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Cap'n Piranha

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Everything posted by Cap'n Piranha

  1. Cap'n Piranha
    I need an "I don't like this, but I appreciate the information you have provided" button.
  2. Cap'n Piranha
    WHY IN THE HELL IS JOE MAUER BUNTING!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
  3. Cap'n Piranha
    The Twins have only given up 1 run in the 1st inning so far this year.
  4. Cap'n Piranha
    That's a nice efficient inning from Tommy.
  5. Cap'n Piranha
    Danny says the Twins' hitting slump is no longer about mechanics. Unless we have a bunch of guys who aren't able to mechanically hit at the major league level...
  6. Cap'n Piranha
    Yeah, given that it's 2016, she'd probably yell at Vanimal for not giving her a trigger warning about his upcoming microaggression, and retreat to her safe space.
  7. Cap'n Piranha
    Actually, based on the drunk/homicidal look below, maybe it's not the best idea... http://blogimages.thescore.com/mlb/files/2012/06/Twins-TATC-99-chewie.png
  8. Cap'n Piranha
    You know what would be awesome? If the Twins trusted a wookie as a closer! Think about how much attendance would skyrocket!
  9. Cap'n Piranha
    The opportunities for me to do that elsewhere in my life are so few and far between that I need every chance I can get.
  10. Cap'n Piranha
  11. Cap'n Piranha
    So you feel like you're saying "Polly want a cracker" and "I taught i taw a pussycat" too much?
  12. Cap'n Piranha
    I hate every ape I see, from Chimpan-a to Chimpan-z.
  13. Cap'n Piranha
    Pictured: Paul Molitor addressing his players one-by-one, with the exact same speech. http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/6d/6ddb9ab71ed5722b5f5733f0cbef0054d8059f42782f14a8d66989936edfabfc.jpg
  14. Cap'n Piranha
    Trevor Plouffe's Sheboygan commercial has him say he can't wait to teach his son how to spot a high quality brat. I want to know why Trevor's dad didn't teach him how to spot a high quality pitch to hit.
  15. Cap'n Piranha
    Cory Provus just mentioned the Twins Kentucky pipeline, naming Darnell, Rogers, Meyer, and Albers. Of course, this ignores the fact we didn't draft Meyer, and got rid of Albers. Not much of a pipeline.
  16. Cap'n Piranha
    Vincent Velazquez struck out 16 guys today. And he wasn't even facing the Twins, making it even more amazing.
  17. Cap'n Piranha
    I guess weak contact is better than no contact. I guess.
  18. Cap'n Piranha
    I like how Gameday adds descriptive words to it's game updates, as in "Eddie Rosario grounds out softly, pitcher Zach Duke to first baseman Jose Abreu". It really helps highlight how ineffectual our hitting has been.
  19. Cap'n Piranha
    Aren't you supposed to be breaking down Carlos Correa somewhere?
  20. Cap'n Piranha
    It also assumes that all teams that start 0-8 or 0-9 are the same, which they're obviously not. If the Twins lose today, but then put up 9 straight 9 game sets where they go 5-4, they would be at .500.
  21. Cap'n Piranha
    There's Dozier with that bankable power!
  22. Cap'n Piranha
    How does he look at the bowl?
  23. Cap'n Piranha
    I know of what I speak.
  24. Cap'n Piranha
    Well, dammit.
  25. Cap'n Piranha
    And apparently now Rosario is hurt too. Who plays OF if he can't?
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