Riverbrian

The Twins travel to Canada for a 3-game series starting tonight against the Blue Jays. There is good news and bad news in the Wild Card race. The Good News is that the Twins are currently in possession of that final wild card spot. The bad news is that the entire American League are within striking distance of that final wild card spot that we hold so tenderly. The Royals, Mariners and AngeIs are all a mere half game back, The Rangers are 1 game back and the Rays and Orioles are just a moderately-sized hot streak from joining the pack. There is a crowd and a risk of somebody getting trampled. Here are some things to think about: 1. Canada – There is only one professional baseball team in all of Canada. I was trying to imagine what that would be like if the situation was reversed. Let’s say there was a team from New York in the Canadian Football League. You have to suspend your imagination and assume that it is possible to have a 55 yard line on American soil but let’s say New York had a team and was the only American team in the CFL. Would our American pride be so great that we would cheer for the New York team? Would Americans know who won the Grey Cup every year? Personally, I’m not sure that I would, because to me Canadians are just like Americans without a gun. Canadians have free health care but Americans have White Castle restaurants so there are differences. Next time you go to Canada, it’ll almost feel like home. If you don’t know how to address a Canadian guy when up there, just call him Gordon and you have a 50% chance of being correct. 2. Our Twins – You can’t compare records in baseball and assume it’s an indication on how things turn out. We just got done sweeping the D-Backs and followed that with the lowly White Sox... and in that 5-game series the Sox won 3 of them. Its baseball where the Phillies can beat the Dodgers on any given night. All you can do is keep putting the uniform on to get ready for the next game. It’s late August and the Twins are in Wild Card position and that is more exciting than it being late August, looking out your window and wondering if the grass is long enough to mow. 3. The Blue Jays – These guy have been labeled the biggest disappointment in baseball so far in 2017. They were supposed to have the pitching needed along with the big bats of Donaldson, Tulo and Bautista. The Jays and Red Sox were supposed to be competing for that AL East crown. Let’s be clear, the Jays are not out of it, they are 5 games behind us, but, I believe they fully expected to be in much stronger position. In my opinion, this makes them a little dangerous. They can still get hot and grab a WC spot and become that team nobody wants to face. Nobody will want to face the Jays not because they have talent but mainly because nobody wants to go to Toronto in October unless you live in Winnipeg. 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation: Morgan: Hey, Joe… I’ve always wondered what it was like being a ghost. McCarthy: It’s alright… it’s a lot like being alive only you are not. Maddon: What kind of things do ghosts do? McCarthy: I don’t know… we get together and play Pac-Man… we gather around the fire and tell people stories. The same stuff you guys do. Mauer: If you don’t mind me asking… how did you die? McCarthy: I was literally scared half to death… twice. 5. Abbreviations – I haven’t got much today but I was thinking that the word 'abbreviation' is way too long of a word. Along those lines: “I am” is the shortest sentence in the English language. “I do” is the longest. ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Brian Dozier 2B Joe Mauer 1B Byron Buxton CF Eduardo Escobar 3B Jorge Polanco SS Eddie Rosario LF Mitch Garver DH Max Kepler RF Chris Gimenez C Bartolo Colon P BLUE JAYS Steve Pearce LF Josh Donaldson DH Justin Smoak 1B Jose Bautista 3B Miguel Montero C Kevin Pillar CF Norichika Aoki RF Ryan Goins SS Darwin Barney 2B J.A. Happ P Weather: inside the dome temperate Click here to view the article

