Riverbrian

That was funny!!!

I clicked Like because: A: SampleSize has got a good soul B: I give the set ups some thought(at least 5 of them) and I appreciate the interaction and likes. C: There isn't a clarification button.

Actually... If Snepp or Labombo or anyone could find a GIF for Terry Ryan doing some acting... It would probably be the greatest post ever!!!

You should put a "6." In front of this.

Game-time forecast: Partly cloudy with a 30-percent chance of rain. Winds blowing out to left field at 5-10 m.p.h. Temperature near 70. ChiTown is in Chicago right now getting the lineups from the Managers directly and she will post them here once released. Because she is in Chicago getting the lineups from the Managers directly... She'll posting lineups from the White Sox vs. Padres game. Just pretend... you are interested anyway. Chi here: I was very tempted to post those for fun, but game-time is serous time! Twins: SP, Nolasco Santana CF Dozier 2B Mauer 1B Willingham LF Arcia RF Plouffe 3B Suzuki C Nuñez DH Escobar SS Yankees: SP, Nuño Gardner LF Jeter SS Ellsbury CF Teixiera 1B McCann DH Roberts 2B Suzuki RF Solarte 3B Murphy C -------------------------------------------------- Things to Think About: 1. New York -- New York City is not to be confused with New York State. New York City makes up approximately .0003% of the land mass of New York state and contains approximately 99.9997% of the states population. The reason for this disproportionate ratio of people and land is a 2 mile high wall across the north end of the metro with armed guards that prevent New York City residents and Kurt Russell from moving to someplace nicer like Schenectady. New York City is a combination of five boroughs which were all dug by real large hamsters and a collection of distinct neighborhoods... such as Little Italy which is shaped like a sandal... Chinatown which has the largest population of Portuguese outside of Lisbon... Noho and Soho which were both so-named because the person in charge of naming them was shot dead before he couldn't finish spelling them out... Sugar Hill which is full of gangs that have a peculiar way of speaking (Bang Bang the boogie to the boogie say up jump the boogie)... And Alphabet City which was the home of Jazz Musician Charlie Parker. Charlie was the guy who wrote that 1987 Grammy award winning song. A B C D E F G(Pause) H I J K Ellemenopee (Pause) Q R S (Pause) T U V (Pause) W X Y and Z. New York City is also home to the world famous Katz Deli... Which is where Terry Ryan was filmed by Rob Reiner making odd happy sounds while having lunch with Billy Crystal. 2. Yankee Stadium -- Is situated in the crime invested borough of the Bronx. A new Yankee Stadium had to be built because the old one was boosted at gunpoint. It is modern and has some unique features such as seats behind home plate that cost per game more than the total Gross National Product of 65 countries and a Right field wall that is actually 12 feet in front of the 1st base bag. The Old Yankee stadium was so steeped in history that the ghosts of Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Joe DiMaggio and Mickey Mantle would actually take bites out of your hot dog if you looked away. The ghosts of the old Yankee stadium now hang out at Citi Field in the Queens and use their ghost powers to prevent the Mets from scoring. 3. The 2014 Yankees -- They cost a lot of money to put together with a payroll of 6.7 Billion which is just a hair over the luxury tax threshold. The average age of the team is 77 years old... Chief still tells them to get off his lawn with all their partying and crazy jungle dances. The Yankees are the only team in Major League baseball that doesn't utilize the Disabled List... The Commissioner has granted special status to the Yankees to use hospice care instead. The Activities Director of the Yankees also has a unique job description in comparison to the other 29 teams... Instead of organizing and executing game day promotions for fans in attendance. The Activities Director is in charge of Arts and Crafts and weekly shuffleboard tourneys for the players. 4. Vidal Nuno -- Taking the mound for the Yankees is Vidal Nuno... Yep... that's the guy. A former 48th Round draft pick in 2009 of the Cleveland Indians out of Baker University in Baldwin City Kansas. It took some convincing but after college... Vidal gave up his dream of being a Baker and decided to try throwing a round object as an Indian. He was initially disappointed because he thought he was going to become an actual Native American Indian professionally but the baseball thing has worked out in hindsight because here he is... in the big leagues facing our Minnesota Twins. 5. I was recently asked by someone new in town... "How do you get to Menards"? I said "It's way on the South End of Town"... He then asked me if it was within walking distance? and I said "Yes it is". Of course that was a trick question in my mind because if you have the time... Reno, Nevada is within walking distance... I truly feel that I answered him honestly.

