable respect for the home team and fans, and (best of all) they know that beating the Twins is more important than beating some silly neighboring rival that the Chicago Tribune touts as being better than them just to get on their nerves. To put it simply, they just have brains in their heads. And that is why it's so important to me that we win this game. In fact, this is basically the most important series of the whole year for me thus far. That said, I hope I managed to avoid excessive negativity while discussing the plague of my life. If not … well, I promise I'll avoid the subject altogether tomorrow. Oh, and it should be noted that no doubt I'd hate Sox fans just as much if they swarmed the streets of Minnesota like the Cubs fans do, but from my experience, they know they're not welcome and hold back just a little. Thank you, Sox fans. Much appreciated.