Riverbrian

1. Chicago – The Windy City is a weird place. Just cruise by the art and it doesn’t take long to come to that conclusion. Chicagoans are basically down to earth people but when they make a concentrated effort to be snobby… they choose to be snobby about… of all things… Hot Dogs. They like their sandwiches wet which is odd because Clark Griswold is from Chicago and he clearly didn’t like his sandwich wet at all. Every Friday night they hold turtle races at Big Joe's. This is not a race between Greg Luzinski and Ron Kittle… they race actual turtles; the races begin at 9:30 on Friday nights and they end on the following Thursdays at 6PM. Chicago has LED faces that spit water, a 100 pound steel bean that distorts your reflection, buildings that are shaped like corn cobs, 16 inch softballs and Oprah Winfrey. Chicago also has 37 bridges that separate to allow cars to fall into the river and that river turns green once a year probably from all the anti-freeze leaking out of the cars that fall into the river because of those unpredictable bridges. 2. Our Twins – Life is good right now in Twins Territory. Three games and three wins and we have nothing to complain about. Not that we won’t try to complain anyway. Byron Buxton looks like September was a long time ago, Joe Mauer looks like 2009 was a long time ago, Brian Dozier hasn’t homered yet but Sano has and Jason Castro has pitch framed his pitching staff to 5 runs in 27 innings for an ERA under 2. I see no reason the Twins won’t keep winning as long as the White Sox walk 16 batters over 3 games like the Royals did. 3. The White Sox – It was a partial fire sale for the Sox this off season. Rumors were frequent that everyone was going away. Sale, Eaton, Quintana, Frazier, Abreu were on the trading block but like typical White Sox… they just couldn’t complete the plan. They may have moved Quintana but the asking price became too high after what they received for Eaton. They just ain’t going to trade their players for any ole’ hot dog. They want a special Hot Dog and they want mustard, onions, relish, tomatoes, peppers and celery salt thrown into the deal. What a bunch of snobs they are!!! 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation Mauer: Hey Joe, what are you doing. Maddon: I’m watching this giraffe here on my phone. Her name is April and she is going to give birth any moment. McCarthy: She still hasn’t given birth yet. Jeez… Let that thing drop already. Mauer: That’ll be a long drop… they should put down some pillows or something. McCarthy: I was watching last month and I got tired of waiting. Maddon: Last month? McCarthy: Yeah it’s been streaming for about a month now… Still Waiting I guess. Mauer: People have been watching this… all that time? McCarthy: Yeah Maddon: The same people who think baseball is too long? McCarthy: Yeah… The Same People. 5. Privacy – My wife told me that she didn’t want me posting her private details publicly anymore. Not on Twins Daily, Facebook, Twitter or anything like that… She said that it wasn’t anyone else’s business. I love her and respect her so I told her that I wouldn’t, although I suspect that her hemorrhoids are making her a little cranky. ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Brian Dozier 2B Robbie Grossman DH Byron Buxton CF Miguel Sano 1B Jorge Polanco SS Max Kepler RF Eduardo Escobar 3B Chris Gimenez C Eddie Rosario LF Phil Hughes, P WHITE SOX Tyler Saladino 2B Tim Anderson SS Melky Cabrera LF Jose Abreu 1B Todd Frazier 3B Cody Asche DH Avisail Garcia RF Geovany Soto C Leury Garcia CF Derek Holland, P Game-time forecast: 45 deg F, a few clouds here and there, very low chance of rain, winds at 5mph from the east ... which means from across the lake ... brrrrrr.