I don't know... I hardly get a chance to see him play.

Well.. He didn't strike out. This UBEL thing may have legs.

Ok... Let's try... go UBEL

​hammer

It is hard. However after 10 years of catching in the majors... 3 years catching in the minors... High School... He'd be able to ride a bike again for 8 innings max. I really hope Pinto isn't being benched because Gardy is afraid of losing the DH spot. I'm hoping that Pinto is being benched because he Gardy forgot how to spell his name or something. Something that will make me go... Ok that makes sense.

No!!! In honor of Tibs... It's Mutton or Lamb tonight.

I love successful bunts for a hit.

I have little to none... Farm experience... However... Growing up my Uncle had a farm(eieio) and he had pigs for a time. High school aged... I went to visit for a week and helped him out. The 5 in the morning thing wasn't much fun but I was shocked by the reality of it. Yeah... They poop and you gotta shovel that stuff but Mom rolls over on the babies and kills them all the time. Me: Ahh Uncle... There's a dead baby over here. Uncle: Just throw it out into the Hey Pile. Me: Really??? Uncle: Yep... Just throw it on the Hey Pile Me: Shouldn't we say something first Uncle: Like what Me: I don't know... He was a fine pig or something like that. Uncle: You can if you want but don't take long... We got work to do. (So I grab the baby pig by the feet and toss it out of the barn into the Hey Pile and the dogs immediately come a running and start eating it). Me: You don't buy a lot of dog food do ya Uncle: A little but it's a long way to town. (before I'm done... I probably find 5 dead baby pigs and I toss them all in similiar fashion. Me: I see why you don't say anything... You probably run out of words.

Don't forget the Maid-Rites... They are awesome.

Corn is really interesting when a friend of yours decides to pick some in a field behind a rest stop. Take it home and cook it without knowing that it might not be the delicious corn on the cob he was expecting.

Oh... North Dakota needs to be fixed as well. However... The part of North Dakota where I live... I consider it to be Minnesota. North Dakota today... Really starts when you climb out of The remains of Lake Agassiz. Valley City and west. Us in the Valley... We are still Minnesotanish.

It's about money. Iowa needs to be fixed. Way too much Corn and Pigs.

I have to ask why?

Crap ... sorry ... forgot! Here they are late ... but you all probably know it by now! Forecast: Nice day! Rangers: SP, Martinez Choo DH Sardiñas SS Moreland 1B Beltre 3B Ríos RF Choice LF Martin CF Chirinos C Odor 2B Twins: SP, Deduno Dozier 2B Mauer 1B Plouffe 3B Arcia RF Willingham DH Kubel LF Pinto C Escobar SS Santana CF ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Things to Think About: 1. 24-26 -- After 50 games... The Twins remain in striking distance of .500. 13-13 at home and 11-13 on the road. Get a win today and it's a winning home record. Despite the offensive taking a vacation and leaving pitching and defense to do all the housework at home... The Twins are 4-6 in their last 10 and still in position to recover and get moving. The Rubber band still has the ability to pull this thing back. Through it all... The Twins are still average... they still have some so-so juice. 2. Sam Deduno -- He sports a 3.48 ERA and while he hasn't gone great distances on the mound... 6 innings the max thus far. He has not been blown out and you can't say he hasn't given his team a chance to win a baseball game when he has taken the hill. With news of additional health problems for Pelfrey... It looks like Deduno can and is locking himself into the rotation. Now give me the key and I'll swallow it. 3. Nick Martinez -- There are not many baseball players in the majors that I have not seen. I watch a lot of baseball and have seen most players at least once. I have not seen Nick Martinez... I have no idea what he throws. I do know that the Rangers rotation is full of holes and someone had to jump in and help fill those holes and Nick Martinez is one of those guys. At some point Derek Holland is going to come back and somebody is gonna have to get out of the hole so Holland can fill it instead it. Nick is pitching for a starting spot in the rotation and he has been doing pretty good so far. He's got a 2.14 ERA although his WHIP is at 1.43 so the ERA could be soft. Nick was born in Miami Florida and he is 23 years old. That's pretty young... at that age... He probably thinks his parents don't know anything. 4. Eduardo Nunez -- The stories came flooding out of New York... Nunez can't play defense!!! Do an internet search and you read article after article about Nunez not being able to play defense. I keep watching for it... just to see it for myself and I haven't seen it yet unless you count some of his OF adventures. I'm not saying he can play defense... maybe he can't... I'm saying I haven't seen it yet and I think it's possible that he waits until I turn the channel to start kicking the ball around. 5. Break-ups -- A friend of mine was upset today because he came home from a week on the road and his girlfriend had left him without warning. He was a little troubled about losing her and not really knowing why... He was caught off guard and there was just a note saying she can't do this anymore. Although... He was mostly concerned because she took all of her stuff. That included the Refrigerator... The Bed... The Shampoo. It's been a rough couple of days sleeping on the floor and things kept cold in a cooler. I didn't know what to say to him to make him feel better. I told him that she should have given two week notice... and a temp should have been brought in. I probably shouldn't be giving advice when I'm working and in work mode.