Greeting from Morehead, Kentucky. That was quite a weekend for our Twins. It wasn’t a sweep of the D-Backs, it was a high powered leaf blowing of the D-Backs. It was snake handling at the expert level, scoring 27 runs on what was the 2nd best team ERA in baseball. The Twins get to follow that with a 5-game series in Chicago starting with a big, Monday doubleheader. The White Sox are not run by Bill Veeck anymore. You can tell that those days are gone because I can’t find anything special happening at Guaranteed Rate Field during the solar eclipse, other than a start time of game 1 that is well past the 1:18 event. Eighty-seven percent coverage of the sun is expected in Chicago with maybe 26% coverage of the game by the media. Bill Veeck would have at least invited everyone to the ball park early and gave away free optometrists to the first 10,000 fans. Myself, I didn’t make plans to view the eclipse but I will be driving from Kentucky to Georgia today and my car will be crossing the center line path on the way, so I’ll probably stop driving somewhere in Tennessee, find a nearby park and watch a total eclipse of the park. After many requests that I do so over my lifetime, it’s a chance to finally stick it where the sun don’t shine. After it is over… I will attempt to finish my drive to Atlanta like Stevie Wonder would. Which will only be a slight decline from my usual inattentive driving style. At first I thought it was going be a total ellipse... and with my overuse of that punctuation... it made sense that I was there. Turns out... it's just an eclipse... but... I'll take a look anyway. [NOTE: If you use a welder's helmet to watch the eclipse, as seen in the photo of the article, make sure the glass is #14 glass.] Here are some things to think about: 1. Carbondale – In extreme Southern Illinois lies the city of Carbondale. I’m out of things about which to make fun of Chicago, and since a large chunk of Chicagoans will be in Carbondale for the eclipse, I thought I’d focus on this place of mainly Cardinals Fans. Nearly 26,000 people live in Carbondale year round but they estimate 60,000 people will invade the city today. Oddly enough, Shawn Colvin grew up in Carbondale, talk about “Sunny Came Home.” Carbondale was named after a nearby coal deposit by Daniel Brush who was the first area landowner. That’s how close the city came to being named Coaldaniel. 2. Our Twins – It was a great weekend and I hope it leads to a great week and great month of September. In Today’s doubleheader we have a couple of interesting pitchers. Dillon Gee and Tim “Call me Ishmael” Melville will throw for the Twins. Gee has been pretty good out of the pen for us so I am hopeful for a decent start today. Melville I know very little about; all I know is that he has spent a little time in the majors some years ago, never mind how precisely. I hope he has a whale of a game. 3. The White Sox – After many years of trying to win with expensive free agents, the White Sox have gone the opposite direction and the youth is starting to bubble to the surface. The Twins will get to see Yoan Moncada, Carson Fulmer and Lucas Giolito during this series. The cool thing about rookies is that they make the minimum. They are paid a minimum guaranteed rate at Guaranteed Rate Field. 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation: Maddon: Joe… do you alter your approach at the plate depending on the pitcher you are facing? Mauer: I do… When I face Kluber for example… I like to see as many pitches as I can to get a feel for what he is throwing. Morgan: That’s smart because Kluber has 5 different pitches that he can throw effectively. McCarthy: What about a left hander like Chris Sale? Montana: Yeah… Sale… with that big slider from the left side. Mauer: Exactly… with Sale you have to be aware of that slider. So with him… I like to see as many pitches as I can. Maddon: What would you do against one of my guys? Jake Arrieta for example. Mauer: With Arrieta you got treat him a little differently. He’s got that cross body style that can be a little confusing because it’s unique. So… I like to see as many pitches as I can. 5. Explanations – My youngest son asked me “Dad… can you explain what an eclipse is?” Naturally I shook my head and replied, “No Sun.” And I dropped the Mic. Yes... I use a Microphone when I talk to my kids. ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Brian Dozier 2B Joe Mauer DH Byron Buxton CF Eduardo Escobar 3B Chris Gimenez C Eddie Rosario LF Mitch Garver 1B Max Kepler RF Jorge Polanco SS Tim Melville P WHITE SOX Leury Garcia LF Yoan Moncada 2B Jose Abreu 1B Nicky Delmonico DH Avisail Garcia RF Holmer Sanchez 3B Tim Anderson SS Omar Narvaez C Adam Engel CF Carlos Rodon P Weather: 80s, humid, cloudy ... rain is coming, but let's hope it hits after the 2nd game tonight. But even so, it shouldn't be so much to cancel/postpone a game. Click here to view the article

So Yeah... You are responsible!!!

I do that a lot. I also carry on conversations with myself while showering. I also wash my hair during job interviews.

My wife has made that suggestion a few times. She usually changes her mind once she calms down and realizes that the Pacifica is her car.

