Bark's Lounge

I have to admit I am a bit concerned with the impending trade deadline quickly closing in on us Twins fans. Some of you are adamant about the necessity to make a trade and some of you are equally apprehensive about making a trade. I see both sides, and I am very worried that a few folks on this site might access the end of their sanity with a trade/non-trade and reach and breach their breaking point. I have a few suggestions for those who might feel this is a feasible outcome. 1. Drink a lot of water (with lemon or lime… it makes a difference). 2. For your Gods - Sacrifice a neighbor’s dog, cat or maybe a little bunny inhabiting your yard or recreation area… it might please this mighty force. 3. A Full Body Shave – It is possible you might feel weighted down by the trade situation. Like a swimmer shaves their body to accrue more quickness, by shaving your body you might feel a swiftness to deal with adversity and “swim” through the people you deal with on a daily basis with a positive and upbeat attitude. No one likes a downer… except me. 4. Use recreational drugs. They will most definitely let you escape for a short period of time, but if you dedicate yourself to stopping the intake of negative feelings a daily use of ganja, mushrooms and sometimes alcohol might suppress the darkness that is enclosing your life… maybe. 5. Last and least. Go to your local physician and tell them your depressed. You will instantaneously get a subscription for some Prozac, Zoloft, or another Psychotropic drug that is popular these days. They probably will take away the highs and the lows (side affects included) and you can continue living your life on the basis you do so now. If you adhere to these five points, I think you will be okay. The one concern I have is the emotional quotient that is baseball. Who the hell wants to lose that? There may or not be some trades involving the Twins. Let’s hope that Terry Ryan is shrewd in his moves and gets equal+ value. This is somewhat the last chance for the Twins to show that they have a handle on things. If Ryan fails us, I fear that the Twins faithful might be lost in oblivion and the handlers rendered useless.

I have to admit I am a bit concerned with the impending trade deadline quickly closing in on us Twins fans. Some of you are adamant about the necessity to make a trade and some of you are equally apprehensive about making a trade. I see both sides, and I am very worried that a few folks on this site might access the end of their sanity with a trade/non-trade and reach and breach their breaking point. I have a few suggestions for those who might feel this is a feasible outcome. 1. Drink a lot of water (with lemon or lime… it makes a difference). 2. For your Gods - Sacrifice a neighbor’s dog, cat or maybe a little bunny inhabiting your yard or recreation area… it might please this mighty force. 3. A Full Body Shave – It is possible you might feel weighted down by the trade situation. Like a swimmer shaves their body to accrue more quickness, by shaving your body you might feel a swiftness to deal with adversity and “swim” through the people you deal with on a daily basis with a positive and upbeat attitude. No one likes a downer… except me. 4. Use recreational drugs. They will most definitely let you escape for a short period of time, but if you dedicate yourself to stopping the intake of negative feelings a daily use of ganja, mushrooms and sometimes alcohol might suppress the darkness that is enclosing your life… maybe. 5. Last and least. Go to your local physician and tell them your depressed. You will instantaneously get a subscription for some Prozac, Zoloft, or another Psychotropic drug that is popular these days. They probably will take away the highs and the lows (side affects included) and you can continue living your life on the basis you do so now. If you adhere to these five points, I think you will be okay. The one concern I have is the emotional quotient that is baseball. Who the hell wants to lose that? There may or not be some trades involving the Twins. Let’s hope that Terry Ryan is shrewd in his moves and gets equal+ value. This is somewhat the last chance for the Twins to show that they have a handle on things. If Ryan fails us, I fear that the Twins faithful might be lost in oblivion and the handlers rendered useless.

Ditto PFH. Keep up the excellent work!

Good point. You might be on to something.

I get you. I don't think he has a filter in his thought process to weed those kind of things out.

No, I don't think he is focusing on serving up K's. If I am correct, I believe that MLB has mandated a new rule for the Twins that they have to give up no less than 2 HRs a game. My thinking is he is trying to get the Home Runs out the way - that way he can focus on his game plan.

I don't know what the big deal is about Jone's 3 run HR. The oposition is going to hit a few HR's against us every game... we all know this. Twins need 7+ R's to win this one.

Good one Glunn. Unfortunately, now I have a picture stuck in my head of this happening.

Yeah, I think Ryan will try, but this is the best of what he will get - speculatively.

I don't care to speculate too much on who will be on or off the roster on 8-1-12, but David Phelps will be on our roster at that time, being part of the Liriano trade to the Yanks for Phelps, Austin Romine, and Brandon Laird.

If what you say is true. Then you play to win. The MLB Draft is a MF'n crapshoot.

If that is the goal I certainly hope there is a Strasburg or Harper type in next years draft. Preference being a Stasburg type.

Zach Lee, Kenley Jansen and Jerry Sands. Let this be the starting point.

It appears that the Twins should have sent the big league club to extended spring training over the All-Star Break. This team really sucks out of the gate. I am figuring the 2nd half starting gun is going to be as bad as the Opening Day starting gun. Hello 30 games under .500.... Yehaw!

Hey PFH - Nice article. You are hitting on all cylinders. The baseball card article was fantastic also. The Photos added a lot in the dramatic effect department.

Hey Glunn. I like your line of sight in this article. I wonder if the Twins ever broach these kind of prospect for a prospect trade ideas? It seemingly could help both clubs. I guess time will tell.

Nice:)

Anytime... but tonights game has to be way more stomachable than last nights - July 13 (last night) was the true atrocity.

Sure - you start it....

Hello Mr. Powerwrap. I am sure religion has had it's benefit for some and maybe they have executed it in way that is useful to mankind. The stories of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam are just as I said - stories. Not much different than a Spiderman Comic Book, a Sweet Valley High Short Novel, or reading the Onion News. Mythology can be fun and it can also be a detriment. I have people in my family and people who are distantly close to me who promote the ideas of being saved, spreading the message, and all of the other junk I do not care to mention while being morally flawed and without charity. The ancient Greeks worship many Gods, of these we mostly use the term mythology. All of these grandiose stories are basically the same and Blind Faith is intellectual suicide. Of this I cannot subscribe....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zICxh9kKZg

This thread makes me want to smoke some ganja and take some shrooms.... awesome... and thanks!

For all of you that are investing your precious time into watching this game - I want to recite a song for you... but with a twist. Some of you might be too young to remember and some of you might be disgusted with my gift of love and joy. Let us go back to 1987 and the movie "Dirty Dancing". There was a song that Patrick Swayze himself wrote for that movie called "She's Like the Wind." I want you all to use that vocal style and mood to play the following song in your head.... are you ready? We're gonna win Twins We're gonna score We're gonna win Twins Watch that baseball soar Shout out a homerun Shout a Hip-Hooray Cheer for the Minnesota Twins Today! She's like the wind.....

Hey, hold on a second. Everyone loves mythology. Right?

I wouldn't buy it with food stamps. Maybe with Monopoly Money... on 2nd thought.. nah.