I do not believe for a second that Joe Mauer has forgotten how to play Catcher!!! We do not need a third catcher on this roster. In case of emergency/injury... Mauer can put on the tools of ignorance and finish up the game. If he catches a foul ball of the mask in that short time and is concussed... it's just bad luck. The same bad luck as if he gets hit in the skull by a pitch or gets elbowed in the head at 1B by a runner moving down the line... It's bad luck and we will have to face the fact that we have an injury prone 23 million dollar a year investment. I'm Ok with Joe Mauer giving up catching to be a first baseman... I'm OK if he is labeled a 1st baseman only forever and ever. I do think it increased the odds of him staying healthy but if there is any thought in the Twins ownership, front office, dugout or with Joe or with anyone watching from the stands or reading Twins Daily, that Joe is simply not an option to finish out a game behind the plate if the team needs him in case of in-game injury to a catcher... umm... I don't know what to say. In regards to Pinto's playing time: I don't care if it's the 25th man on the roster with an OPS of .111. If that player has started only once in 9 games. Send him down or cut him. If you have a player collecting dust on your bench in this fashion. He either doesn't belong on the roster or you lack the managerial creativity that God gave to Koala Bears. Now if that player collecting dust... is PINTO... who has done nothing but let everyone know that he is an offensive talent in his short time in the majors. It becomes so head scratching that your scalp become raw from the head scratching. And if the player is Pinto during a time of offensive drought... well... we can assume... ummm.... well I'm speechless... I got nothing. I can even understand it... if Gardy feels that Suzuki handles the pitching staff better. Maybe the pitchers like Suzuki handling them... That's OK... I can understand that. It's OK... Put Suzuki behind the plate until his knees lock into a permanent squat shape. The DH spot is still sitting right there and whoever could have been the DH instead of Pinto can rotate into other positions in the field. I really don't mind if Dozier sits every once in awhile so Santana can play. Do a better job of rotating your players in. I don't mind if Mauer sits every once in awhile so Parm can play. NOBODY should have to sit 8 games out of 9. I'd be concerned if Kubel sat 8 out of 9 games. The fact that Pinto has played less then everybody on the entire roster in the past 9 games is... ummm... I can't think of any words that respectfully fit. Ladies and Gentlemen... Meet your 25th Man... Josmil PINTO!!!

Is it just me... Or does it seem like Pinto has not been in the lineup for the majority of this low run production streak? And doesn't it seem like Pinto was in the lineup when we were producing? I'll hang up and listen.

Austinites work at the plant... They've seen it made.

That would explain all that stuff that was dropped out of the windows.

Ummm... Gotta pass that one by... Take a strike... I'm in enough trouble tonight.

They don't like them anyway.. They'd rather go with friends to someone else party.