Ambiguity... The Rodeo Clown's Alarm Clock

Well Yeah

We all learn to eat BELT's when we are young

I'm ok with eating Eggs after losses. Might be a new tradition started on the TD Game thread. We could post pictures of eggs after a loss. As for the Chicken tradition. I think that was Chief forcing his dietary recommendations upon us all and we thought about and the collective went... "Um... OK".

And… we move onto the Diamondbacks, starting a 3-game series at Target Field tonight. This is some tough pitching back to back. The Indians are 3rd overall in team ERA at 3.63, The D-Backs are currently 2nd at 3.61… it’s called out of the frying pan and into the fire. Things can sure change from year to year in this crazy game. Last year… Twins pitching was pretty bad yet only 29th overall in Team ERA with a 5.08 because the D-Backs came in dead last with a 5.09. That Arizona team looks like a distant memory now. Also consider this… of the 10 teams with the worst records in 2016… 5 of them (Twins, D-Backs, Rays, Brewers and Angels) are either holding a playoff spot or within 3 games of a playoff spot at this moment. Baseball teams are like eggs… they can suddenly produce a chicken on you. And… and… down the road… those chickens will lay an egg. Or baseball teams are like chicken depending on your own personal philosophy. Here are some things to think about: 1. Burnsville – With a population of 61,000 plus, Burnsville is a rather large bedroom community by Minnesota standards. To qualify as an official bedroom community, you must have nothing else to do but sleep and that fits Burnsville. Another way to qualify as an official bedroom community is to place the entire town inside a huge Ashley’s Furniture or Ikea store. To give you an example of how bedroom community-esque Burnsville is, in a town of 61,000, the largest employer is the school district. This means the residents produce a bunch of kids, send them off to school to be educated by a bunch of folks forced to stay behind while they get the hell out of town during daylight. 2. Our Twins – It’s fun looking at the AL Central leader and think about chasing them, but right now… I will admit to everyone that I’m more comfortable looking at the wild card group and thinking about remaining in that chase. There comes a point in every long distance race, when the runner in 7th place can see that 1, 2, 3 and 4 are so far ahead, that catching them will be real hard. So, finishing 5th becomes the new goal or the new 1st. 3. The D-Backs – The D-Backs were a horrible disappointment in 2016. I listened to MLB Radio religiously in the off-season and I read the pre-season articles from the experts… nobody was talking about the D-Backs in 2017 as a contender and here they are anyway. Maybe it’s that new manager, Torey Lovello, the same guy who finished runner-up for the Twins job in 2015. I look at it this way… Lovello finished runner up to Paul Molitor, that means that Paul has beaten him before and he can beat him again this weekend. 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation: Mauer: This guy is arguing with me on TwinsDaily. Maddon: Are you arguing with him? Mauer: I wouldn’t do that… you can’t win an argument on the internet. I’m just explaining why I’m right. Montana: It’s pretty easy to start an argument on the internet. Morgan: Yeah… just type something. McCarthy: I didn’t need the internet to get into arguments back when I was alive. I got into arguments with people face to face every day. There were times when I realized that I was in the wrong argument and just kept arguing anyway. Mauer: I just asked this Riverbrian guy if he was capable of making a logical argument and he replied that he doesn’t know what logical means. Montana: That’s clever. Mauer: Now he’s saying that 3 out of 2 people don’t understand logic. Maddon: He’s using math now. It’s over, Joe… you just lost. 5. Shopping - My job is to get the groceries out of the car and bring them into the house. My wife went shopping yesterday and the entire back end of the Pacifica was filled with grocery bags. I looked at all those bags and wondered, "If I dislocated my shoulders, could I bring them all in with one trip?" ____________________ Lineups: DIAMONDBACKS David Peralta LF A.J. Pollock DH Jake Lamb 3B Paul Goldschmidt 1B J.D. Martinez RF Daniel Descalso 2B Chris Iannetta C Ketel Marte SS Gregor Blanco CF Zack Godley P TWINS Brian Dozier 2B Max Kepler RF Joe Mauer 1B Miguel Sano 3B Eddie Rosario LF Eduardo Escobar DH Byron Buxton CF Jorge Polanco SS Jason Castro C (no Garver sighting today ) Ervin Santana P Weather: Mostly cloudy, but I think there won't be rain tonight, 73 deg F, winds at 5mph from the WNW. Please, weather, hold out ... no more double headers ... Click here to view the article

That guy was funny. He will be my next web search.

