Riverbrian

I've already decided that I'm having Ice Cream tonight... It's just a question of when.

If he hits that at the SS it's a DP. If it gets into CF it's runners on the corners... What does this tell you? Don't walk the lead off guy.... DUH

I'm normally... umm... abnormal.

I get to watch a baseball game tonight. Life is back to normal.

BTW... I didn't mean to single out anybody in the intro. However Vodka fit the theme so Dave went under the bus. He's tough... The Bus won't slow him down.

Are the Twins done? NYET. It's a roller coaster ride folks. This is the way it works when you play hard ball. You lose three in a row to the Yankees and Twins Daily goes nuts. You win 4 in a row and Orioles Daily goes nuts. This isn't just a Twins thing. All across America and St. Petersburg... fans lose their minds with every win and loss and in baseball... there are a bunch of wins and losses to fuel this roller coaster. Let's hope the Twins can keep this streak going because a winning streak will make everyone, including the guys on the field, feel good. Except for VodkaDave... of course. Are the Twins done? NYET. It's a roller coaster ride folks. This is the way it works when you play hard ball. You lose three in a row to the Yankees and Twins Daily goes nuts. You win 4 in a row and Orioles Daily goes nuts. This isn't just a Twins thing. All across America and St. Petersburg... fans lose their minds with every win and loss and in baseball... there are a bunch of wins and losses to fuel this roller coaster. Let's hope the Twins can keep this streak going because a winning streak will make everyone, including the guys on the field, feel good. Except for VodkaDave... of course. 1. Tampa Bay -- This is not the name of the city and I just discovered this. The city is simply Tampa... The bay is what is called Tampa Bay. The team called Tampa Bay plays in St. Petersburg and St. Petersburg is the 2nd largest city in Russia. Baseball isn't very big in Russia and this explains why nobody attends Rays home games. The club is desperate to build a stadium on American soil to cut down on the travel time, play games on real grass, increase club revenue with all the modern amenities and, perhaps most importantly... because the Russian accents were scaring people away. 2. The Rays -- They used to be known as the Devil Rays... However, some guy named Ray was able to convince them that they should drop the Devil and a new religion was formed. The Rays are currently 62-62. This puts them right behind the Twins; and the Twins are right behind the Rangers for the final playoff spot. The Rays don't believe in playing games on paper... they play games on plastic instead. Historically they are low budget and this leads to James Loney batting 4th. It doesn't seem to matter... they win games 50 percent of the time. 3. Sano, Buxton and Rosario -- The talented youngsters are up and finally playing together. So far the results have been fantastic. With these 3 in the same lineup the Twins are 4-0. To put this in perspective.... when any of these three are not in the lineup... the Twins are 4331 and 4395. However, it should be pointed out that despite a losing record when either Sano, Buxton or Rosario are not in the lineup, the Twins did manage to win the World Series in 1987 and 1991. 4. Swing and Miss -- The Twins need to go up to the plate with a plan against the Rays starting pitching. Karns tonight, Archer tomorrow and Smyly on Thursday. All three of these guys average over a strikeout an inning or very close to a strikeout per inning. I'd like to joke about this but strikeouts are not funny. 5. Sorry/Apologize -- My whole life I thought I understood the English language. I've always believed that saying "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" was the same thing. I've tested this theory many times with my wife. I've told her "I'm sorry" and I've told her "I apologize" many many times because I left a towel on the bathroom floor or I forgot to mow the lawn. I've used "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" interchangeably and it's worked every time. It was clear to me that they mean the same thing... until I apologized at a funeral yesterday. ---------------------- Game-time forecast: It'll likely be hot, humid and maybe rainy in Tampa/St. Pete's today, but not to worry ... the game is indoors so who cares about the forecast. Lineups: TWINS Buxton CF Dozier 2B Mauer 1B Sano DH Plouffe 3B Rosario LF Hunter RF Suzuki C Escobar SS Santana P RAYS Sizemore RF Jennings LF Longoria 3B Jaso DH Forsythe 2B Cabrera SS Loney 1B Kiermaier CF Casali C Karns P Go Twins! Play ball! View full article

It's been covered by many but originally it was Smiley Lewis in the 50's. The version most remember was Dave Edmunds out of Wales.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQMF0cnZc8M

I don't know... Why did the Suicidal Chicken Cross the Road?

No doubt about it... I gotta get a new hat. One of the greatest lines in TV History.

Always listen to the Catcher Catcher are a lot like Wives in that regard.

All Morning... One Squirrel has been chasing this other squirrel just outside my patio window... Up the Tree... Down the Tree. Across the Patio... out of sight and then across the patio from the other side and out of sight again... And then up the tree and down the tree... and all around the tree. Resting for awhile and then away they go. It might seem like they are playing... but I think i'm watching a territorial battle of sorts. It's been 6 hours and it's still going on. They are fighting for control of the Trees by my patio. I don't know who I'm cheering for.

Yes... No Doubt... Happy Birthday to Glunn If I was the Mayor of Beverly Hills... There would be a parade today. Of course... If I was Mayor of Beverly Hills. That would mean the Clampetts stuffed the ballot box.

If the Twins can roll 10 wins in a row. The World Changes!!! Actually it might be a supernova type of event for our world.

By Being consistently off topic... we are always on topic.

Yeah... I've flown twice and both times out of Kalamazoo just to save 200 bucks. Apparently flying into Grand Rapids is more expensive because the terminal is paved in gold or something.

Be Careful... I got Skippy from Family Ties mad at me kind of like this. True Story: His real name is Marc Price. He also does a comedy act (not very good) and he came to town. After the Show... I knew the club owner and he invited me to hang out with Skippy and the three of us were just sitting there having some drinks and Skippy asked what we thought of his new material. He mentioned his Regina Joke specifically and what did we think of it. The Joke started with I was in Regina Saskatchewan. To Keep this is somewhat PG... Just use your imagination... The Punchline was C'mon it's just one letter off. So Skippy asked the both of us what we thought of the joke... The Club Owner was all... It was great... Wonderful... and I said... Umm... Actually it's two letters off. And Skippy glares at me and says... Well that wouldn't have been as funny... and he stormed off. and that was the last I saw of Skippy.

You'd get a couple Game Thread Openers.

I got some left over... If you ever stop by Grand Rapids. We can picnic.

Modern Lingo for something that a frog sits on.

It means that I will be forever dependent on 1st graders to help me run my Ipad at optimum efficiency.

Yes... He respectfully laughs with me while shaking his head while slapping his hand on his knee and tears rolling down his face while he tries to compose himself just to get the words out in a very high pitched voice... respectfully.

At work... As you can surely imagine. The IT Guy just laughs and laughs and laughs at me.