The Photo was stolen as usual. Can't vouch for it's authenticity.

I had enough issues to be concerned with Molitor last year. I have had very few issues with Molitor this year. I've been happy with how he has handled the playing time this year. The difference causes me to assume that Paul is listening to his supervisors and trying to execute the playbook.

It’s a 3-game series against the division-leading Cleveland Indians starting at Target Field tonight. I don’t have to tell you all what a sweep of the Indians would mean. Everybody in front offices around the league, all the players for every team, fans of the Indians, fans of the Twins and all fans across the fruited plain would clearly understand what a sweep by the Twins would mean... It would mean that we won 3 games and the Indians lost 3 games. Let the chase commence! Here are some things to think about: 1. Cleveland and Grover – I don’t know how many of you have memorized all of the towns in Minnesota but in case you have not… there is a Cleveland, Minnesota. Its 66 miles southwest of Minneapolis and 1,634 miles northeast of Tucson, Arizona. With that close proximity to Tucson, the Sonoran hot dog, chimichanga and ranch fries are the staple of Cleveland cuisine. Twenty-eight different states have a Cleveland, the majority of them named after our 22nd and 24th president, Grover Cleveland. Now that Grover has been mentioned… Minnesota has a Grover, too, where the residents don’t… oops… I mean do not use contractions when they speak. You should not worry about that strange conversational style because contraction is a bad word in Twins territory and I am going to try stop using contractions myself from here on out. The citizens of Grover constantly run far away just to turn and shout FAR before returning to close proximity to shout NEAR and then they do it again until everybody understands the difference. The blue and furry people of Grover and the Twins fans of Cleveland, Twins Daily salutes you. 2. Our Twins – If the Twins wouldn’t… oops… I mean would not have blown a huge lead against the Tigers on Saturday, we would be enjoying an 8-game winning streak right now. I do not mention this to point out the negative thing in a pile of positive, I mention it to illustrate how close we were to an 8-game winning streak. During this winning streak Sano has not been helping that much. If it was not for Sano’s low OPS we would have 8 players with an OPS over .900 during that streak. Uff da... I've ... oops ... I have got to quit using negative to highlight positive. 3. The Indians - The tribe have been improving as the season goes along and they have a chance to put some real distance between them and 2nd place this weekend. They currently have a 5-game lead and if they can increase that distance they will start reserving October hotels and booking flights to Boston for the 1st round of the playoffs. This is clearly a moment where the Twins can say, “We are still HERE!” and clearly a moment where the Indians can say, “No you are NOT!” 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation: Montana: Hey, guys… I’ve got my lottery tickets. Dropped 50 bucks but I’m sure there is a winner in here somewhere. Maddon: What’s the jackpot up to now? McCarthy: 430 million Morgan: I cannot believe you dropped 50 bucks on that stuff. You would not do that if you understood the odds. You simply should not waste your money that way. Maddon: Why are you speaking like Grover? Morgan: Trying to get rich by playing the lottery is like trying to commit suicide by flying on a commercial airline. Montana: The lines get real long when the jackpot gets real big. Nobody seems to care when the jackpot is small. Mauer: I can understand that. When it is only 23 million… it is hardly worth the effort. 5. Potatoes - We had baked potatoes for supper last night. My son mentioned that he likes his potatoes mashed the best. I told him do not worry because his stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed anyway. Click here to view the article

Sounds like you are wining about having all that wine.

Balls straight behind you are tough to judge because you gotta turn and get back and those balls will slice so he probably started like anyone would have but he made the adjustment and got to a ball that very few would have got to. I give him an 11 on a scale of 1 to 9.6

He was waiting for you.

I'm rarely not speechless. Buxton's catch was that rare.

ROSARIO

Besides Thorogood. 62% of TD Members